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START OF FILE: 2023-10-28 - Conversations Part 1 - What do you mean by 0043 - Conversations.txt
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SERMON DETAILS
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Date:     2023-10-28
Title:    Conversations Part 1 - "What do you mean by" #0043
Speaker:  Conversations
Church:   What Do You Mean By
Type:     Church Service
Duration: 1h 16m
Language: English
URL:      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PN_YQh1mfVw
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TRANSCRIPT
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do you mean by number 43 where I go through how to have better conversations how to start conversations how to continue them I can even add some of my own input as to how you know someone actually wants to continue a conversation or when they don't want to what's up Thomas cross welcome to the live let me see if I can pin this here there we go what's up guys hello so what's up Laura Lin hi to everybody from uh bethl Camp Rosie Jones John Ray hello Ed cross hello welcome to the live so conversations guys everything we do is a conversation everything on this everything on this live is it's a one-way conversation unless I have someone else on here with me and when no one else is on here with me then it's really a one-way conversation unless you and if people aren't commenting there's nothing I can do so the topic tonight is about conversations ask any questions you would like I do not mind what's up everybody Welcome to the live I have I have a lot of of stuff prepared I've got about I believe seven different articles where I just looked up the different levels of conversations and it turns out there are articles where they go across you know these are the different levels of conversations this is how to have them this is how not to these are the things to ask these are the things not to ask what do you think what did you think about the female workers and jeans oh well all we can do is pray for them seem like they were just doing their job what's up Ray welcome to life hey David hey Lily what's up welcome to live you can actually join if you'd like um you're older you you're third you're in your 30s you can uh tell us about conversations too really it' be need to bounce this information because I got uh information from media media medium.com Evan ber.com um Hindu uh Hindustan times NBC News science of people Nick notice better up son of Genius everything we just conversations what's up can you say ask your pastor one time please ask your pastor there we go oh man all right could you Rec crap about the dress codes at Camp well it's the any Camp recap David the audacity there you go you put it in the Caps you'll get this voice and I'll talk like this for the for the capital voices I need to pray quick and then we'll continue Lord thank you for this day thank you for the people that came here to join um I ask to be a fruitful and a positive live Lord help us all to learn something from it maybe put con may be able to put confidence in the minds and hearts of unconfident people or people who are afraid to start conversations or to continue them be perfect go tonight Lord we ask it in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ amen all right fun stuff what's up guys ask your pastor it's a good thing to do and I have a different uh look at it so for instance conversations guys let's see uh let's see Eli cross David could you please recap the dress codes at Camp yes I can so what I was saying is hold on I think my computer weird out what's up Joy Robinson what I was saying was um I I used to think that things were on accident people dress certain ways because if someone told me my shirt was too tight I wouldn't even know so uh oh nice Eli uh the girls at camper modest because they put Sports you know it's always interesting to me how I can here's a mode of conversation for instance everything you say everything you respond to in conversation is up to you so you can take what someone's saying and you can rephrase it back to them and I would say this in um in a convers okay the girls at Camp were immodest because they played sport that's not what I said but I'm not saying that Levi what's up Emanuel God With Us I love that name David what's your thoughts on Joy Robinson well I said I wasn't going to uh I said I wasn't going to say my thoughts on people but I happen to know her she's nice she's fun she's a good person I don't know hardly anything about it though um she got me to play the Bongos and the guitar was her idea at uh TT which is super fun so girls that can't BR modest because they play sports now actually my point was is that uh modesty is a choice and it wasn't impressive to a guy like me when someone wears something that just T wraps around them real tightly and and thin clothing it's like not uh not attractive and David David did you find a a Pooky during Camp I'm what the heck is that a nickname would you call your best friend of someone you really love honestly I didn't have anyone outside of adults I didn't have anyone there that I was uh I was uh close friends with in a way where I could have a close conversation comes people close my close to my age the closest was Anan but that's fine um which is okay it's it's uh it's all good it was it was it was interesting it was I I got to rest though and I got to play the uh go I got to do the go-kart stuff Zoe says David I played your bongos when you left the church is that okay that is not okay Zoe not okay at all I'm G to have to keep people what's up Elijah Winters welcome back oh man what's up a poooky apparently that's like a best friend or something well I had a fun conversation with h Steve coffee him and I do a similar job so I'm a business development representative I set meetings in the tech world and Steve Coffey is a business development VP manager so he manages people like me so it was super cool talking to him and it was neat because we have different approaches like at my job we've basically we basically do no emails and at his job that and so we only we don't do anyil emails and we only really do cold calls and we found that that works at his job they found that cold calls just don't work but emails do so it's pretty uh interesting I Googled it Lily so don't worry bookie a boo SLG girlfriend it also said best friend on there um a boo SL girlfriend no I didn't but I wasn't I wasn't looking you know when you're younger you think that finding a girlfriend is like the utmost importance or whatever um Elijah did you meet from Eli cross Elijah did you meet David Kaine this past weekend yes it did he's pretty tall yeah very nice very nice in person I see Elijah wner says Eli cross I sure did it was an honor blessing well thank you Elijah it was an honor meeting you too very very cool it was super awesome it was super neat I also get to play little ping pong I didn't get to play against uh I didn't get to play against Joseph cockman and I really wanted to I mostly just played against people that were not well the cross is pretty good but um ping pong is the thing I can play pretty well so I mostly just played it was uh it was pretty fun um let's see David could you not Riz a Pooky this weekend sorry Eli I guess I've got L Riz or [Laughter] something let's see Eli cross I saw you mentioned ailia yeah uh so as far as the Mazzi goes I said she was the most modestly dressed girl there around my age that I could seei let's see Kaye Davis what's up guys how's it going questions are welcome questions so can you still beat him in basketball he'd probably still be uh who Eli j winners or Eli cross you know in my Prime I think I could probably beat them both in one-on-one or one on two in my Prime so when I was about let's say 16 I was around 6 ft and I could consistently hit nine out of 10 free throws and about eight or nine out of 10 three-pointers and I had about nine half court shots in a row so I think back then I could beat him both once let's see Caleb um you should run me in pingpong next camp we should totally do that that'd be fun uh buy a really good ping pong paddle because mine is a $80 Racket and like $250 uh rubbers so it's like a $200 ping pong paddle let's see if I could set youall up would you be down I think we should set David let's see light cross if I could set youall up would you be down I don't know what you're referring to Eli Zoe Watkins I think we should set David and joy well definitely I need more joy in my life so uh little Champion Eli was already swinging a Miss I believe oh Eli cross now if we if we got with ailia all I'd say is nuts okay uh Joy Robinson Zoe and Watkins I don't consent Zoe uh Elena Abby butcher bro haaha bruh hello welcome to the live everybody conversations guys and flow of conversations flow of speaking so I'm here I'll ask you guys this what are some things you guys noticed about me in person that you didn't notice on the live maybe something that you perceived about me over the live that wasn't the same in person Eli uh from Lily champ Eli is unhinged in this live tonight no he's not that's not unhinged these are these are rookie numbers for Eli cross oh man but what are some things you guys thought about me that was different from the live I know people told me it was uh different seeing me I bet people probably thought I was quieter in person more reserved which is probably because the tremendous amount of the time I'm this is just all one way and it's just me talking and other people like to speak so I just kind of was relaxing you know they didn't want me to uh they didn't ask me to participate in the prayer line and so uh it was really just a time for me to rest which was nice now I hate resting especially in church but it's fine it's all okay it's all okay conversations continuation of conversations that's also the way that you flow in speaking and a lot of that depends on chemistry with someone it depends on how you speak how they speak back to you depends on a ton of things chemistry attraction lack of Attraction can also spark better conversations uh Lily Champion David is someone who's known you for over a decade quiet or reserved isn't something I described you as well yeah yeah I guess so I guess I guess you're right I guess that's that's kind of right I guess interesting what's up Caitlyn Barrett welcome to the live how's it going the beard guys the beard this this live has done so many things for me and the most important thing is the beard by far like nothing's nothing else is even close at all definitely quiet or reserved I can be quiet and reserved let's see uh s Christian uh Bondo says all I know is you're the goat fire that's great what's up what's up sister welcome to live um Eli cross David who was on your roster which roster you referring to Eli I'm not sure which one you you like uh basketball players soccer football alltime football team basketball what's up Ellie Rose welcome to the live I just realized guys I haven't actually done alive since for for a girlfriend who is on my roster I don't know your mom's name no [Laughter] kidding uh who's my roster honestly as you get older or as I I'll say it this way as I've gotten older I've realized more and more the person that you end up with has very little to do with their popularity or the uh or like uh or like uh like oh the steam or this one's the prettiest whatever else actually what it really is is um you're looking for someone that you match with and there's actual chemistry and uh you get along and you really want to talk to her and she really wants to talk to you it's chemistry it's continuation of conversation and one of the most unfortunate side effects of my job and my experience talking to people is that I know when they don't want to talk to me so that's fun um he it footsteps what's up Dr Tom live someone really sent another question okay I'll be right back all right someone asked what makes a girl pretty to you well I'd say that what you know what do you mean by pretty but like my mom said pretty is as pretty does and pretty will sit in listen to The Gospel so what makes a girl pretty to me someone that tries to look modest and someone that loves God and someone that is wise and nice and straightforward honest sincere uh is um participates in church you know that's the uh that's the thing that makes them pretty I guess is the way that they are you guys in the comments very funny mom to two of the best what's up sister welcome to it uh Eli cross Daddy D is it [Laughter] J very fun um but conversations you want to have them as you get older you realize it's not a game of trying to find someone you to like you you find someone that you both like each other what's up Anna my sister welcome live I had a um birthday the other day I turned 20 23 which is great um I'm old now and by God's grace Anna Anna um my sister Anna and my brother-in-law Alex took me to a uh a a concert with shason crab and the people that wrote hi cutie what's up beautiful Anna thank you for that I appreciate it I got to watch Jason Krab sing and art a world class world class Orchestra as well as um the people who wrote like you saw in the picture there a bunch of likes um the picture of the guy that wrote we are standing on Holy Ground and In The Presence of Jehovah I got to talk to him it was super cool and uh it was truly beautiful experience I want to go to more concerts now I basically cried half the time and it was it was awesome I'm a very logical person but I'm also very emotional too let's see it was it was pretty cool see Eli cross David did you use any pickup lines during Camp well I tried to reflect Jesus in the best way that I could and that attracts certain kinds of people and it doesn't attract other kinds of people actually I did use the Icebreaker joke with someone but she was talking to someone so there's nothing I can do about that uh Anna Marie sanas uh joy that is my sister my my 31-year-old [Laughter] sister congratulations you played [Laughter] yourself oh that's fun that's my sister yeah she's awesome no you're fine Joy no no no you're not fine I'll be offended for the rest of my life very cool very good it was very fun so conversations but yeah what's up brother Andrew Glover welcome to the live the ratings have gone [Laughter] up oh man that's awesome I got to see uh Jason Krab and some others for my birthday so that was cool was really neat you know it's a different thing you know they short hair earrings and pants but they still when they sing anointing still comes from that and it was it was pretty neat I really enjoyed it it's really nice I want to go to more concerts good good ones cuz it's really a neat experience let's see Mariah Shelly says how was camp Camp was great it was a lot of fun it very relaxing I uh got to talk to people that wash lives and I uh also uh honestly guys if you're not able to what however you're feeling at a camp find a group of kids and hang out with them and tell and tell dumb jokes and the LA laugh like I I found a group with a bunch of guys probably 16 17 15y old guys and told a bunch of dumb jokes did my G impression and they loved it they ate it up man it was awesome and then I bought them all Cokes it was it was some of the most fun i' had at all game just tell stupid jokes buy them drinks and they love you tell a dumb joke uh feminism there you go oh man I didn't know whether inur was the social type from me La Cross interesting it was fun it was super cool oh I played chess too against Alexander Benton and one so awesome it was super cool I really enjoyed that it was with World War II chess so all the pieces were all changed and weird so it was harder to do but it was it was fun if anyone wants to join by the way anybody's more than welcome to it' be cool to continue speaking conversation guys conversations are fun now one of the ideas I did pass to people for the uh Beth Camp um was to have every lunchtime people aren't allowed to just go to their social groups every single meal and they maybe will have people all from different youth groups have some introverts in there some extroverts and uh have cards to ask people questions to actually start conversation with people that are in the youth group and one of the reasons why is this in the entire Camp I have many people approach me and say hi nice to see you David God bless you but I didn't have anyone wanting to hang out with me every time I wanted to hang out or do anything I had to go seek it out myself which is fine I'm 23 and I Am Naturally very assertive and that's that's all fine um but I think it'd be interesting if every every lunch every lunch uh meal that they have that they would have people say hey you guys can't all just sit in your groups all the time cuz I have people that I would know but their tables would be filled because they already got the they already got um their their groups and I can't try to sit with them and then maybe you find a group but they're also used to each other and they don't include you in conversation um and that's that's fine no one did anything wrong uh it's it's all it's all good I I think though if they would add like hey uh you guys can't sit with your own youth groups on at lunchtime you have to we're going to organize it to wherever s in the tables from a different place and we're going to give you cards to ask each other and and start some conversations off of that because yeah let's see um Eli cross dang this just go deep this is about conversation I remember conversation one of these articles said that there's different levels of a conversation Small Talk fact disclosure Common Ground personal feelings another one of the final ones was transparencies when you are honest one of another one of the other ones is vulnerability when you say something that's going on in your mind that you wouldn't just say to anybody we're like me or I I'll say anything that's fine zoan Watkins right yeah let's see um Li Champion maybe some people didn't know how to approach you since you have a bolder personality H interesting maybe some people didn't know how to approach you since you have a boulder personality um I wouldn't really say that or maybe maybe that's true if that's true I it's kind of s because I want to be a people have no idea how much of a support I can be if they talk to me I have talked many people out of suicide depression and bunch of other stuff and I try to be a friend best that I can but that's fine it's all good um jvon says D David people don't hang with me either Eli cross says I'll hang out with you it's all good it's all it's all good maybe some people didn't know how to approach you since you have a bolder personality but Andrew Andrew brother Andrew Glover says is that fact disclosure maybe Bolder personal it well I mean I I try to adapt with everything that I uh I do um what ended up happening though is the reason why I say they should have it organized where you sit with someone that's not part of your group and in lunch service is because every single meal I had I set with someone else all of them and um which is fine I'm not offended it was actually a lot of fun you know I focus more on you just having fun but it's uh it was it was certainly interesting and the reason why I'm saying that they should do that is because yes I could have just asserted myself into conversations that's what I do and I tried to do that some and I tried and people did not want to and that's fine and uh but other people aren't like me they don't they're not extroverts they're introverts they don't have a a a ton of confidence they don't call like today I called I I did 144 cold calls today they don't do that every day and I think that that would be neat for people that are from a uh somewhere without a youth group to be able to start those conversations because all you need is just to start one and then you can continue and just have fun from there but it was cool I believe that some as I've gotten older and as God by God's grace God is I'm not a real popular preacher or something like that but I believe that God uses me and sometimes at camps instead of me being preached to which I am being preached to a lot of these camps I'm also ministering to people and helping I may be in a certain place to prevent something bad from happening happening in a second I may say something to encourage someone or whatever else you never know um I know there are several times where I remember one time my brother uh Andrew Glover was preaching at uh byc and he was saying Satan will talk to you whether you raise your hand or whether you don't whether you uh say Amen whether you don't so then that inspired me to where whenever I'm standing up there I always sit at the front row because there's nowh else I'd rather sit I want to be as close to the action as possible and encourage the preacher as much as I can um so I uh and one of the ways you can notice that is in really quiet times you may notice me saying amen come on because the hard one of the hardest points for a preacher is really quiet times so brother Andrew Glover at byc he was saying you know whether you say am men or you you whether you don't Satan's going to be against you so when someone's you know alone being prayed for and they get prayed for by people then people are gone but they're still there and I have a thought maybe I should pray for them then I have a thought maybe I shouldn't I think well what Spirit would have me not go pray for someone then I do and then other times I'll be led maybe to speak louder when I'm praying for them maybe quieter just depending um let's see Lily Champion says I think the Lord brings the right people into your life when it's time sometimes you may have to step out as an older youth maybe I mean I mean maybe it's just time it was time for me to just wait I I don't mind see Champion Andrew Glover yes since he's so extroverted yeah I could see that let me I have a couple more questions I'll be right back really stupid questions come through like gold guys uh someone asked what's the youngest girl you had marry if it was Gods well whatever God want that's a really stupid question um and someone else asked how are you doing I'm great what's up Jesse sacker welcome to the live how are you doing hope you're doing great doing great here by God's grace doing awesome doing very well but yeah Camp was one I got to do honestly guys I got to go go-karting which was awesome got to do a hike which was really annoying it was mostly uphill which was really hard there's nothing harder than hiking with a bunch of people really skinny let's see Jesse sacker howdy David hope you are as good as well I hope you are good as well yes I am today I actually worked uh 10: to 99: because I'm leaving early tomorrow to go to brother Mark or brother Joe Green's uh banquet so I today I worked from 10: in the morning until about 9:00 at night so it was fun are you going to beneath the treat from Dr Tom yes I am Lord willing it'll be great um J scker those co-arts kept jamming up though yeah they were some they were also really fun it's one of the one of the ideas I had for Camp 2 is they need to get a couple adults in the go-kart line for two reasons regulate the line no skipping number two regulate the distance between people because guys and girls are way too close to each other in that line I because people be you know crying because people skipped in front of them at the last second and people that aren't assertive won't skip in line cuz they want to be proper and nice and other people that are just assertive will do that it's one thing in a you know a a lunch line but a go- carding you know it's just weird but that's fine they'll they'll do stuff just joking around like okay cool wonderful it's all good all fun I got another question I already got that one very cool so yeah guys different levels of conversations any questions you guys have please feel free to submit them there's well I'd say just from my own knowledge there's different levels of conversations so there's there's Small Talk there's uh let's see uh Jason sacker is Joe Adams preaching the youth banquet first time I had heard him speak at our church on Wednesday and it was excellent yes he is preaching at the banquet which I'm really looking forward to because I heard him preach it the first time in person um at the banquet at Brother Joseph hams in March of this year and it was amazing it was really good he kept on teasing me which was awesome I mean I told him I'm happy to serve as a bad example anytime but he was really neat because he said um he said what it was really strange cuz like out of the blue almost he said what girl would match the character of David Ken or what what what character and a gr match the character of David Ken something like that it was it was neat and he didn't even know me I'd never had a conversation with him so it was pretty pretty I don't see why not I don't see why all right and there's nobody fall about to not hanging out with people on Camp you know when I go to byc I've got Benjamin Browning Paul Browning uh and many others that I've been going to Camp with for over a decade and I know them very well so it's all good don't worry about that El cross says the The Joe is one my favorite people that man help me a lot growing up oh that's awesome all right Thomas I'm trying to add you if it would just work that would be the that would be glorious that would be beautiful I'm pressing accept over and over again I can guarantee it's not a problem on my end dad wants to join your live oh okay cool that'd be awesome um is it g to work is it not going to work what I'm pressing it says he's not to join try try leaving and then rejoining maybe leaving and then rejoining yes my brother very we go what's up brother greetings Brother David I'm riding I'm riding down the road in the truck here with Thomas and he was like Hey Brother David's on would you like to join him I said absolutely cool thank you for joining hey last time we were together we were eating a burrito so that was that was hon one of my favorite parts of the whole weekend it was it was awesome hey that was an honor to go with you I ended up having to go back to Camp after that but it was all right we finding roads are fun yeah my wife forgot some things and then one of a one of our friends forgot some medication for their children so the Lord worked it out we needed to go back either way so yeah it's good to see you though everybody well yeah everybody's fine by God's grace uh actually no what I used to say uh yeah everybody F but no actually getting back from Camp uh Ruth was sick and Thomas was sick a little bit and Joshua my brother was sick then by God's grace I wasn't sick I think because they lost their voice and Sayang so much so high that she lost her voice um which made her throat real weak and uh maybe vulnerable to being sick but I just took a bunch of cough drops so I don't lose my voice at camps by God's grace because cough drops and water yeah hey I see brother Andrew Glover sending greetings there's a lot of people uh on the feed here so greetings to all you precious Brethren out there and sisters so it's the cross formula just put a cross on the live and bunch of people I wish I could share with you the uh the uh post someone made I have to send it I don't know Thomas is way more technos savvy than me but some of the kids uh a brother from brother Ron Spencer's put together this funny little uh slideshow of me me at Camp is pretty good I wish I could share it but I'll send it I'll send it to Andrew Glover maybe he knows how to how to share it with you maybe next year if we have another South Carolina Camp we'll put it on the on the slideshow at camp but it's good to be here brother we've been at the church tonight they had a prayer service and I actually I ended up well I didn't really work late but I came home because we're having a fall festival I came home and did some bushhoging and stuff trying to clean up my yard before the church comes out she's my real way of living you know so I had to clean the clean clean the yard up mow the grass but oh fine I missed the prayer service forgive me oh sin Thomas Thomas and Nathaniel represented me well I hope uh maybe Thomas but not anel I'm sorry whoa whoa whoa he's in the back seat but yeah we sure enjoyed camp we had we had a good time lord really yeah it was awesome yeah that was that was a good good camp for sure we had super hey I only call three four boys sneaking out I don't want to call any names but people were sneaking out bro they made it really clear not to sneak out it's not I know you know what it was funny I mean they just happened to be I was walking in the dorm and they were walking out the back door as I was walking in the front door and I followed him right I followed him right outside I'm like they were so they were so humiliated they started laughing I said y'all think this is funny I was like go to bed but they got they got busted so bad what did you guys make them do I didn't I didn't didn't report him I granted him Mercy now well that's good you could have made him jump in the pool the sheat for do not C and that way next year somebody else will get their spot so they have to you know they have to I can't hardly hear you you're you're pixelated I said there has to be some repercussions wrong doing so I'll have them taken off of the roster next year I do not oh boy I see yeah do not do not call back type deal you know yeah we uh we had some fun I camp to it was good hold on yeah man I tell you that I could have made some money selling the password the wife password that was the hit this year could been yeah the M for Camp what's the password or what's the what's the Wii that's what it was oh cool we'll have to uh I work for an IT company we'll have to uh get them to hack into it next year wait a minute the topic tonight is conversations ask any questions you would like oh is that your topic for tonight yeah and a bunch of people to started uh you know participating so it's blended into what it is now which is great hey glad I can be here you know I'm scared to answer any question might be asked to me though I don't know if I would put my name out there with this but hold on see I'm trying to read what's going on let's see Jesse sacker referring to the Wi-Fi password says the fact that I said that and you said it immediately after is insane because he said if we're talking Camp Mischief uh that wife Pastor kept leaking out and you had these kids running around trying to sell it and then right after he commented that you said what the pass was W I didn't s anybody one one one sister did I thought she was pretty smart I 40 bucks it it's was pretty good to sell the password $40 someone paid $40 for the password yeah $40 he only got it for an hour and he only got it for hour I think she gave him his money back cuz they they they changed the password like an hour after he got it so was a bad investment yeah unless he's like you know day trading or something yeah I don't know did did you get the Sur did you get the survey I I did yeah yeah I did it's good to F out yeah was fun camp this one you're very pixelated you look like a an 80s VCR or something yeah well I'm R down the road dark hold on now people turn my light on my phone to light up the atmosphere I'm trying to uh trying to read these uh conversations here hey there's a lot of people joining on here this is great yeah hey Tomas is driving T you hear a loud crash and my face looks like the fact as you were saying that you cut out for like five seconds is perfect don't come back just pray for it at least Nathaniel's not driving the back seat whoa Thomas down the road Thomas is trying to watch the and that hold on you look B with the uh with the pixelation the way it is say again I'm sorry pixelation is so massive that you look bald oh hold on I got hair got got a big forehead hey there's sister sister an Martin just joined great pre hey Joshua buts just joined wow how many people are actually on here brother Dave at this point 11 hold on I know how to look hold on top right oh 12 people 13 this is great oh wait there's the police Thomas hold on faster faster should we pull over and see if I can get the police on the live uh see if I can get him on the live chat yeah you should definitely ask him about police brutality or something something easy to over you guys are really breaking up can't hear you you just pixelated uh brother Daniel I can't really hear you it's frozen now what's up Rachel welcome to live what's up Emma Coan welcome to live your audio real fine but you're Frozen there we go now now you came back I'm coming back my brother I've just been in a valley hey it's Daniel SCH welcome to live Daniel Thomas is gonna get me killed trying to get us back to a signal slow down Thomas it's not worth it well if you're lucky they have a funeral for three brothers from Josh vnet Church who were on the day to Shane's live chat that killed I shouldn't joke about it but reality it was alive to die for alive wait you could say a live to die right live and live is spelled the same way correct uh yeah yeah so could be said either way way now me me and my wife were headed home one night and I come up to a license check and I had an expired tag and I was like oh my goodness I was like they're going to bust me cuz it was like 6 months out and my wife was right behind me I'm like oh I'm gonna get two tickets because she's right behind me so they they go back look at my tag and the police comes back up they're like sir do you know your Tag's expired I was like yes I know it's expired they're like you know it's like eight months expired I said yes I know it's eight months expired and they're like is there any reason you haven't got it inspected I was like well the ticket's cheaper than the taxes so then they're like you need to pull over so I pull over in this parking lot and I was like oh my goodness Crystal's tags expired too well she gets up to the police officer and they're like ma'am you can go on through this guy over here we got to talk to him he's got some issues and they let her go they let her go I was like then when she drove off I was like Hey Y'all let my wife go her tag was expired too you told me that like you losers but then I realized I'd have got the ticket for hers too so had to pay it all Lord let me drive what did you do what wrong I didn't do anything you can't drive I literally didn't do why was I bumping and this boy I don't so anyway hold on hey we're up to 15 people hold on let's see here you hey wait let's see who El was on here Dave I'm trying to see I'm not very good at this all right let's see you're fine people on here are sister Rachel on here praise the Lord sister Anar this is great sister Hattie my short memes to uh who's the squiggly Mason oh it's Mariah Marshall's uh hey my wife is on here praise the Lord uh sister R Sanger Jesse some of these people I don't know what JJ Selenas I thought that was a famous singer oh wait that's Selena Gomez never mind yeah yeah I right hold on let's see here let me see if I can wave at some people wait I'm on Thomas's phone they might think Thomas is W better be careful here see Rachel says not the short jokes David yeah they're they're in short supply so it's not much I can do run out pretty fast oh my good I asked her if she uh if her if you can see her feet on a driver's license picture David weird wow ask her if she uh if she can do her back flips underneath her bed wow man that's pretty bad man it's pretty bad hey wait sister Barrett on here praise the Lord greetings sister Barrett let me see if I can wave at her hey wait I waved at everybody how I see that El cross says how do you know Seline Dion David oh David that's question for you precious brother you're not supposed to know these ungodly artists EV just tell on the radio a really catchy name let's see I have no idea honestly I Googled her I even recognize her isn't she is she K to Dion Sanders uh no black she's white oh maybe distantly or something well if they go far enough back they could be distant Ken all right we're all from the same father and mother wait a minute let's see here who said hey Ka greetings hey have y'all ever met Sister Crystal cross she's a beautiful [Laughter] sister she's a great wife name John booty what John deoi de sister Teresa Huffman's following is she on here greetings precious sister she goes to our church G's on there haty Ruth say hey to gab gab who's gab g i I don't know him do what have no idea well brother Dave maybe we should open the floor for some questions for me you it's still uh still always open any questions let's see let not bring up let's not bring up the killing of Tim Brit's dog again that been getting a lot of question really oh goodness that's funny okay would you rather uh would you rather gain 100 pounds of fat or lose 15 in of height either condition would be permanent what was that would I rather what okay you can't go back with this answer so would you rather gain 100 pounds of permanent fat or would you rather lose 15 inches of your height permanently oh man probably I'm going to say lose 15 inches of my height whoa then I'd be shorter than my wife I would only be 5 foot tall oh wait can I lose the pound the question rest oh you can't it's permanent though permanent oh yeah that be the weight would be permanent you had can you lose had before can I that don't make any sense she said you can't lose that 100 pound where would I lose another 100 pounds you gain 100 pounds yeah but they're saying can I lose 100 pounds of my original weight I'm like oh you die yeah let get really he you weigh 15 I mean if I weigh if I lost 100 pounds of my original weight I'd be down to 100 pounds right now right weigh could lose only problem is I would be way shorter than my wife and that would not be good but yeah well if I 100 pound fatter I don't even know that I could kiss my wife I don't know I could you know I don't know I could get T how brother two oh right I just I'm I'm on a weight loss challenge right now I'm in a weight loss challenge so I'm down to 190 I'm down to I'm down to 191 oh man then you'd be uh you probably get diabetes if you yeah I was up to two I think I was up to about 203 or something 204 I don't know I don't know the official way but I'm what's up Brad very serious questions we're asking would you rather gain 100 pounds of fat or lose 15 inches of height permanently uh let's see if I lost 15 15 inches I'd be I would be uh 4 foot 4 foot n maybe that'd be close to Rachel's CL that's taller than Rachel taller than us yeah Rachel's 5 nothing you know when I saw Rachel at the uh at the camp Ruth asked me how tall is that girl I bet she I said I bet she's 5 foot nothing and that's what she said she was 5 foot nothing Rachel's good she's a good sister yeah you really got to hand it to her because she usually can't reach it yeah cuz you us can't hand it to her is that what she wow you got to hand it to her because she usually can't reach it oh my God I'm not laughing at him by the way sisters wow well I've successfully been brought home in one piece oh I made thank goodness well that's very impr goodness my son cannot drive I've learned that man Lord have mercy hey we got sister uh brother sea Marts preaching her church this weekend so sister an will be here and her family so we're looking looking forward to that that's great yeah hey you should come down brother Dave app I've got uh brother Joe Green's banquet this weekend otherwise I would sorry you're gonna be for you're gonna be down for that yeah I'll be in Ruth North Carolina oh you won't be too far away then that's guys want to get together for supper or something like that one of these days just let me know brother that sounds good I'd love to break bread with you I don't know for sure um that sounds pretty honestly that sounds pretty tragic like breaking bread last time someone officially broke bread you know they got betrayed and they died you know I don't want want to die anytime soon forgot about that let's let's break a burrito together I'm not washing your feet listen don't don't don't don't say what you will and won't you never know hey this bad this guy used to argue with me all the time about you know uh three gods and everything so we'd go back and forth back and forth finally one day he just couldn't take it he was getting upset with me and I said well you know what I said the end result I said when we get to the other side I said we'll see who's washing whose feet and he never forgot that's how and he still tells me that today we'll see who's washing who feet on the other side but anyway that's fun well looks like looks like you've got plenty of good good folks on here to listen hey wait brother Solomon Huffman joined precious brother uh let's see if he's still here he's not here anymore w wow I can't believe he hung up on us brother I mean all let's see here I'm looking at all the uh Eli cross said didn't catch me El that was like 20 minutes ago yeah wow Eli cross is too he was too busy getting beat up on by them poor kids whipping them in wrestling I heard about that I heard he lost a wrestling match to uh some poor little yeah it was kind of sad he took it pretty hard I think well and then uh what's that girl's name she lost a volleyball game and she was really upset she said it was Thomas's fault too well either way I don't know well I better go in here and go to bed look like Day come see us if you come to North Carolina you won't be too far away all right cool sounds fun sister Joy Rob on here it looks like she said hi brother Dan it's good to see her here cool I would take time and I need to tell y'all a good story one night but I have to I have to save that for I have to think up good one hey anytime brother Dave it was honor to have y'all up over the weekend go eat with you it's honor to be with you you guys thank you just take care Lord bless we'll see you soon God bless you see you David hey what's up God bless doing good yeah I'm good I'm live live oh yeah this is from your phone isn't it oh cool good stuff y are you going to bed too or what are you doing yeah I gotta get up and work in the morning so I'm going to bed all right cool see you later Thomas see you Brother David God bless you bye God bless you bye that was fun super nice I don't feel worthy at all to say it was an honor to have me anything like that but it's super cool talking to him it's always funny talking to Thomas cross since my little brother's named Thomas um so like whenever I talk I talk to on the phone a while back and it's like hey if I say Thomas to you like I've known you for 20 years it's because I have a little brother named Thomas that's fun it's always fun any questions guys I'm still here I'm still full of energy I got to work tomorrow but I today I worked uh 10: to 9 so I don't need to uh work that much tomorrow I think I'll work to like 10 to 2 or 9 to one or something like that wouldn't be hard won't be hard at all so be great Lord willing um but until there's more questions in the chat I'll just go through uh the levels of conversation so from what this article says is uh in every conversation whether you're aware of it or not there are four distinct levels there's Small Talk Talk fact disclosure Common Ground personal feelings you see that in every conversation I think this pretty cool and interesting thing who do I still have with me by the way John Thomas Caitlyn Ethan Watkins Jenna Michael Cinnabon uh Ann Martin Isaac Sanger kayy Davis Crystal cross with up Sister Katie Oglesby hey congratulations on your volleyball championship by the way Teresa hubman and JJ Selena very cool um let's see from James if you could be a monkey what type would you be uh a gorilla man who definitely definitely a gorilla that would be exactly what I would be I I don't think it'd be anything else other than a gorilla that would be the best let's see here there's another article that says let's see thanks La yeah you guys are great it's always awesome to succeed in something to do very well set out a goal accomplished it it's really good um any questions you guys have please ask them the the topic is conversations and any realm of conversation can be so any questions are fine honestly I'm not I'm not biased towards against or any anything like that this is uh what do you mean by number of 43 after all and that causes me to uh have a something I like to call subconscious confidence so it's it's a confidence you built up like when you have an emergency fund or you have 10 grand or you you say you have a sixpack or whatever you know you have subconscious confidence like Joseph cockman when I play in pingpong he's got subconscious confidence because he PR plays all the time what's up Joseph Co we didn't get to play but we needed to I played Eli cross twice and one it's beautiful um but we got to play some it'll be pretty cool have to be a it'll be um I don't know practice and talent versus not practicing a lot B talent I guess I don't know but it's fun it's super cool you have to bring your paddle by the way if you want uh Joe to uh get a better paddle let me know mine cost her own 180 bucks 200 bucks but it's really really definitely worth it super cool let's see any questions you guys have please please please submit them um so someone says here today I want to zoom in on a specific theme which is the different levels of conversation you can differentiate three main levels of conversations number one is transactional so you tell and ask which is basically an exchange of information intention is to inform to confer what you already know you listen to you listen to protect the trust is low you don't trust the person you're talking to so you're keeping a lot from them with a healthy mindset we exchange information we validate what we know but with an unhealthy mindset or if we are unaware we might fall into the tell cell yell syndrome with a tendency to tell more than to listen or to ask which is pretty interesting honestly um so you are let's see positional this is interesting level two is positional Advocate and inquire where we exchange power to convince the intention is to defend what we know we listen to accept or reject the trust is conditional with a healthy mindset There's an opportunity for influence and to seek win-win solution win-win Solutions but with an unhealthy mindset of or lack of awareness we might fall into what is called addicted to being right with an overuse of telling and asking questions only to persuade we are trying to convince the other person we are right and we are and are not open to any other point of view and let be honest this happens very frequently which is actually pretty neat to to to look at some people are addicted to being right um let's see another number three is transformationally or transformational share and discover where we exchange energy and co-create the intention is to discover what we don't know we listen to connect the trust is high with the healthy mindset we hold the space to explore Uncharted Territory we ask questions for which we have no answer if we don't pay attention though the pitfall is in action and more ideation than execution in every level it says there is a release of oxytocin a bonding hormone where when we are in healthy conversations and mindset and release of cortisol the stress hormone when we fall into the downside of it for instance an addicted being right Behavior triggers high level of the stress hormone and the level three is the one that enables the release of the highest level o of oxytocin which will create the bonds and the trust that will move the team or company forward and I think one of the things that causes that is being vulnerable with someone talking to them and being willing to be to be vulnerable like when I talked about how really at the whole Camp no one really approached me waned to spend time with me or significant amount of time with me anytime I wanted to spend time with people I had to go search about myself which is fine um there wasn't many people there sort of adults that I've known for a long time that I trust or that trust me I guess or they know me very well um which is okay I'm not offended or anything like that um but it was it was uh it was interesting and I could take the person I could take it different ways which is fine but I like the things where it says well if you're addicted to being right versus trying to find the truth I saw meeme today that said it's it's better to um try to seek the truth of the issue rather than to prove the other person wrong that's what what we all want to try and do anyway you can't always convince you can't always talk to someone tell them they're wrong all the time you're not going to really get anywhere with that it says the these distinctions are incredibly powerful when it comes to improving communication skills in a team uh that's all boring me go to the next one here there's something I wrote down there's also a difference in conversation depending on who is the person you're talking to or if they're alone that's a big instance so if the way to understand that I can pretty clearly put out is imagine you're talking to a girl and her D dad is always there on speaker phone he can chime in anytime but he never does he's there but you talk now imagine if the girl's mom is there and she's on speaker phone but she chimes in a lot you're not going to connect with the girl you may have conversations and exchange information but you really aren't going to connect because then when you get in person and you actually talk to that person one onone then that's actual real connection and you don't have to be in a relationship to have that in any friendship you need to have that there's different levels that's why yes it is good to hang out in groups and yes it's good to talk in groups but there needs to come a time where you talk to a person and it's just you and that person even in like even at a camp not to go pair off somewhere and be alone by yourselves but be in the sight of other people but be talking oneon-one you need that otherwise it's not connection it's uh it's the uh game of a group which you can play but it's not the same as real you know real connection like yes I could have just walked up they will ask everyone about themselves ask what you do is you ask questions about people themselves and you ask leading questions you ask them things about themselves you laugh at everything they say and you continue the conversation that just takes a ton of work and it takes a ton of time and it takes a ton of uh of uh energy out of you when the unfortunate uh thing that happens to me is that when I try to do that or when I try to approach people I I know when they don't want to talk to me even when I shake someone hand like for instance I'll tell you about two different people that I shook hands with at Camp one person like it was a girl so with guys we shake hands it's very rare that a guy has a limp hand when you shake hands there's two girls no I don't have feelings treat them I don't know them but there's two of them one of them when I shook her hand she gripped my hand she shook my hand the other one just put her hand out there and didn't say a thing and everything you do all of communication I think it's like what is it like 80% is non-verbal so a large a large part of communication is done and said without that's AP part from the actual words so when I'm talking about things the way that I say things the movement of my hands the my eye contact the look on my face the tonality of my voice my posture everything screams either you want to talk to someone or you don't I was sitting at a table with a group of friends there was a girl to my left that I was maybe wanting to start a conversation with not because I like her or anything but because it's nice to have conversations and how did I know she didn't want to talk to me it's because I was sitting here like this and she was sitting next to me right here and she had her entire body pointed this way she wasn't sitting normally she turned in her seat when I sat next to her because it was the only space available she turned in her seat this way towards her friend so she didn't say anything but subconsciously and uh in the meta conversation the conversation that goes on without words is I don't want to talk to you because if you do then you you face them like to say if a girl likes a guy she will Point her feet at them I notice these things people will say when I go to camp like they'll see that I may be quiet I'm very observational I went through a lot of trauma when I was younger and my job is to know whether or not someone really wants to continue in a conversation I know that because I I literally made 144 cold calls today I've literally talked to over a 100,000 different people and most and over 100,000 of those were in person it's only recently it's been virtual so when you talk to people you can usually know whether they really want to talk to you or not because if someone really wants to talk to you they won't be busy or all busy all the time they can't talk they will make time because people make time for what they want to make time for so it's harder for me in person sometimes that can't it's like yes I'm assertive and yes oh just be friendly well there's that but a lot of times people are friendly but they're also naive and they don't know when someone doesn't want to continue the conversation I do some of the time which is unfortunate which is why I spend a tremendous amount of time with uh with kids kids are awesome just bunch of 16-year old guys and it's like hey who wants a coke it was awesome and also then you get to the part where men and women interpret things differently you ask a girl if she wants to meet you for breakfast in the morning they word you want to Mar marry him and really just want to continue a conversation because there's no friends of yours that want to meet you for breakfast at the camp you never know and so communication and conversation is one of the most important things there is and if someone wants to talk to you they will talk to you if they don't they won't talk to you it's as simple as that but the Daniel wanted to join the life he wanted to tell me hey was an honor to priv having you here with us now I don't deserve that at all but um it was an honor to hear that from him it was really neat I certainly do my best I should need having a month everything you do or say is on purpose everything this is what I do for work guys my entire job is to hear someone's tonality over the phone and I know whether or not they want to talk to me and then I adjust how I speak and the tonality that I use in order to talk to them more effectively if I wanted to use a deeper tonality with you guys I would do this I can change it so you say oh David you're just overthinking it I don't think so or see for the average person yes I'm overthinking it but not for me this is just another what is today Thursday it's my whole job the very small percentages of conversations are done with words the rest of it done with body language tonality eye contact or lack thereof or like I was walking or I was with a group and if you want to talk to a girl and you walk to the general place that she is in just to comment on the weather or whatever and she finds an excuse to walk away from where you are in a group of like 10 friends she does not want to talk to you and if she's doing that because like oh if maybe she's doing that just to because she wants you to chase her I don't have time to play games I have a PS5 for that sole reason no it is not mine my brother-in-law borrowed it to me CU he's traveling you know so I mean there's some games and there's some push and Pa there's all those different things but but you know if you want to have a straightforward real conversation have a straightforward real conversation which is fine there's nothing wrong with that that coke guys real conversations so like in groups yes you can have conversations but that isn't VI for long term you have to have oneon-one connection you have to it is vital you have to otherwise you don't have a relationship with a girl if if you ever if you talk to a girl how do you know about this I've exper I've experienced in my life unfortunately for some reason every time I try to talk to somebody they're the most strict parents ever if you talk to someone and their parents are always there which is fine go according to the rules but if their mom is right there always and they start to actually try to participate in the conversation you're not actually getting know the girl you're getting know the version of the girl that she is when her mom is glued to her or when her father is right there on her parents can do what they want with their kids but you need to have conversations that's why I say in person you can't just be in groups all the time you have to have one-on-one conversation that may even be in a big group or a big table and then you're one-on-one talking you're asking your questions about yourself because it may be you know many conversations going on and there may be times where oh don't pair off like no that's not what I mean because you can have you know 400 people in a room sitting at a table and then uh it's so loud that you just need to step outside and have a conversation you can step on the rocking chairs outside and there's people walking around but no one can hear what you have to say which is fine conver ations conversations and it's fun and conversations don't need to be planned out it really is a reflection of how you're really feeling sometimes you want to be quiet sometimes you really you want to talk just really just uh depends I do this for a living guys this is my literally my job is levels of conversation with people someone else said five levels of conversation level one sharing cliches what's up lilan hope welcome to live level one is sharing cliches how are you good to see you horrible weather isn't it gosh this H SL so slowing sharing cliches so you want that's be for the camp version that's oh it's really cold this morning whatever you babies I was up there with a t-shirt it was really cold the mornings Beth Youth Camp one morning one of the mornings I got a jacket because I knew it looked better but I didn't need it I really that also for one because it looked better also just in case someone needed one I'd give it to them um but I went there without a t-shirt or without it not without without a jacket one day it was was really deesing honestly but level two of conversation that this article says um is sharing information I think the car needs an oil change what are we doing for dinner tonight what time are you K are you are the kids done with piano lessons it's level two level three is sharing ideas and opinions what do you think Brett this is how I see the project moving forward let's go to the Italian place on third on third for dinner tonight level four is sharing values and feelings I really believe that raising the kids this way is important that's why I decided not to go to that Salon again to be honest I actually found that situation really hard and level five sharing truths about the relationship I'm going to B more of an effort to get home ear and help you with the kids it would help me to share my feelings more with you more if you don't get defensive when I raise an issue I reached out to an X the other day and I've been feeling guilty ever since that's hilarious look at this loser that's funny don't reach out to your ex H don't do that don't try what's up Sharon you're on live you can join now if you'd like if you want to you had mentioned that to me earlier if you'd like to that'd be cool let's see what's another one this is NBC news says how to have better conversation with people you've just met according to science interesting you say talking to new people or uh talking to new people is hard because there are so many unknowns it says we're social beings even comfortable conversations are good for our well-being someone else says what's up Hannah ween welcome to the line someone else says uh people want to get the real use so they can express the real them interesting in another study they said a group of students were asked to carry around count and keep count all social interactions over the course of their day having more social interactions led the students to report greater levels of happiness and wellbeing in terms of how much differences in personality traits by the way guys ask any questions you want while I'm doing this I don't care um affect these assertions s stor or night Andel dun and others say less than you probably think both intro extroverts and introverts are social beings they say interesting I wouldn't say say slightly true sure um they also add that people who are more introverted tend to be more worried about how conversations will go ahead of time compared with extroverts but those differences go away when people report the benefits they got out of a conversation according to what she and college colleagues found in the aforementioned psychological science paper published last year that research also looked at other personality differences besides introversion things like self-esteem and rejection sensitivity didn't matter interesting so how to actually be better talking to strangers it says be brave where we less even if it's uncomfortable be brave and just do it the person is probably going to like you more than you think and you're probably both going to enjoy it more than you think or they'll hate you more than you think doesn't say that I added that um let's see and don't be afraid to talk to someone who seems different than you it says let's see another one was uh be curious ask questions are they wearing a part of kind of clothing this no worthy are they wearing shoes that shoes that are strange um don't be afraid to go off script skip the stock question is what do you do where do you live and ask a question that'll make your conversation part person think this is engaging or start with a statement this pting really confusing whatever let's see one of the uh let's see interesting who still on here with me by the way L Robson Caitlyn Barrett Michael J Michael James Taylor Alicia F and JJ Selenas very cool very fun I suppose maybe one of the reasons people don't want have conversations with me it's because they get me all wrong they misinterpret me and what I mean and what I don't mean and whatever else it's one of the hard parts of my life and here I'm being vulnerable and transparent with you guys one of the hard parts of my life is being misinterpreted by people people thought that when I talk about Lauren deel I was saying she was the devil and that you shouldn't listen to her people thought that when I said people think that when I say that there's no difference in the hobby between fishing and watching movies that I'm saying that watching anything you want nothing will be wrong it's not what I'm saying but that's maybe one one of the reasons why the rules in life one of the rules of life is steal man some's argument which means take whatever they're saying and try to interpret back to them in the strongest form of the argument available so whatever they're saying even if you disagree with them present it back to them in a summarized way as if you were trying to prove their point for them and actually get them to be be impressed with how you repeat their point back to them that's having a conversation not taking what they say and saying oh so you're saying you should never listen to anyone who isn't the message that's not a way to have a conversation that's not honest it's not straightforward but the Bly Paul said the greatest one of the greatest Miracles he saw in his dad was that you couldn't tell the difference between a friend and an enemy when he spoke to them when he was with them I think that's pretty neat let's see there's another cool one okay I got a whole lot more on this guys and this has been a fun live I'm going to what's up Shan Harvey welcome to the live questions about conversations question about questions about talking to people whatever else I think she joined in real fast oh she's here sweet fun the live counter is all messed up sometimes all right guys I am War out I have been basically constantly doing things I worked from 10:00 to 9:00 I prepared for this live from 9: till I think 9 something and then I've been doing it until just now I'm pretty worn out so I'm going to end it here but thank you for joining everybody it was a lot of fun um gracious heavenly father thank you for the live thank you for fun stuff hopefully I said some stuff that uh helped people hopefully it was all edifying and good for people to hear I hope that people are edified by it I hopefully people don't misinterpret me be with Ruth and I as we travel to uh the banquet tomorrow hope it all just go the way you want it to be with those traveling over this weekend be with the meetings brother Shawn M and brother Josh Bennett and people to retain whatever good things they heard tonight ask in Jesus name amen all right cool guys thanks for joining it was fun