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START OF FILE: 2023-09-12 - Just friends vs Courting and more in What do you mean by 0025 with Brother Bob Black - Bob Black.txt
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SERMON DETAILS
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Date:     2023-09-12
Title:    Just friends vs Courting and more in "What do you mean by" #0025 with Brother Bob Black
Speaker:  Bob Black
Church:   What Do You Mean By
Type:     Church Service
Duration: 1h 32m
Language: English
URL:      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxgE3hFY3CE
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TRANSCRIPT
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I mean by number 25 with brother Bob black we'll be going through dating and courting and staying true to your faith in an age of lunacy with brother Bob black so it should be great Lord willing I got a new ring light what's up guys it's gonna be awesome I have brother Bob with here with us and I got a new guitar so I will um sing a song at some point yeah well everyone's there wait there we go there he is already there with Lord willing and this will just work let's see let's see it's working there we go Hey Brother David can you hear me okay yeah I can hear you how are you doing well good to be here thanks for having me thanks for coming I'm trying to get used to all of this uh Instagram I don't know it uh like a lot of the a lot of young people do so bear with me we'll do our best we'll do our best we got some awesome questions here I'm looking forward to it um I'm just uh I just I just have you pray and then we will start sounds good horsepower is oh God we just actually wanted to just bless this time together and help her to be profitable or that something will be said to help somebody as we just tell these little life anecdotes and things that we've experienced Lord and so just be with us and bless us now in your name amen amen we are here all right so for those people who do not know who is the bearded man with glasses on the bottom of the screen who is Brother Bob black so um I am uh uh let's see we're going to start I've got um four children uh many of you might know some of my kids um Zoe and Kaylee are the youngest of twins and um they were recently at byc this this past year and Zach and Esther are my oldest to Zach um got married uh this past November and Esther got married after that about six months five or six months later um and so yeah if you know Zach black or Esther you're black now she's Esther Curtis then then you know some of my kids Rizzoli and Kaylee so um yeah four four kids um four children two of them are married um what do I do for work um I'm uh I'm a software developer I actually work from home most of the time actually all the time and um that makes it a lot easier to get to uh to church nowadays I used to have to commute down into Atlanta and struggle on Wednesday nights getting up to church up through traffic I think traffic was about an hour and a half to get up to get up from uh the depths of Atlanta um so it's a lot a lot better now um I got a I got a spermine word church up in North Georgia where brother Dale has been our pastor for I think since 1975. so it's been quite some time and um I've been preaching there ministering there for um think about a decade I think I that might be might be closer to 12 years now or something like that so there you go that's me and I'm glad to be here thank you for coming on very good so anytime anybody joins uh that's awesome to hear I I have numbers above how long have I known you or how long have you known me I guess oh it's been uh we uh we know each other pretty well from the minister I mean not from the fellowship meetings that we used to have back in the day when all the different churches would get together before coven and um knowing your dad really well for several years uh your dad is just such a fantastic influence too I don't have any enough good things to say about him and uh you know if we're talking about um I guess some of the questions that the youth might have your dad is just a fantastic resource I'd love to just be able to sit and talk to him about him and he's got plenty of advice and wisdom to glean from so appreciate your family it's very cool to stand for yeah I have taken for the message and for the word yeah well it's awesome having you John and uh yeah you've done this for a long time you knew me when I was small and uh I remember talking to Zach too I used to call the 770-889-2168 when that was your home phone to talk to Santa um but uh so I actually typed in every question we have into uh chat gbt and asked it what the title should be and it said uh dating courtship and staying true to your faith in the age of a lunacy with brother Bob black so yeah yeah so um really taken off so that's amazing what you can do with it you Bard the one by Google um but it's pretty it's pretty interesting so so you have kids and uh you have daughters and one of the they we will in the preaching they'll talk about character to have things like that but what I've actually never heard preached it's just me it's just different you know how does a dad want to be approached um that's that's a great question I I think um you know a good message to listen to about not really about how a girl should die the father should be approached but just about maybe that topic is a message to Oh Brother remember called respect where he goes through um all sorts of avenues of how we should be respectful and um respectful of the people that are preaching the word to us respectful of our church and our elders and so forth and that's um really such a big problem when you don't have respect and um just kind of just kind of meditating on that thought that's really from a father's perspective when when a young man is coming to you to ask questions about how he should proceed with courtship and to talk to you about his plans for his relationship with your daughter that's I think I think the Crux of it is you're expecting to come with a respectful attitude and wanting the best for your daughter wanting the best for the relationship and wanting to you know win your favor so um that's I I think I think respect is kind of the word you know even even a young girl if she's if she's talking to a young man um she should expect to be treated with respect you know the the man would the young man would respect her virtue and respect her boundaries and respect all the people in her life um respect our time um so yeah that I I think I think that's probably a good starting point for a discussion is um you you uh you want and that's I think uh I don't know if Mike and Esther are watching but when Micah came to talk to me he was he was very respectful um he he I think he kind of won me over with uh his attitude um just just straight out of the gate was was a very respectful and um we're appreciated the way he he uh approached the situation how how exactly did he approach you did he call you text you what did he say what was that conversation like um so the the way we've kind of uh I know there's maybe a lot of debate about how uh courtship and so forth should be structured I think the way we kind of we it's been some growing pains and stuff as we try to figure things out but the way we I kind of look at it is is I like my daughter's just going to start all as friends and you know where you can Fellowship as as um in in a friend group you know you're you're talking online maybe with a group of people and you you get together um at camps and whatnot and you're just all everybody's friends and that if that evolves into the into the courtship where you're okay you're interested in singling this person out to make a life together and to really get to know them together with a purpose in mind that you're maybe one day going to marry them then that's to I mean to me that that that's when you really um you need to have a conversation with the father and before you start making phone calls and that sort of thing um but the friend the Friendship part of it you know and they they were kind of uh I knew they were um um you know friends with one another and so forth and and uh you know uh I'm maybe sharing a you know you know they they uh I'm trying to frame when I say uh uh with discretion but um I mean I Micah had a Mike had a great reputation so um a lot of people we knew um knew Michael well Zach knew him well and um and that's exactly what you want you want you want a young man is uh talking to uh your daughter you you want a good reputation from uh other ministers other people that you know and um if there's either Red Flags uh call it out then but you know when he when he uh when he finally had that conversation uh we had all that background that we knew um we knew who knew him and his reputation had preceded him and I was kind of prepared um so yeah that's that's kind of how I went okay when you say red flags what would those look like exactly um let's see let's think about that um I think I think the biggest red flag uh I mean one red flag would be a lack of respect um and then the biggest red flag would be you know you won't obviously someone that has to uh if you don't have a relationship with God that's a big red flag and of course what that means is the things that you're really looking for um and you know this goes for anybody that the Father the daughter anybody is the young man going to church does he read his Bible um uh is he does he shy away from talking about scripture um but you know you you sit down with some people on the couch and start talking about scripture and and it you know it's an obvious red flag that they just don't really want to be in the room with you and don't want to talk about the new birth or um don't have a testimony at least some something that um that they've been meditating on or some life experience um that they could share I I think that's kind of a big red flag um there's there's also a lot of other things that you can look for um just as as you go through life that um you know it's it's a red flag if if a young man or the young girl is trying to manipulate the other into loving them um that's maybe something to talk about too I I think it's a real big red flag when somebody's trying to um to coerce the other person you know I'm gonna I'm gonna hurt myself if you don't love me I'm gonna harm myself um or or trying to use um tactics like uh um bringing up you know how how little God they are um that I'm letting I know I'm LED of God and if you don't love me you're you're you're not following the will of God that sort of thing those are those are potential red flags as well because the relationship should be one that's not worth no one's getting coerced into doing anything it should be something where both parties are have an equal interest so um yeah that's I kind of talked a while on that but I hope that was helpful yeah I mean how how do you as a dad like in that conversation how would you differentiate or tell because a lot of guys will try to fake that how would you tell if they're really sincere versus just faking it in these things um if if they're really sincere um as far as like uh well I I think that that um you so all those factors together I think kind of blend together um you're you want to hear a good testimony from friends and the people that they've been uh that they know like people from their Church um if your family members know them well all of those things add up and then if they're respectful um and and uh or communicate clearly what their intentions are with your daughter and all the all those things kind of add up together to to make a nice a nice picture like it did with Monica that um I feel comfortable with them talking to my daughter okay so one specific thing that I go into and that's all makes a ton of sense is phone calls because like for instance and I do phone calls as just friends but to do voice messages back and forth what's your opinion on like that voice messages videos back and forth but not live on the phone is there a difference are they different from each other do you not want them doing certain things like that unless they talk to you first or even if they're just friends or whatever you know that that's a good question and um that's one area where maybe I I uh did not have it um completely ironed out the way that maybe some other people from different other different churches might have a better understanding about our approach those things I I really what we did is um when uh at that Corporation phase you know I'm interested in your daughter then um we gave them you know time to speak on the phone and um you know honestly it's it it if you if you try to monitor that it is it is very difficult so you know I don't I I'd be really interested to hear other people's opinions on how to approach that um if there's a better way to um to to uh to guide that or limit that in some way I know I've heard of other other people limiting the time down to like 30 minutes a week um on the phone and uh you know things like that I just I just did not find practical so um we I think one one thing that's extremely helpful is that um a father has to have or should have as good of a relationship as he can with his daughters because if his daughters respect him that will make everything so much easier if your daughters don't respect you then they'll you know let's let's be honest uh they'll they will go around your back sneak around their kids will find out you know I'm talking to young people yeah young people are going to find out a way to do things I I know people that work in the school districts and things and they try to put limits on what is children in the school district districts can do on their computers and young people are going to find a way around limitations so it is absolutely imperative for fathers to have a good relationship with their daughters so that their daughters will respect them and have a good um and share things about whether relationship uh what's happening in their relationship what their thoughts are where things are going in life um and that that that so that that really helps and um I I think in most cases it you know it's it's pretty easy for adults and fathers to have have a good relationship it's kind of on how that works sometimes sometimes the sons have a kind of a more close relationship with the mom and the daughters more with the father but um maybe that's not the case in all all family situations but um sometimes it kind of works out that way yeah yeah right it just depends depends I mean I uh I believe it the question is more of a uh a different way of looking at it because what I've noticed in my life experience is that you know for instance one time I was told yeah you can talk to her 10 minutes once every two weeks on speakerphone with her mom and dad there after a year and a half minutes and work it just didn't work but that wasn't the disease the disease like what you're saying is more of a relationship that's what I've noticed is not it's not necessarily about that it's more about it would you say it's more about the uh the relationship the girl has with her father because I feel like if he has a great relationship with them she can talk to him and say yeah I really like this guy and I want to talk to him and then you can figure out a uh a schedule of speaking from there I guess yeah absolutely but you know I know different families have different ways of approaching things and that's why it's difficult almost first a lot of these questions to really have a rule book that you can apply in every case because there's different personalities different family family Dynamics um and in each the mother and father of each family they they know their children better than others and and they might set different rules based on just how they know their their young people and their family are so yeah I that uh that ties into a question I have later on in this is how would a message guy because you said they have there's respect and that having for what I'm hearing if you have respect it just ties into everything else and you have your life together and you have a church you go to and a good reputation let's say you have a you go to church you have great reputation you have great respect but you uh say Dad says yeah each relationship is different but you can't um get the girl's father to be straight with you to give you a definitive straight answer on something and to uh you know level with you what would your advice be for the guy then foreign to be level so I I assume you're saying like if you want to if you want to have a relationship with his daughter and he just won't be straight up with you about that yeah um yeah yeah that's that's a good um you definitely you definitely want the father's approval uh you know I've I've kind of seen you know just different different cases that I've seen looking back uh um where you know you'd see a young man try to kind of go around and like get that attitude where he's just going it really stems from respect again where he's he's just trying to go around uh the normal Channel and just kind of come swoop in and snatch the dollar away and that just that's going to create problems all around if you don't um get the father's approval and and uh you know make sure that that everyone's kind of happy with what you're doing and that your intentions are clear and what um about the uh uh so my I guess the I make I'm taking a while to get to my answer is that um I would suggest you be patient and and respectful and maybe take opportunities like if you have church functions and things where you can get close to the father and sit down with them and talk about things and maybe maybe all it would take for him to get to know you a little bit more to really see um that you are being sincere and that you you know you want the best for his daughter and that um you know all of those sorts of things yeah that makes sense I like that perspective what about if the girl's dad isn't really in the message like they might claim it but for instance maybe they don't maybe he doesn't go to church How would how would you handle as young men then being like assuming the girls like 19 20 21 22 23 24 years old and um Dad doesn't go to church but he might think that he's really right about stuff and he's quote unquote in the message when really he's not how would you handle it then um yeah that that's a very specific scenario that's kind of hard to to really speak to without um you know I think it doesn't change the situation whether or not he's in the in the message or not or even whether he's a Christian or not you still want to go you still want to be respectful and um you know yeah the father of the daughter has given his life to raise her and to prepare her and and set her life in order so that one day she'll be a success and have a successful marriage so you want to give him that um that courtesy of you know getting to know him and and that kind of thing I you know what Without Really knowing specifics or whatever I I couldn't I mean I couldn't really condone just trying to work around the situation yeah you'd want to give everything you could to try to get get this father's blessing for the blessing it yeah and I agree I mean I've heard from guys that camp you know like for instance they'll live like there's a guy I was talking to a girl and there's like uh they live thousands of miles apart and the girl's dad wasn't in the message and I was thinking like by God's grace the girl's dad was really nice to the gun allowed them to speak but if he wasn't how in the world would you handle that say you live like 7 000 miles apart and you want to communicate with her but the girl's dad's real difficult he's not in the message it's a very uh difficult you know you know not Strife but just uh coming together different headships but it's hard to uh you're right it is very specific but it can't it does happen and it has happened yeah and that's a situation where I would definitely have to pull out the I don't know card I really don't know that's the Rogue signals I guess I don't know letters something 7 000 miles and trying to get the father's blessing yeah it's difficult yeah I know that's very specific but it's it's really the overall of it is when you can't have a straightforward conversation with the dad and if he's maybe playing into the the the standoffish father and he's not really and you can't have a straightforward conversation with them like at all and that can make it really difficult on the guy because if a guy wants to be really respectful straightforward and uh honest but he can't have an honest conversation then it makes it exceptionally difficult on because he feels like there's nothing he can do yeah I'm I'm assuming that he you know you if you've already exhausted all the other you know obviously you'd want to try try at least a phone call First and um if that doesn't work then yeah who knows yeah um so like when Micah asked you to court slash date or whatever people want to call that uh Mr what was that like oh so yeah so I I know there's the whole uh we don't date we core and I I think uh just to Define that the way we look at it is um cording is you you are going you're entering into the into the relationship with the final goal that you're going to get married and some people put that same label on dating dating dating in the world is this thing where you hip-hop you hop from one hip hop you hop from one person to the other without really an end goal in mind that you're going to get married and commit for the rest of your life um at at the end of your journey you know at the end of your recording Journey so that's that's just to kind of level set that's what I mean when I talk about courting um so I I knew we knew like I mentioned that we had all the the word from Zach and from the family and you know he was uh interested in Esther and was coming and so we were all prepared it wasn't a surprise and I think that's one thing where it creates kind of a problem when these are surprises you know you shouldn't be proposing out of thin air you shouldn't be asking questions out of thin air they should kind of be the background that you know you're leading up to this moment and um everybody's communicating everybody's aware that something's in the air something's happening and so when we had that discussion um he came over to that he actually was living in Idaho at that time and flew Down to Georgia and we had the discussion in the house um and uh I think he was a little nervous and so forth but um you know we I I knew it was coming and uh just talked to him and um and you know it was honestly you know if if you if uh if there's no red flags and the fact that you even asked that question I think um uh carries a level of respect because they're like like we were saying earlier there's a lot of people that will try to go around the father and um won't even try to get his Blessing which is a big a big issue so um yeah that's that's how that went down awesome so like okay what about when he asked for a hand in marriage what what was that like um what did it look like if you could take us through the situation kind of like you know whether Brandon did that kind of uh format I guess is Mike at home he's probably I can check let's see um Lily and Zach are I don't think you would mind me telling this but I mean I mean it was it was it was just a conversation how was it actually out in the backyard uh working on something with uh it was it was kind of funny because he I think he mentioned that oh I didn't want to have this conversation with you with why you got a hammer in your hand but um yeah we just we had a nice conversation and um yeah he wanted to ask for my daughter's hand and I told him I would be glad that for my daughter to something something about I would be glad for him to have her and um and we shared a hug and you know probably some tears too and it was it was real emotional and um and you know again leading up to this I was expecting him to ask I knew it was coming I knew what my answer was going to be um and you know it wasn't a surprise it was uh you know it was all of those things made it a whole lot easier than it could have been if if you know if it was a surprise and I didn't nobody was communicating and all those sorts of things so you're saying that it went very smoothly because he had he had all of the foundational things set up first exactly I see did you ever consider maybe messing with them a little bit you know when I was young I I've been on fishing trips and stuff where guys would joke about uh uh really messing with um the young man that would ask for her daughter's hand and make him wait like a day or two and all sorts of things like that um I I think you know that's I I I I know some people kind of laugh and joke about those things that that's that's not really how I am I I just didn't want to do that so um I'm I'm uh I take a more sincere approach to it and um it was it was more of a heartfelt conversation with like I said tears and emotion and um I I didn't want to ruin the moment by making light of it or making it something that it worse than it it needed to be I guess I guess is the best way to say that I'm assuming he asked you before he asked Esther yes it's great that's awesome what were your uh how did it feel when he asked you like I know you knew it was coming and everything else but what was that what was that feeling like when he asked um you know uh it's probably harder for the Young Folks to imagine but after you've raised your kids for maybe you know two decades you really want the best for them and you're the ultimate life goal is to see your children position as well spiritually and you know naturally where you know you've got a married to a man that's got a good job of you know um all those sorts of things so all of that made me really happy because I I believe that Micah is a great guy I believe that the church they go to is a great church I believe that the everything that all of all the things that go up it may go into making the relationship what it is is I it just made me so happy um I believe that um Michael's family is a great family so you know it just uh I mean really the only the only sentiment you can have when you look at your children being set up in life like that is is one of Joy um so that's how I felt I felt so happy it's awesome maybe I'll know how you feel in 30 years I guess that's awesome then I'll bring you on if you're still here and we'll talk about you again that's awesome that's really good to hear that's pretty neat I'm sure it was uh I'm sure it was uh pretty hard on him but thanks for not messing with him like it it's really more of a joke but no guy really wants the dad to really mess with who asks that yeah do unto others yes exactly so uh uh one quick question before I ask you how you met your wife what about age ranges what do you think about the uh tool too young you know not everyone's in Arkansas so I mean uh what do you think about that um so this goes back to where um you know ultimately I think the specific age range for for courting and dating and all that is it's just a matter of the the family you know the fan the mother and the father's discernment within their their church and just the way that they're looking at things yeah because you know he's some might say that you're ready to start quoting at 17 some might say 20. um it just depends on the maturity level of the young people um the parents and the church's discernment of the couple's character um maybe distance could have a factor in it too um so yeah I mean you really it's fluid and depends on a lot of factors I think um um so okay for whoever talks to your daughters and at whatever ages of Life uh all the guys probably will say a big thank you for being reasonable and straightforward as a as a dad because I speak from experience that I uh I've dealt with a lot of um hardships and that and it can be very hard in a guy when a girl likes him and then you try to uh get past a weird debt but whoever you guys end up with I'll probably guys will probably really thank you for um being just biblical and straightforward and honest and you know the way that God would do it because I have experienced my life a tremendous amount of pain around people that don't so thank you from all the guys um sure you you got married at some point because chances are if your parents never have kids neither will you um how did you meet your wife um so that's that's a good question um when we this is this has been a long time ago but we grew up both of us I in South Carolina and her in Mobile Alabama grew up pretty isolated um we just Cadillac had like a little small assembly in our in our home churches um and there weren't really any other many other message Believers for us either of us to focus to fellowship with so um back then this was when the internet was just taking off I I actually created a website where Believers can get to get online and talk to one another and I got to some awesome fellowship with Believers in Australia and Africa and all around the world on different churches and met a lot of Believers from different places and um and that's where I actually met my wife's family and I met um Monica on there and we kind of started talking and I ended up um traveling down to mobile to meet her family more and she came she actually came from a very large family as maybe many of you know she had 12 brothers and sisters and um and they were they're just if you don't know anyone in the borderline family they're like the best family ever when I when I um uh when I you know we got to meet them her brothers are like my brothers now uh her sisters are like my sisters they're they're just just an awesome family um so yeah eventually uh you know I I guess I guess you could say I passed the boulevard family tests and um borderline because they they actually came from Romania when she was three years old and moved to move to Mobile so um that's where they they don't have a traditional American name I guess but um so I passed their tests and um they liked me um her dad liked me I guess and eventually we got married so you created the website where you met your wife yeah I was called back then it was called eaglechat.com where um people from all so what you're telling us is if you want to meet your wife you have to create a website where people chat well nowadays people have moved on to Instagram and yeah it's it's a lot different now but uh you know they haven't changed things um that's awesome I don't think anyone else can say that they created the website where they met their wife maybe Mark Zuckerberg but other than that I can't think of anybody that's awesome so like it's interesting that not just my I not just my my wife and I met there but um there have been a a large number of Believers that met on that um many uh there there are there are a lot of people around uh the United States that met on on there and and um so yeah that's that's about all if it's still a website that's active oh no oh no that it got shot shut down a long time ago I after we got married I moved to Atlanta and you know one thing led to another we just couldn't didn't have time to keep that running I see I see what was the uh what was the the borlavon test exactly I see all the chat about different people saying that their parents met on that website that's funny um I think there was a kid at one of the camps um that I forget which one but there was actually a group of Believers that would meet every year um that had met on that chat on that on that website eagleschat.com um yeah sorry what was the question that you asked what was the borlavon test exactly um I I don't know how to quantify that but um Monica had a uh an older sister I think that that oh you know everybody kind of joked that if you could pass her tests if she or if she liked you then you were again and she I think she really liked me we were going to talk about um talk about scripture and um you know recent Church meetings and things like that and um and the same way with the rest of her family um so yeah what that's awesome so like um all of this everything that you've said it seems that it's all based in the word of God and that the uh the main thing is have a relationship with God and these um and with that comes these rich the spirit you know the respect the having your life together have in the pastor all of these things and then that is the foundation for what makes it where you'll be respectful talking to the dad and and passing the ball of on test and hey thankfully it wasn't a cooking test because I don't think anybody can cook like they can no very few people think it's like bacon and they're they're one of a kind so like now uh we can't quite create a website to meet our lives on so what would your advice what would be your advice to give to young people that are looking for a wife or looking for a husband um yeah that's why that's another reason why I'm looking at my life experience is sometimes young people will say well you know you you're giving us different advice now in the way that you did it because honestly I would not advise my children to go through the same experiences that I went through things were different he grew as a person you you know I definitely look at scripture and and things like that different than I did 20 years ago um so you really you really got to take things um take things back to the word um I'm sorry what was what was the question how did you find that uh what advice would you give to young people that are looking for a wife or a husband um you would firstly look for someone who has prioritized God in their lives um and I I think one of the first things to do is is make sure that you know yourself take time to understand yourself and reflect on um what you find valuable and because knowing knowing who you are will help you make a more informed choice about what your what kind of person you will be compatible with and you know if you know if you know yourself then maybe if you're examining yourself you can realize that you don't have the relationship with God the way that you should like you begin to examine yourself and find out that you're not there's things lacking in real life like have you ever been skipping church or not reading your Bible um so maybe that's a good question to ask yourself are you positioned in life for for a relationship are you are you ready to um how can you look for somebody that if you want if you want to find somebody that has got put God first in their life and you have not then you know it really behooves you to take stock of where you are and and uh uh like somebody on an on an aircraft that's that's crashing put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you can put it on the other person and then um look for look for character like um you know a lot of times we focus so much on the superficial things when you're when you're looking for a spouse um like what their eyebrows that look like in their hairstyle and stuff but I think if the young people would focus on like when you're looking at a a young lady think about is she gonna make a good Mama well she take care of my kids and raise them to be real Godly men and women because you know you think about where life's going to lead you I when I was working in Atlanta for years and I would work late most of the time that my children spent it wasn't with me I was working that's the same way with a lot of a lot of uh young people the man is working he might have a construction job or a job where he has to travel or he's just not at home a lot maybe he's a trucker on the road all the time and the kids are going to be spending more time with Mama so the question really to think about is she going to be a good mama or is she going to be kind of a flighty person that doesn't put God first and it doesn't take him to church um is she going to be the kind of person that wants you know expensive things that I'm going to have to you know all the things think about things like that so in other words that's that's why we say ministers say you're you're looking for character you're looking for somebody that's going to be in the same thing for a girl looking for a a young man is he going to make a good day is he gonna you know spend nights in prayer on his knees is he gonna um have devotions with the with the kids is he going to be the kind of man that really wants to know know his god um or is he just gonna be somebody that just um I the opposite of that um and you know when you're looking for a spouse I would I would counsel to the just to you don't have to rush in anything take your time it's it's fine to be friends and and get to know you know play volleyball and or or whatever uh just just to get to know one another and um and above all pray about it um because I think probably everybody on this chat knows that's listening that um that I mean you could have just observed life there have been a lot of mistakes made um so we need we need God's guidance you need God's guidance and everything so above all pray and seek God's wisdom and God's Direction in your life thank you okay so I'm taking notes itself what what advice do you give people looking for a wife or a husband find someone that this is all making amazing sense about it's all really good uh find someone that's prioritized God in their life no knowing who you are will make the important choice make sure and I've written this down exactly as how I understood it correct me if I'm misinterpreting it uh knowing who you are will help you make the important choice Maybe by examining yourselves you can find out that maybe you don't have the relationship with God like you should if you want to find someone that's put God first in their life and you have not done that then you like the pertinent person trying to help someone out with an oxygen mask and you have an in Patron your own oxygen mask on first um look for character instead of The Superficial will she make a uh will she make a good wife will she make a good mother for the children is she going to homeschool them is she going to keep them from home if I miss a service um or keep them from church other if I miss a service um when you're looking for a spouse you don't have to rush anything and it's okay to be friends Above All Else pray and seek for God's wisdom and direction in your life yeah and I would also add to that trust trust your instincts like you know we we're all familiar with that story in the Bible of Elijah here in a still Small Voice you know when you hear that still Small Voice that says this is not the right direction you need to go in or this is not good listen to that um how do you know if it's still a small voice I I I I I think I'm really just speaking of that instinctual voice that quiet voice that um speaks in your life to tell you that you're about to make a bad decision or maybe that you're about to make a good a good decision too um mix that in with all of these other elements to to create a picture of good judgment yeah I mean I have found that usually there's still what the still Small Voice wants is what goes against what my flesh wants and what I want right now usually you know that the stuff always is saying no you can't marry her tomorrow you just met her I think sometimes um young people will uh you know they'll they'll hear that still Small Voice warning them that this is a this is a bad relationship and then they push through it anyway and just try to make things work when the young man is being disrespectful and the young woman or the young woman doesn't want to go to church or you know it's there's all these warning flags and things and you know down in your your gut something's telling you this something's wrong something's off but you just try to push through it anyway and just make it work and maybe your mother and father are telling you like I I don't know and people from church are raising their eyebrows and and and again that still Small Voice is raising the you know something's off um so that's really what I'm speaking to when I when I talk about that still Small Voice is is give it a little bit more um listen to a little bit more than um we often do as as as humans yeah as far as I can tell there's still Small Voice will almost never tell you to rush something it'll almost always tell you to wait and pray about it yeah that's the one way you can tell I had a follow-up question on one thing that you said you know when you're looking for a spouse you don't have to rush anything it's okay to be just friends now here's a question like from my perspective it's a little towards yours too because you live far apart from a sister Monica um what about when because you know this ties into like how do you communicate just as friends versus talking on the phone voice messages all these different things what would be your Vice for us kids like me or whatever you meet someone at camp and you want to stay just friends but you want to communicate with them but you don't want to come off as like oh I want a relationship like no you don't you want to be just friends but how would you handle that as a young man in this world of you can just text someone instantly you know it's it's a lot different and you live I live three hours away from anyone my age so it's a very difficult thing for me to convey that hey this person may be interesting you might not talk to them just as friends but then they think oh you really like them and it's hard to convey that what would be your advice um so after after byc this year Zoe and Kaylee came back and it made a lot of friends and they they uh you know would get on Instagram in like group chats and where they talk with maybe four or five kids in their at once and so that's what we kind of been encouraging them to do um is to kind of you know just stay in a group when you're when you're uh you know when you're chatting instead of you know trying to pull off one-on-one or anything like that I think that works well for uh you know the internet the whole internet thing the internet is is kind of been difficult for a lot of parents to kind of figure out the best strategy but um now that we've got everybody's got the video chat and those kind of things if you've got multiple people in one room to kind of um I guess balance each other out and be there as as chaperones everybody can see what's going on and that that's one way to handle it and one way that works well so with that with Zoe and Kaylee is that more to do with them being 16 or does that have more to do with how you want to handle the just friends think um that that has more to do with the just friends thing so if they were each 18 or 19 and say hey I have like you know this many people who are just friends there's three or four boys or whatever or even one whatever and they'll be just friends like yeah sure on a group chat initiating the factor between um what you're saying is different not for everyone but the I'm sorry that's a big I sometimes speaking big words I don't even fully understand so the difference between just friends versus actually more is private communication rather than doing it in a group as far as what you have found to be successful um I'm actually not I'm not sure I totally understand the question I'm sorry I probably did complicated so are you saying that the difference between in communication between just friends versus these people like each other is if they like each other they will talk privately and if they want to be quote unquote just friends they have to do it in a group chat if they don't want to officially make it anything more than just friends yeah the the way I look at it is is this um as as my daughters get older if if they want to enter into uh if a young man wants to begin courting one of them that's when he would need to call me on the phone or come to my house and look me in the eye and say this is what I want this is what my intentions are I I like you know I like your daughter I would like to start calling her on the phone or whatever and um you know if if he's a long way away maybe maybe a phone call would work but you know hopefully that anyway yeah that's not the case I understand um what is so then is it the courting thing is courting um where you're talking privately then versus in a group for your family um yeah that's so that's what it that's what it was when Esther and Mike got quoted and and Zach and Lily um you know they they had you know they were older and um had Liberty to talk on the phone and so forth I respect that I I think like a lot so a lot of people do it where they'll have the private discussions but it'll be just as they'll say it's just as friends maybe because in their Church they got 50 kids their age um you know like when I have kids I want to do it like pretty much like the way my dad does it and it was pretty much the same way that you do it um because the difference between talking in the group and then one-on-one when you're one-on-one you're actually talking to just them and you're establishing and keeping and maintaining an emotional one-on-one connection versus in the group then you are getting to know them and they're getting to know you you're going to see if there's any mutual thing there um what do you think about the people that say and not say they're right or wrong but just your opinion on their stance is that yeah they can talk just as friends privately um I I think that goes back I different families are going to have different family Dynamics uh maybe different uh you know the pastors of their churches would advise them differently and so forth and so you have to obviously take those things into account you know I people are gonna people are going to do things differently um that's just how I can speak to how we did and did things and and maybe I would do things differently the next time around um but yeah that's that's where we landed up I I like that so here's a cool follow-up to that say someone to be 20 times at camp and they talk to them what if they don't have extra friends for a group chat do they invite someone that you want them to invite some of the random friends or put you and sister Monica in a group chat how would you want them to handle that if you know they don't have a friend group but it's actually just the two of them that connected at a camp um I think in most cases people are going to come away from camp with a lot of friends a lot of times the young people will go to Camp thinking I'm not going to make any friends um you know maybe I'm backwards and shy and it's just going to be difficult and then they get to camp and they find out that people are friendly and they come away with knowing a lot of people um and you know so I think that would be a rare situation where you don't have enough friends working to get into a group chat um but if you if that is the case then um I don't know how I don't really know how to advise how to go work through that situation I think that's just a challenge that that family would have to have to work out um just like for instance I say that because like for instance some people that don't have big youth groups and their style of communication makes where they connect with one person and they don't always uh connect within a group they'll connect with the other person one-on-one so um how would you handle that in that situation say if the guy is really respectful the girls really respectful all these different things but they don't have a group they can make one sure but they didn't meet in a group they met you know on the bleachers talking to each other one on one minute 300 people in the gym so it's not private or anything but at the same time it was a one-on-one discussion in person so you're saying you don't have a group of friends um how are you going to facilitate talking um without yeah I mean if you get a group of friends you're gonna have to recruit some people and say Hey I want to talk to this guy's daughter but he wants us to just be in a group chat would you please join a group chat because again from personal experience when that happens um what I have seen is the uh other people in the group chat they see things but they rarely say anything in the group chat um I think for a while uh when Esther was talking on the phone um she would do it in in a communal area so maybe that would be an option where you know Mama's cooking in the kitchen and if she wants to talk if a daughter wants to talk a young man put him on speakerphone in the Next Room um or um or or not speakerphone but just have her sitting there where you know you can kind of listen in and um chaperone the conversation so that might be another another way to do it um I really like that because there is like I do cold calls for a living and I talk to people a lot and there is like when I have customers in the store with me at ATT there'd be a difference between six people with me in the store and one person and there's such a dynamic you're right so I really appreciate the way that you do that because um when it's just one-on-one and they're in private room and you're in a private room you can have the Holy Ghost both of you and have a great relationship with God but it just walk in the hot calls in some ways and people might disagree or whatever but I like that I I I I do agree with that like yeah sure you can talk to him but you have to be in the same room as me or whatever else and maybe like maybe you don't have to be on speaker maybe you do just depending but um I like that I I agree with that it's good stuff okay um do you have any more thoughts on that before I go on to the next thing I think after that exhausted everything you have to think of on that topic all right sweet sweet I I like the perspective I've heard perspectives I have not heard yet um so it's awesome so like what what so in all of this one of the things we do and when we call people is we try to not ask things just ask the question we want to try to make some things around it so some people say you just go here for relationships uh some people said there's nothing in the Bible that they can find about dating and relationships but you're a preacher though so you know these things what does the Bible say about these dating and relationships that's applicable for us oh so you could you could probably talk about this um for hours um I mean I I think one thing the Bible talks about in second Corinthians is is to not be yoked together with unbelievers to not be unequally yoked um I you know what that's that's one thing to consider when you're um we're looking for someone to spend the rest of your life together I I think it was in that um the Fiddler on the Roof play they got turned into a movie somebody there was a quote from that that said uh a bird and a fish can fall in love but where the wherever they live and so you know you want to you want to find somebody that's compatible compatible with you so you can walk together because if if you if you know one wants to stay home and listen to tapes and the other wants to go to church then it's going to be difficult um you're you know just in all areas if you know it just practically if one's one's a Catholic and one's a Baptist for example it's just going to be difficult so or like the filler and the roof example if one's a fish and one's a bird where are you going to live so you want to be yoga together with somebody that's that's compatible with you people on here some of the good good comments of some of the comments that are uh what's the word related uh Ben Browning says my opinion hot take coming in if a guy has a problem with talking with a girl with a chaperone slash a parent he's not ready yeah I totally agree that's right and I said that is that that is the difference between just friends and not just friends too excellent I like because if you just if you I was just thinking like today like you know they try to say like when you respond to people or texts you should do it at a certain time whatever else but if you're just friends why would you care about that stuff yeah you're just friends who cares um so if you care a lot then obviously it may be not just friends people agree with Ben Brennan that's awesome uh Ben Browning if a guy's willing to go through the Hoops of courtship he's not ready or he's not the one for you that's right what are you guys thoughts if people have thoughts about these things in the comments comment away tell us y'all's thoughts on y'all's perspectives and y'all's weird situations Liz I know it isn't it isn't a super rare thing for a message guy to deal with a uh a weird dad or to uh deal with you know because it is a hard thing because you have all the different social structures of like uh people in a big youth group people with no youth group people with a meeting between that uh people who can talk on the phone a lot people who can't and they have no idea how they're supposed to navigate this and the last thing we want is people just talking to each other privately the parents never know and see yeah it's just not a good idea um yeah absolutely communication through the whole the whole Endeavor is is key so that there's no surprises uh everybody's on the same page and I mean like I said if if the father has a has a good relationship with his daughter or you know their children it just makes everything work so much better okay here's a good question so like behind the scenes of what Micah maybe didn't know was like Esther talking to you guys about her talking to Micah at all like behind the scenes like oh I met this guy named Micah he's really nice oh you might call you Dad to ask about courting what was that like um so I mean you know this in the evening when you when you get off work we sit around and and chat about things and um share share things like that so you know it I mean I I was I was I believe I feel like I was blessed with with pretty good relationships with my with my children I mean if you're if your kids respect you you're you're just you're you're blessed you uh it's it's it's a huge blessing um and so I think we had a pretty good relationship where we could you know that would share things like that um so yeah I see Lily says I think with older couples dating perhaps chaperones aren't stressed as much because they're able to decide quicker whether they're going to marry each other and have the ability to do that yeah yeah that makes sense because also if they're older they might live on their own or might kind of be their own uh adults for their themselves it just depends um so uh give you anything more about what the Bible says about dating relationships one of the things that I say about it is the uh you know July also in the Lord and He Shall give you the desires of thine Hearts so people will ask like how do I find the love of my life and answer that I have given or that I've given me myself is make yourself into the greatest man that God wants you to be I can't just go and text 50 different girls who or whatever and see which one responds the most and then go from there I really should focus more on you know building up my job the car the house savings um the other things like that um reading my Bible what else does you know the Bible say about things like that what do you think of that approach uh I think there's a proverb in Proverbs chapter 3 that kind of goes along with that trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding and all your ways submit to him and he will make your path straight and that goes back to you know if if you if you put God first in everything um you know really when you when you choose somebody to marry and spend the rest of your life with that's the second most important decision the most important decision you can make is to be born again in a fellowship with God and so that makes God the most important thing so if you're trusting in the Lord with all your heart and not leaning on your own understanding then um we've got that promise and the other one that you mentioned as well that God will make your path straight yeah this is uh Sharon Grace says uh personally I think that if you can't be trusted to date without a chaperone or parent whether by your own standards or someone else says you are too young to date period and you need a couple years it depends I mean me personally I like in our family the Ann and Alex when even when they're engaged they still had a chaperone with them until they are married um so what do you think about uh chaperones and dating and all that yeah I think chaperones are totally important I mean you you want to um for for the obvious reasons you want to have a a chaperone available so that um there can be no appearance of evil and virtue could be protected and um the Integrity is maintained and all of those sorts of things um during throughout the relationship so yeah yeah how long did uh how long did you and sister Monica court before he got married um we actually we had a we had a very fast relationship we I think we got married within six months of meeting so it was six months yeah it's pretty cool why don't why so fast um you know I I was in uh I I had just gotten a a good a decent job and was able to provide for myself and it was positioned I mean everything in my life was just kind of lining up and and I mean not speaking from the natural perspective um um and then I I had uh been in much prayer about a wife and um felt like I was being led of the Lord in in the right direction and found somebody that um aligned with everything I was looking for and like I said the family and so forth was awesome and um so yeah just the the Stars alone so to speak and um I was ready to move forward into the next phase of my life so that's that's why cool that's awesome how old were you um 23 20 23. let's see uh if someone asks would you say that a guy being extremely attached to his mom is a good or bad thing I know that having a good relationship with your mother is good but when you put their mom over everything else is that a good or a bad thing um well there's that scripture in the Bible that says when a man you know a man she leaves father and mother and cleave to his wife when he gets married so you know there's nothing wrong with having a good relationship with your with your mother but when you get married um you you've got to leave those things behind and and your wife becomes your focus um you know if a mother-in-law is telling you what color it drapes to to um put in your house and your wife wants a different color and you're leaning to what your mother says then that's obviously going to create a problem yeah I'd say scripturally you you cleave to your wife your wife is your wife is your your other half as you know when you know even when we go out to eat in the church and so forth we introduce each other this is my better half she's your half and that means she's part of you she's not she's she's got a relationships that's more than um the other family relationships that you left behind she's part of you now yeah let's see Lily black says my parents are too busy to constantly supervise this when Zach visited we just go out and date some public spaces and talked I do think spending a lot of time alone should be able to though because it doesn't look like I think it's all up to how the parents feel led to handle it there is a balance yeah I'd say that there's a the difference between being alone in a room and a house and in a public space yeah um they put their mom over everything else someone says this definitely looks like a red flag to me I'd say yeah that's probably definitely uh Lily Lily's parents got married met and got married within five weeks that's really fast they didn't even speak the same language uh Sharon Grace's parents did it for four months and I was thinking but the Bob did it fast Green Card military marriage it's beautiful all right um yeah I mean as far as the mom and all that yeah like love your mom but if she tells you she wants green at the wedding and your wife says uh your fiance says blue blue is the color it's it's going to be blue um so how how can a US message gets how can we find a partner that shares our Christian values and maybe you could tie this into uh meeting a girl or girl meeting a guy and one of them only listens to tapes or something along that order so I think um and I want to ask that because if you if you meet someone that also has a pastor preaching all that it's kind of the same thing but if they have the tapes thing it kind of makes it exceptionally difficult Guy meets girl girl in this guy yeah so how can I find a partner who shares my my Christian values what up what I think the first thing to do is to know what you believe and I think I think that's one challenge that a lot of young people maybe have is is they're fine trying to find somebody that um would be a good Christian um partner in life a good spouse but they don't really know what to look for because they don't know what they believe um so before you start looking for your partner in life make sure you understand you know at least at least a foundational idea of what what it is to be a Christian and um what the gospel is and and what what you're really looking for um because I mean that's the like the the scenario you just you just shared is the most basic um could be the most basic issue are you going to spend life and are you going to have a relationship with your um at homeless in the Deep so are you going to go to church so if you don't know what you believe how can you know what to look for um and then to add on to that um make sure that you're putting God first make sure you're going to church and you are um you know reading reading your Bible and spending time in prayer and those kind of things um if you want to church that's one of the best places to find people that think like you and of course you know youth groups and so forth and special meetings um that's that's another great way of finding somebody that believes like you and um hey you know you go to a special meeting and a young man see that sister raising her hands and really entering into worship and not ashamed to get up and sing a song and he's you know a real solid Christian man that knows what he believes can look at that and say that's the kind of girl I want to I want to go after she's she's not ashamed to worship her God she's not ashamed to praise God um and that's um it's gonna it's gonna that you know someone is not ashamed of their God is going to attract somebody that's not ashamed of their God a lot of times you know the youth maybe they'll they get in their head that they don't see the real value that they have and so they try to doctor himself up by looking like the world putting a little lipstick or dressing a little bit wrong or whatever but you know the the obvious repercussions of doing that is you're going to attract that kind of person but if you want to attract a real praiseworthy Godly individual then be that kind of a person um so that's that's some ways how you can find a partner that that shares the same way that you believe and shares your second Christian values um let's see what's some other thing you could um seek seek advice from other people um if there's somebody that you might be interested in um you could it doesn't hurt to to ask ask your pastor or um somebody that you respect about what your next step should be um you know that I know sometimes um maybe my brother David you get um some Flack for saying ask your pastor but you know there's a there's nothing wrong with I mean we should have a solid relationship with our pastors so that you can go to go to them and ask them about um about things of life and um get some guidance and support from them um that's that's what they're there for that's what you know deacons and elders and ministers and um all those helps are forward to help guide us and give us wisdom and encouragement so if God has given us those resources take advantage of them amen well thank you I I do say that and really the ultimate reason why it has not been because I don't it's some of it has been because I genuinely don't know someone will say what's the Seven Seals I'm like I I know but I'm not gonna be as as first as a pastor and really the reason why is because I've seen behind the scenes from my dad going through you know a pastor knows where someone's at spiritually and someone may find it easier for some reason to talk to me than their Pastor which I think is completely wrong with some people maybe do that but it's not my business a lot of times to answer those a lot of questions because I don't know where they're spiritually at and I don't know what's going on behind the scenes and their pastor does and he will know how to maybe they're just gonna come into the message and you'll tell them a quote and they'll deny it and the pastor wouldn't know that so he's not going to approach it that way with them so whenever I've said it I genuinely you know my dad's a pastor I know what goes on behind the scenes and I genuinely do it to to help um see someone says any advice for sister also I don't you know I never want to be all Davis David's uh going behind pastors backs I never want to do that I that is that's a nightmare for me I just yes it's not my business and plus I don't want that kind of pressure on me I'm not a pastor I don't want to be a pastor evangelist it's just fine I don't want to be a pastor whatever God wants I will do but I think it's the most stressing job there is outside of me being The Seventh-Day Prophet um but pastorship's really stressing absolutely you see Mike penguin uh I've heard his last name isn't penguin but I forgot how to pronounce it uh any advice for sisters who are waiting for a man to come to them so I think a lot of those things that I just said would also apply to a sister um you know know what you believe um make sure you're attending church and you know I I I've heard from people before where you know they just uh didn't go to um special meetings and I mostly stayed at home and um you know they were looking to to meet with somebody and you know you do you do have to kind of um go where the people are so to speak and but you know so attend church and go to special meetings and and uh youth groups and things like that and um and be patient I I I'll tell you one example I know somebody in my family that um she she was about 30 years old by the time she finally um married a good Christian man who turned out to be a minister and he's now pastoring a church um and you know maybe you know it seemed like life was just passing her by and um but she just kept being patient and waiting on the Lord and God finally brought her a good good solid real Christian man an English or prayer so just be patient I think that's one thing to remember is don't don't rush because it's better to wait on the Lord and be patient for him to bring you the right one then to be joined up with the wrong one and be miserable living in a nightmare you what um but the Bram says you choose the wrong way you could ruin your entire life here's a good question is there a wife predestinated for every husband for every man or is it a choice that we make um that that's a good question um said that um if if you don't have the right one here you have the right one there and uh you know there's also the quote where he said we don't believe in soul mates so you got to pair those two together to create the right picture I I believe that um I I believe that God knows who you will end up with and um I'm actually not prepared with scriptures or quotes to go any really deeper than that um but I I believe that if you pray and and put your faith in God and he will uh he will he will guide your lead you down the path of life to the to the very very best person for you to spend this life with yeah that is your those that are the sons of God led by the uh the spirit of God sorry my beard was getting really itchy and I have this beard oil I had to put it on my face so I'm constantly doing this um I'm new to this whole beer thing but uh that might be something to meditate on further yeah it came up with a it's a boiler one thing sister Olivia Boulevard or Olivia Comedia at this point I was reading a good question collini but um I know brother uh but the Donnie Reagan actually the one how do you know we're picking the right one and he went to the ram quote in a way I haven't heard before like he says you don't know why you love them and he went through a bunch of different ways to approach it if anybody wants that link let me know um so here's another one from uh Mike who's asking a bunch of really good questions advice for people who don't think that there's anyone for them um well from the very very beginning God God created us so we would have a help meet that was that was his plan and purpose so we wouldn't go through life alone so I I don't think the notion that um I think that's what God is God's intent is for us to for us to not be lonely but to have somebody to go through life with and um I mean the very the very first promise in Genesis was for us to multiply and replace the Earth in other words God wants us to have children so um he wants he wants that for you and so that's that's the way I would look at it um it's it's not good for man to be alone we've got that promise in the Bible it's not good for you to be um to be by yourself and and God's got a plan and a purpose for you to to have somebody to share life with um so if if just be patient and um and keep trusting in God and I believe God will bring you somebody to enjoy you know I I I've heard people you know they'll go to Disney World or something by themselves or they'll go to Vacation by themselves and it just it it um good the the state of the thing is things like that are just not as much fun as it would be if you're sharing it with somebody and that's how God wants us to share life with somebody I believe that's right um let's see here someone asked uh okay so how do you move from a casual friendship with a girl or a guy into more of a serious discussion kind of friendship how do you move from a casual friendship into a more serious friendship well um obviously both of you would have to be in agreement to move it to the next stage so that involves communication and if if you're not if you're not clear on whether that other person would be interested in moving to the next stage then um sit or later communication is going to have to be made somebody's gonna have to roast the topic um another you know the the old I like you do you like me conversation yeah I think I think a lot of times we over complicate it but it really is that simple because either they like you or they don't it is hard to know because honestly maybe we don't even want to ask because we're afraid but it's either there it's not exactly I guess there's that's the challenge you know if there's a question about whether they um whether they like you back then um sooner or later it's going to come out I guess um I I don't know how two people can hide that for very long um but if not somebody's gonna have to raise raise the the point sooner or later yeah I think uh sister Olivia colini said that uh if a girl likes a guy she is just dying for him to tell her that he likes her too and she's really looking forward to it but if she does not like him she's dreading if he hints to that or if he says that and she's hating what she has to do you know let's see uh Mike says assuming that both parties have the new birth is it possible that it could work out even if the parents on either side don't approve it's possible of course it's rare I mean if you have if you have uh this according to what you've said on the slide if you have all of your ducks in order and you have your relationship with God uh then I don't see why the parents wouldn't approve if everybody is is uh consecrated with God and in great communication it's like what you're saying earlier you won't have these problems if the girls have great relationships with their fathers and if the guy is really dedicated to God and has the right relationship um but yeah I mean it's hard it's hard to speak on uh some of these hypothetics that might be an ask you Pastor question yeah that might be asking me about your situation let's see any advice for people who are waiting on a sign from God before dating or getting engaged any advice on this waiting for a sign from God um that that's a good question um I'm just trying to think [Music] um foreign I think one of the some of the greatest signs are the character of the other other individual and how they put God first and um their respect and all of the things that you can easily observe um and you know if you're waiting if you're waiting for a revelation from God which I I believe you should have you should have um you know a firm conviction that you're moving in the direction that God wants you to have but both parties should have that yeah because you'll see so many times where you know a young man will come into the picture and he'll be like you know God God told me that you're the one I'm going to marry and it kind of puts this odd pressure on the situation and you know the girl should the young lady should enter into the relationship with that same if God wants you both together he'll reveal it to both parties um he'll move you both in the same direction so it's not going to be one side of the world one has some special um some special spiritual Vindication than the other doesn't I I don't believe it this that's maybe one thing to kind of watch out for red flags like that where someone's trying to kind of manipulate someone's feelings or emotions through something like that yeah Dad says uh just be patient and that you're not you're not going to rush God and in my life when I went wrong is when I've tried to hurry hurry something along instead of being patient and I think also if anyone wants something from well brother Johnny Reagan said about to have them know if they're the one he really goes through it uh Mike's again says are there scenarios where parents can be overprotective and hinder the development of their child in regards to forming romantic relationships I I think probably but um that's just something you have to navigate and navigate with prayer and um you know if you're if you're uh good-hearted and respectful I believe you can easily win over a protective father by just um just being patient and good and have good communication good conversation and um communicate your intentions well and all of those sorts of things yeah of the opinion that if a girl really loves you and she wants to things to be that that's one thing I've found out with love is that if you really love someone they love you too they don't care what it takes um it's not uh you know oh it's a thing that overcomes everything and if it's ordained of God then God Will Make A Way um let's see Lily black says when you get married you create your own family it is difficult when your future in-laws may not approve because it's a wonderful feeling to have a great relationship with your spouse's family I mean I I'm not I don't know a whole lot but I know that from what you said earlier but above all of this really um it what's the word it depends on the relationship with God if everyone has the relationship with God and you truly have done your due diligence and seek someone who has their life dedicated to God and their parents do as well then I don't think that I don't think you'll have these issues as much oh let's see I'm gonna I've actually gotta get up early tomorrow morning for for work so I'm maybe another thing let me take a screenshots of all these comments we've still got a bunch of them and we didn't even get into the second part but uh what'd you think I think I'm just saying that comments pop up and there's some really good comments and and uh and points that are being raised taking screenshots of all of them the next time Joey keep going or we can do this on a different day we can even do it tomorrow if you'd like whatever you want to do um or Sunday whatever [Laughter] I got to get up at 5 a.m tomorrow so I'm five yeah well we better let you go then uh what what did you think of being on the uh being on the podcast thanks for all Mike's question Bob please yeah this was uh I was I was kind of worried I wouldn't be able to get to the technology part of it to work but this this was a really good experience and I really enjoyed being on this uh is this is this a podcast is that is this what this is called yeah I I found I I believe that you know doing it in this makes it more of a connection with Q message kids and I get fellowship with message kids and it's really it is podcast so it'll go on YouTube I'm gonna look on try to figure out how to post it on Spotify but yeah it's basically it's a podcast pretty much it just makes it more engaging and live and with message people to make it where they'll spend their time on this instead of reels or Netflix or whatever else they do with their time this is great um yeah and a lot of the points that were raised will give me some things to kind of think about and consider further yeah so yeah this is this is really great I really enjoyed it would you uh lead us in prayers we dismiss sort of thing we thank you so much for your grace and for your mercy to us and for making this time profitable I feel and I pray God that you're just bless all the young people that are watching Lord and just bless them in their in their uh relationships and help them little God that you'll give them wisdom to be able to navigate uh all the things that life and Satan and and all these things are thrown at the Lord Jesus I pray God into this blessing Lord it may be something that we will say will help them to encourage them and or we can just remind them all over that we've got a God that cares we're so thankful Lord that we've got a God to help us navigate these situations in life and and to lead us through life and lead us to somebody that we can spend and share life with we just bless us now when you are in your name amen amen thanks for coming on brother Bob God bless you all right God bless you