################################################################################
START OF FILE: 2023-09-08 - What do you mean by 0021 Part 1 - .txt
################################################################################

SERMON DETAILS
========================================
Date:     2023-09-08
Title:    "What do you mean by" #0021 Part 1
Speaker:  
Church:   What Do You Mean By
Type:     Church Service
Duration: 1h 5m
Language: English
URL:      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xG4AEmg44o
========================================

TRANSCRIPT
========================================
live in this live we will be covering questions such as how do you communicate with someone you don't fully trust how to communicate when both parties have gossiped about each other and both are avoiding forgiving each other that and more on this episode of what do you mean by episode number 21. what's up guys welcome to the live hope everybody's having an awesome night I am sounding I'm having an amazing night honestly Hayley cross Gracie Pruitt hello welcome to live this is going to be fun guys this is gonna be super fun I've had some awesome questions going should be good Lord willing what's up guys welcome to live I'm gonna wait for people to join here hi what's up 1006 pm what's up guys welcome welcome welcome what's up Eli and welcome to the live this live is about communication we want to do it effectively or ineffectively depending on what your intentions are um we look at different things like were we communicating to change someone's mind are we communicating to just to have fun are we doing it because we want to help somebody we everybody does Communication in different ways for different reasons and tonight I want to go over that I have someone that might be joining the live with me uh someone who asked me about communication today and maybe I'll be showing them some communication tips how to come across more effectively how to um say what you want to say in an effective way rather than uh being wrong so thank you everyone for being here I'm just going to pray then we'll go right into these questions yes let me put this into the chat and then I'll pray here communication questions are welcome pin that comment very good oh yeah let's see very good all right I'll go ahead and pray quickly we're thinking of this day and for everything I think for the great service we had at our churches please help us to um have a great live and help everyone to be more effective communicators by the end of it ask it and you know the Lord Jesus Christ amen what's up Sammy what's up let me all welcome to the live what's up Zoe we're talking about communication what we want to do so we want to be more effective in the way that we communicate with people there's different definitions to communicate there's different reasons why we communicate with people and the goal is to come across well nobody wants to come across the wrong way everyone wants to be looked at and valued in a esteemable way as if hey I'm valuable I what I have is valuable and I want others to do it too there's different levels of Effectiveness that you can have from it Zoe well Zoe left already so sorry um we want to be effective or we just want to have fun one thing in communication is you want to Define what you're trying oh she came back hello if you want to Define what you want to do is communication do you want to have fun do you want to almost preach do you want to change someone's mind are we wanting to you didn't leave I'm never going to pay attention hardly to that thing it says how many people left ever again or how many people here whatever I'm just going to ignore it um I just put the beard oil on my face so you're just coming along pretty cool I have to figure out how exactly I'm supposed to trim up these neck hairs so that should be interesting I have an older brother I'm going to ask him how to do that because he does that my dad just stays clean shaven all the time my dad actually should grow a beard because his beard is like has like black hair and gray hair and it is awesome one time he was stuck in Arkansas uh in Oklahoma for a couple weeks and he let it grow out and it looked amazing he should do that again but it's coming along uh one of the people that follow me got me the beard kit it is cool beer coming in yeah I should show up this next stuff but yeah yeah it is um so we've got the beard oil what's up Kayla beard oil that's just a few times a day I found out that it actually is designed for the skin the skin can get dry when it's not clean shaven so you have to rub it on there and it'll uh it'll make you not so itchy all the time you've got the roller the pills beautiful and amazing what's up Zay let me know if or when you want to join about communication we want to be effective in communication if we want to Google the definition of communication is the imparting or exchanging over in of information or news means of sending or receiving information such as phone lines or computers what are the pills for Crump them up no uh that's not that's not what um the pills are growth vitamins um there's their vanilla flavored capsules dietary supplement what's up say um it's got like vitamin A vitamin C vitamin D vitamin A bunch of vitamins and uh yeah they're supposed to help with uh let's see uh take two capsules first daily first thing in the morning or at night can we take them with or without meals Keep Out Of Reach of children too late um this helps you grow the uh it's steroids yeah I wish been um it's to help me grow the beard so we shall see vitamins to grow the beard there's this thing and I found out there's a bunch of little needles to puncture my face so cool um I still should have this next up but we'll get there what's up Mariah welcome to live we're talking about communication we all want to communicate with people we want to be effective or less effective or more effective some people are naturally better at communication than others some people use it as a way just to have fun and troll some people use that effectively some people use trolling as a cover for insecurity because when you Troll And when you just are all jokes you can't be held responsible for what you say people don't want to because it's all jokes it depends what you want out of communication you don't I don't know what that means Abby I'm saying a lot of things you've got to be specific questions how do you come across more effectively how do how can people take you more seriously throughout this any questions you guys have about communicating send them in it can be relationships it can be sales it can be preaching it can be discussing the message with someone we want to come across effectively we want to come across in the right way we want people to believe what we're saying we want people to uh there can be examples when we do communicate communication wrongs an important part of communication is listening what do you think someone could do to more effective communication with someone who doesn't listen well at all it depends there's different uh constructs of that if you're a girl and you're talking to a big guy it's just it's weird it's different if you're two guys talking there's different I looked up a guy called uh Charisma Matrix um or make commissioner on command or something like that uh anything bad on our shows I don't recommend but the parts that they you don't want to be more effective hey Abby is above us all guys I guess she's more of effective at communication than the rest of us put together so that's awesome um so like if someone's not listening to you whatsoever and you want to have more effective communication there's a few ways you can handle it so you can interrupt them to Oblivion if they're just cutting you off you can say their name over and over you say Hey Olivia Olivia or sorry Daniel's easier to say Daniel Daniel Daniel so as I was saying like and then you can do more like what I sometimes if I'm talking it's like and I was saying saying that that that that that that and just keep saying it over and over again until they shut up um or say and they'll shut up so you can go um but what you can do with them is you can take whatever they're saying to you and repeat it back to them it's one of the things Jordan Peterson says about discussing this with people is to be effective you've got to um listen to what they say and um steel man it's back to them so straw man means you take something that what someone's saying is and you say like for instance um this I'm going to use something that actually has some meat to it so that you guys understand what I'm saying so for instance Lauren Daigle dresses like a prostitute and then someone takes that and says you're saying she's a prostitute no I'm not saying she dresses like one and the reason why that matters is because of what Branham said just in a certain way the girl is just as guilty as the guy they both committed adultery and if you go to with the uh you could say so David you're saying that if she with the way that she's dressing she is a prosecutor what do you what exactly are you saying David rather than taking what they say and magnifying to be terrible so like steel Manning it is if for instance I say I think that uh what's the song um I speak Jesus as more anointed than from other uh to approach Church than it is from Lauren Daigle and then you say David are you saying that so David so you're saying that maybe it has more anointing because it's doctrinally right but I don't see how that matters or David does what exactly are you saying so you want to take it and steal man it to represent whatever the person's saying back to them in the most effective way of their argument instead of David you're saying Mr music outside of the message isn't anointed at all I'm just like no I'm sorry I'm so dumb what are you referring to for communication questions we want to be more effective in communication lately and so questions like uh I communication is I want to convey a message to you you want to convey it to me questions about communicating yes yes it is so we want to come across the way on communication we don't want to come across wrong if you're taking the wrong way or if you want to know how can I speak with more confidence how can people in arguments or in discussions where I disagree how can they feel like they're listening to me I I mess up in this stuff all the time I am not perfect I can fly off the handle I can rant about stuff I need to get better at this it's a lot of the time for my failure then I'm able to say hey in order to be effective take what someone's saying and try to repeat it back to them that's why I ask are there any more details of what you're trying to say before I respond because I don't want them to say oh wait I have something else to say when I respond I want to suck as much information from them as I can and then say Okay cool so what you're saying is is that whether you listen to Lauren Daigle Ray Boltz Dallas home or whoever else what matters is is your personal relationship with God David rather than who's singing it and I would have said yeah that's what I'm saying now I was ineffective though in my communication I made it sound like if you listen to Lauren Daigle you're a bad person I made it sound like I was saying if you don't listen to music made by message Believers you're wrong I was ineffectively communicating and so on twt told me hey David you can't teach someone or convince someone of a revelation so you can just tell them what you think on it and then pray and then say that's okay it's a revelation I have a personal revelation I can't stand music that's created and made by people who aren't living right most of the time there's no occasional Dallas home song or Michael Combs or Ray bolt or one of those guys I enjoy some of the music or the gays or whatever else but pretty much 99 of the time I'm going to listen to music made by message Believers because of my brain the way meticulous today is with Doctrine the personal revelation God's given to me I was not saying that the other side was wrong but this is communication this is the words that we say and it wasn't necessarily even what I was saying it was more how I was saying it so communication questions how can we be more effective in what we say some people have no confidence to say anything you know when they talk you know if I was doing this live and I uh I I talk like this you know you really wouldn't want to listen so everybody has tonality in the way that they speak right we and you say like oh David you just have this natural you have this natural but no one can be like you but that's Chris I've I've had a lot of I mean I've had a lot of experience training and I've had a lot of coaches tell me how to do better and stuff like that a lot affiliate by God's grace so they've got to give me a gift pants are amazing but also all of us have all these different types of tonalities everybody does if I ask Benjamin Browning what he thinks of the 18th century politics he might have a very sliver of an imagination what the answer to that is but he won't know exactly but if I ask Benjamin Browning hey Ben if I want to get in the shape of my life how do I do that he's going to perk up he's like hey I know about this so David here's what you do see what I mean all these tonalities whether it's me speaking directly to you or it's me speaking you me using the example of somebody that doesn't sound really uh really certain um about this what they're saying or someone that does sound certain about what they're saying you have all of these different tonalities within you already you already used all of these tonalities in your everyday life it's what we have to do with communication to be to come across more effectively they still listen more take what someone's saying and listen and try to understand what they're saying rather than rather than to contradict what you think they mean by it so if someone says they like pancakes and I say oh that means you hate waffles why do you hate waffles Grayson Sawyer no that's not fair but if I say oh you say you love pancakes does that what do you what do you think about waffles see I'm learning the same thing but I'm being more effective it's communication very random but I think you should get Randy on here who is Randy I don't know who you're talking about Levi like brother Trevor when brother Trevor communicates from a Pulpit his way of communication is so incredible and effective for me it's different from other people whatever else but he's really really good and we want to be effective I want to be effective there are times when I've been ineffective and when I've let my emotions get out of control yes sir water actually excellent amount of water you guys want to come with me we're gonna get some more water you're going on a field trip guys into the kitchen to get more water yes the rest of the house exists it isn't just my room even though my room it sounds like I guess when there's actual echo in a house I ran out of the Diet Coke caffeine freeze so uh all the except for one that one exploded so yeah it literally exploded in my uh in my in the refrigerator so water that's what I'm drinking tonight set this up I got water very good stuff water water is that if you want to join duck with this you can whatever you think you meant Randy from USC he's the guy who Ray volleyball all damn you about him oh I know who he is yeah if you want to ask him if he wants to join that'd be interesting so Randy is actually interesting so he has the most non-combative or non-confrontational yell I have ever heard in my life by far volleyball at four volleyball volleyball at four everybody volleyball the way that Randy yells is so um so effective and it's not doesn't sound uh combative it doesn't sound mean at all while you're actually drinking water when did this happen it's a secret how was your service our service was awesome by ghost gracers julica by that preached on um recognizing the change of the Sea of season you hate volleyball Abby okay well volleyball hates you too I guess hey what's up Addison what's up Mariah Mariah I just went through someone from twt that told me that I can't convince someone of a revelation I can just tell them what I think and go from there and we're talking about hey Addison we're talking about communication tonight how to be more effective I came across ineffectively when I talked about music I came across a saying that Lauren daigle's a bad person and no one should ever listen to her that's not what I meant I should have changed the way I approached it what I was really doing when I was showing you guys the differences between you know Michael Jackson's son and this other song the Beats is I was trying to make the case for the way I thought about it but you can't convince somebody of Revelation I should have been better I could have I could have communicated it better that'd be so bad a volleyball well I mean girls are usually pretty bad to be honest I mean that's not me that's not mean at all like for instance now what I just said it's communication so like and I said something that I knew would ruffle some feathers to get people involved um sounds great my pastor preached on the thoughts of God God they spoke to me during well that's great London that speaks to you during that what exactly uh did he say you would never see me play well Abby if you if you if you thought of your own of your own uh playing is terrible then it's probably pretty bad or you're just really humble um let me grab this question quickly let's see I've only push twice and someone actually told me I did really good so you can leave oh maybe I should leave I wasn't talking about you so I was talking about your friend Abby the one that said that you said was so bad at volleyball so communication I'm terrible all of this all so if you go to a camp every single thing in the gym the people addressing a certain way the people talking to each other all of it is one big and even on this live everybody commenting all the different things this is a communication game everyone's communicating different things everyone wants different things out of certain communication that's drawing there's sincerity there's goodness in balancing all of that in an effective way it's what I enjoy a lot and I said you're worse Zoe let's say well it was through my pastor she's for instance right now we have two elements to this conversation we have the Zoe and Abby our terrible volleyball part and that's kind of a goofy part and then we have the more serious part of Landon in the sermon in the Earth from his master and in this form of communication we've got to take a serious part and something uh funny and balance it communication boys it's interesting and I'll change my tonality you'll notice as I talk about different things so let's find the lowest of my pastor just kind of explaining how we should not think of our own standpoints but to think by the word and Landon specifically to you why did what he was saying stand out to you specifically in your situation so much we should not think from our own standpoints but to think we want to think to think by the word what does that mean to you I know why does it matter and then from Abby no for real hey maybe you guys are bad at volleyball who knows thank you for all the communicating Revival skills it's a good place to start I was in the combo too I'm not terrible yeah Abby be quiet I think you guys are just all terrible at volleyball like you just want to be people that are like not athletic whatsoever or really small and weak and they make a religion out of hating Sports it's hilarious it's like No it should play sports Mike really have you ever played were you ever good at them no what's up Caleb your boy just bought a hamster you bought a hamster Ben where's the hamster you must join the live and show us the hamster David you need to face Abby and volleyball really um guys I I don't know I just don't understand the hype about volleyball I get it with other sports but for some reason I just can't get it maybe I just don't understand it well I'm not one of the big big people that play it a whole lot um the generals definitely got done my alligator how did he get down your alley at Beth be specific how did they get what was what did he do to specifically speak about you and why did it affect you you hate volleyball yes and volleyball sucks okay so Lillian I don't play a lot of volleyball but if I could explain this from a communication point of view to communicate to you why does volleyball matter to these people so much so volleyball is a sport where guys and girls can play together that's pretty much it like I'm sure this there that that's me explaining it in the simplest way that I can guys and girls can't play basketball together because you have to let up and you can't play the same way basketball with a girl playing you just can't um we can't quite do the same with other things volleyball though makes it where it's team sport and there's no ball Hogs the same way there is a basketball and um it makes where guys and girls can put together and a girl can be just as valuable as a guy I mean not in jumping up and going way I'm over the net but in setting and bumping and things like that and the way that it's able to bring guys and girls together and for people to watch that's why people love volleyball camps you have to be part black to be good at volleyball or you guys have to have some Levi's genetics apparently I mean I've heard Levi's pretty good you know so we'll see um so like when I play volleyball I don't have any Technical Training I'm not super good I just have big cans pretty good hand-eye coordination from from ping pong and um I should everything like this you know see I think I'm completely black well your your profile picture is pretty black and white let's see Landon I have been letting my thoughts get to me and thinking down about myself but in the sermon in my pastor said throw out your own thoughts and take on the thoughts of God which is the word that's nothing but the truth let me show you another quote Landon that Brother Band said about your feelings and this is for everybody in the chat by the way hope you I hope everybody's listening brother Branham said and accept God's gift now that's the same thing it is by healing you accept him as your healer renounce your feelings it's not my feelings it's by faith say you're healed believe you're healed act like you're healed associate with those who believe in healing God will bring you right out to a perfect soundness of faith will not fail and that's not just the same with the healing we make a mistake of the message if we think that oh well all these things are just about people being healed no that's just debate in the hook to bring these same principles and the same way of communicating with yourself and with the Lord and with the devil when he puts thoughts in your mind about this renounce your feelings that's not just for healing that's for addictions that's for everything else so we want to be effective when the Bible I preached a sermon called ask and pray without ceasing the Bible says pray without ceasing so when you pray you pray Lord help me to feel less depressed and then you finish your prayer and Satan just wants you to think oh I feel depressed I feel so depressed all the time what in the world am I gonna do That's what Satan wants so what I want right now is to communicate to you that you need to ask and then pray without Susan to retain this mindset of I'm Healed and God is with me and I prayed for the depression to go away and the Bible says to call those things should be not as though they were but the Branham said um he said you'll never live above your confession it'll let you can never get anything from God until you first confess that it's already been done so you'll say Lord I Thank you for delivering me for my depression I thank you Lord for delivering me from this addiction regardless of how you feel renounce your feelings brother Branham said it's not my feelings it's by faith but the BAM said another time looking at the Unseen April 10th he said let me find this quote real fast he said regardless of your pain stand up regardless of your pain yep there we go I found it looking at the MC in April 10th brother Branham says do you believe every one of you then stand up to your feet I don't care what's wrong with you stand up on your fate and believe God all the ones to receive Christ at this time raise up on your feet anywhere you want to raise up your hands now to praise to God raise up your hands believe him here comes the man up out of the wheelchair let's say praise the Lord everybody stand up regardless of your pain and then literally two paragraphs down is he pulsating to you I'm the Lord that raised up Christ from the grave I'm the one that sent the Holy Ghost I'm the one that give the promise brother Branham has nothing to do in this I have he surrendered his life to me I'm using his Spirit I'm talking through his lips that's me I'm the Lord come down and why did I why did I read that like that it's because the exact way that I read that and the way that my tonality showed you guys the way that I read those words is the exact way or really close to it but brother Brown said it I've listened to that sermon of a hundred times in so much that I know that if you go to your table app and you pull up that quote and you go exactly to one hour 17 minutes and 43 seconds you will have that quote play and that is the exactly what the Bible said it let's see Beth says okay so my dad has been having dizzy spells and falling a lot and I had got my flesh for the day and so I stayed home to take care of him because I just didn't feel up to going well it's a good thing you appreciate on that then I'm gonna listen to this I sleep tonight and then we listen to it on the way to work here I mean listen to it listen to it all listen to it over and over again that's such a good quote our own thoughts aren't God's thoughts about us so this is another part of the um of the communication there's such a good quote our own thoughts aren't God's thoughts about us that's really good Lillian I'm gonna write that down hold on let me let me write that down I might preach a sermon with that title R let me see our own thoughts aren't God's thoughts about us what would God say communication be quiet you never even asked my calls you never call me so this is another thing of communication so me as a moderator I want to address the serious things and at the same time we have the serious part right here and then we have the funny part with Zoe and her friends over here and the way to do this isn't to say stop being weird stop being trolling or whatever no I have to manage that and manage to his conversation that's how you try to find a good moderator because I've got to try to communicate that and also body language is a big part of speech and communication no it's not body language is not a good part of communication if you're always standing with your arms crossed and your head down you'll appear closed off and unapproachable no you won't communication it is a big product speech and communication that is why I bought the mic that I did it's because communication over the phone is tonality when they can't see you it's just tonality that's all it is so if you're always standing with your arms crossing your head down if you're closed off and unapproachable yes you need to be effective we want to be effective it isn't just the words that you say it's how you say them it is the way that you stand there with your shoulders back it's the way that I show this it's the exact angle of my camera it's everything it's communication when I interviewed for my job my manager he didn't even have to ask me a certain question after I got the job but a month later you said David when I interview people for the job I always ask them do they have a a work at home setup when I saw the acoustic foam on your walls I knew I didn't have to ask you that why because I have designed this room to where when people look at this they think wow David takes his job really seriously all that yeah that's nothing here's the 400 mic that I bought and the other stuff so that I can come across more effectively in communication you know so I want to be effective and he didn't even have to ask me if I had a desk sub because what he saw proved to him that I care about my setup it was communication communication isn't verbal as well so what my setup shows David cares so much about the way that he comes off in his job he spent over seven thousand dollars on his setup all at once a little increments over the course of a year to be free radical story David they never answer my text too I'm texting them on here hey I understand Zoe it's really annoying people just don't respond to you she didn't call me we're being used as an example right now yes you are I know right Simon what's up Josiah how's it going so for instance when Joshua tells me about their all times of camp but he's talking to Simon McLaren I have no idea what the context is but I know that there's this there's a certain camaraderie there's a certain Rapport I have a SIM McLaren because he talked with him about the Joshua communication you never text me for real you're right to be honest period David for real I know David you should get LED lights in your room for your setup I am going to at some point there's a lot of black in here so I'm going to it's good stuff David cares for real it'll be so cool period yeah it's I I do care I want to come across effectively I have come across ineffectively very many times I let my emotions get out of control for instance people don't like talking about their failures I do if you want to say you're wrong you can talk about your feelings I let my emotions out of control with Kade and Eli on the live and I messed up and I had to correct that and after the live I asked a friend of mine hey how bad was it and he said it was pretty bad he said someone even said you you came up as insincere in your apology and I won't have that I'm just like you know what fine you know it went on my heart and I prayed about it for a couple hours then I did the video because I want to communicate that I do want to help and I do want to come across as effective but if I am wrong about something and I mess up I am always by God's grace more than willing to say you know what I failed you guys I was wrong because I'm not perfect not at all because Shane 2024 hey I'll be Trump's running man I'll try it could be interesting who knows but that's like for instance there's a big one politics I know other guys who spend thousands on tools but still couldn't build a birdhouse to save their lives Josiah I'm not quite sure what your see friends is this I could assume there are many things about Josiah I could assume that what he's saying is David since you spent a lot on your house on your on your setup that means nothing about the way that you work or he's sarcastically saying he's actually he's actually indirectly telling me that he really likes my setup or he's talking about a story of what he's went through with his life I don't know but the worst thing I could do is take what he's saying and assume that he's somehow attacking me and then attack that assumption and then he says that's not what I meant I'm like oh shoot I was wrong communication guys you can't return the audio through text so instead of saying hey look Josiah listen here I have no idea what he means by what he's saying he put a lot of periods at the end so I don't know what he means being able to admit your faults is something most people can't do well I have a lot of faults so I had to learn to admit them otherwise I would never be a fact one of the reasons why is because I preach I want people to help I want people to look at me and think I'm effective David can never go live with us on Saturday night I'm not probably not going live Saturday tonight because I'm going to go to serve on Saturday night with everybody and then drive home um Zoe the time we go live it'll probably be if we do uh it'll probably be on a weekend later on but I'm joining the live I'm not doing one Saturday night so Saturday night after the service at Johnson City I'm going to be uh I'm going to be driving home until like late at night so I really can't I was attacking what you said but I was totally joking see for instance so there's that I had no idea what he meant and one of the things I've had issues with on this podcast and some of it has been because people are you know in on purpose purposely trying to get me to slip up we're purposely trying to troll me or whatever else but there's sometimes when Josiah is just messing with me you know he's adult he's 20 he's got three kids you know I didn't know but I asked he's I was attacking what you said but I was totally joking and you know what he's actually right it doesn't matter it doesn't matter if I spend 50 million dollars in my setup if I'm ineffective I'm going to be ineffective that God's grace God's made me where I'm effective so that's kind of cool don't know how to go to but never put the seat back down oh okay Joy beautiful wonderful gonna be in Tennessee yeah I live in Tennessee and I'm the only 10 I see I'm kidding um there's also other ways because like if you notice so the communicating right now I'm eating my first meal of the day hey you decided that's great I just did that about 20 minutes or about like uh see how long was that about 40 minutes ago there's a plate of casserole from my mom it's all that I ate today because I looked at the scale yesterday and I was not impressed with my progress so all I mean today is one plate of casserole my mom made silly boy I think granny need to give you weapons hey Abby okay black communication this Mexican cornbread is awesome I'm jealous now I I really do want some Mexican important right now sounds delicious sounds like they really uh I don't know I was trying to think of a pun that involved the Border but I couldn't so I'm hoping the meetings test you're gonna be good I'm gonna be in Virginia for brother Ron's okay cool um David don't starve yourself actually ironically when um you think the opposite of that is true because on Wednesdays with me songling all that I have a much easier time fasting like I don't feel bad whatsoever right now at all um so the little something so I'll be fine how was your day my day was awesome you can have me when you're ready David okay sweet oh here it's about to be live what's up Jesse we're talking about communication welcome to live why do I do that I want people to feel welcome when they come on because they are laying up either I'll be in Tennessee too shall see we want to be effective we want to be right we don't even want to be right we want to be effective you'll be more effective saying you're wrong in the right Spirit than to say you're right in the wrong spirit for the website I'd rather be wrong in my Doctrine and right in my spirit than to be right in my Doctrine and wrong in my spirit even if I was right about the music thing kicking Kaden Eli out to life that was uncalled for that was completely on me I was 100 wrong that killed me I'm gonna say honestly puts a feeling in my chest I don't like saying that but if it helps me be more effective with people awesome even if I just serve as a bad example of not what not to do thank god um you know I've been closer has been upside down I have a fear of falling out uh statistically you're more likely to die of cancer Lillian so if that helps that you're statistically more likely to die of cancer than you are from falling in of a roller coaster meetings but I already plan to get up in the room so I'll probably go put down his lecture very cool they do it for three months so I'm just kidding Abby love you shut up okay love you upside down roller coasters asked me yes it is Earl over like I love roller coasters let's see yeah hotels are way to way to night right now by the bronze okay Messiah McLaren to communicate with you I know you're the one who stole my wallet and I knew the back Saturday okay so for instance is in this in reading these comments it may cause my brain to be like what in the world was I just talking about so I have to communicate back to what I was talking about isn't really buying preaching it brother Ron's I don't know I think brother Josh Bennett's preaching about at this one David isn't happy to mean to me yes yes of course she is yeah you're definitely the victim here sorry quarters and dimes oh beautiful Here Comes crazy yeah hey what's up bro how's it going pretty good pretty good how about you going great going awesome I don't have any notes by the way talking about communication I've just been talking about my failures yeah yeah um I always think maybe we could talk about some of the things we were talking about earlier with uh you know having problems coming up with the words to say um processing thoughts into speech okay awesome so what when you say that what are you referring to exactly explain it to me like let's say you're having a conversation with somebody and in your mind you kind of know what to say and you just can't put it into words um you forget words like I have a hard time pulling words out of my brain that I know but they're just not there whenever I'm in the conversation like in the moment it's so hard to like form a thought okay so what have you done to try to fix that um I'm basically just now figuring this out I basically like this just now noticing this about myself so now I'm trying to you know educate with YouTube and stuff like that but uh that's why I'm asking you because I know that's something you're pretty good at because you do that pretty much much you know doing that and other things with the trauma growing up and other stuff like that and everybody has it within them so if you were to tell me like what do you do for a living Construction basically okay like what does that include exactly explain it okay so what I do is Property Maintenance I do small repairs on homes and I communicate with customers I arrive to the job I knock on their door I asked them to show me their issue because I get a vague description of uh of what's going on at that address um so usually I have to get more information from the homeowner so I knock on the door I say how you doing I'm here to look at this issue can you show this to me and and then they show me I figure out what needs to be done I make the repair I let them know I'm done and uh and then I'm out so I mean I do I deal with communication just not much I mostly just working by myself all day every day um two hours drive time well one hour to the job one hour back and then all the little jobs in the middle all day so it's just me and my thoughts most of the day okay what what would in communication with customers what are you trying to communicate to them when you're when you're speaking like you're just tell them about the job but what do you say to these customers what are those conversations like um it's basically just listening to them tell me about the job I'm not really um pretty much output so so to speak like I'm not really talking at them I'm basically just getting information from them so so you're learning about their situation in order to figure out what you're supposed to sell them basically yeah we'll not sell them you know what I'm what I need to do to fix this issue they're having I'm not I'm not a person I'm just a repair guy just at this point okay you ever like went door to door to try to get find people that need jobs or what is your what does your area look like exactly um I've thought about that so one aspect of my job that I could explore is roof sales it's kind of a side hustle in my company that I can do whenever I want is just go out and uh look for roofs in need replace knock on their door I had never done that though because door-to-door intimidates me too much going out and trying to sell something to somebody that I have not had any prior communication with is uh intimidating the ones that I have sold or Word of Mouth basically I've sold maybe like four or five so why why exactly is it intimidating to go door-to-door for you I would say confidence I like it and I know I'm getting deep here but what do you mean by confidence in doing that how would let's see I ask you this so instead of me just saying what the answer is asking this way how would you go in the door trying to find people who have problems with their roofs and need help be any different from what you already do how would it be different basically because so here's the thing with my job oh by the way before you before you go to you can you please tell people that you messaged me about this you asked me to do this before we do this so people don't think I'm all weird just you know coaching you on communication or something like that you please tell people okay okay yeah I messaged David about this later this afternoon that I am trying to build my communication skills because I know he's very good at this and I asked him if he could do a live and he could just have a live all about this topic there we go so so um what's keeping you from going door to door exactly like I mean I'm guessing do you have a lot of jobs right now or what's the what's looking like right now as far as jobs to do yeah sure um so in my job I get really worn out and my only time to do door-to-door sales if I wanted to do that door-to-door um I would it's not door-to-door necessarily it'd be me like driving looking for a roof that needs replaced stop in knock on the door ask them if they were interested in getting their roof replacement and leave them a card or trial on the spot and I thought I could just literally just knock on a door hand them a car and it'd be that simple and I did do that I left it in their mailbox I didn't have any um contact with the actual person and I didn't get anything um but in my actual job my full-time job what I do is uh these are HOA um these are HOA people basically they pay fees so that everything that I do is already paid for in their fees they are up they are part of a property management group and they pay their HOA fees and the property manager sends me out to do these repairs so the homeowners are I'm not one of these homeowners I'm paid hourly by my company to go out and do these so I'm not selling them anything so selling something where I have to go out and sell them a roof is completely different I'm not used to this what I I actually did sell cars back in 2018 I didn't know that yeah it was brief I sold cars for like five months at Volkswagen and I was horrible at it basically the ones that I did get were pretty much given to me by the sales manager I did get a I think I did get a couple organically but it was this very uh unnerving for me to try to do that and so I was like man I don't know if I can do this that was all my life I wanted to sell cars and doing it like actually doing it freaked me out and I didn't think that was for me like I don't I was like dude I don't think sales is for me I'd rather have something a little more low-key where I'm like in my own level but I think that if I would have stayed in that my communication skills would have you know you know improve dramatically and so another thing another thing why they probably are not good not an excuse but I was homeschooled all my life and I never really was around like the youth in church so I didn't get a chance to really hang out with kids and and you know become you know social I was always pretty socially awkward basically anybody that I think anybody that I hung out with was just family basically mm-hmm I see okay so in what what specifically are you wanting to get better at in Communications um I would say just being able to form a thought and be able to complete it in a sentence without uh interruptions without stuttering uh and uh have more confidence in what I'm saying and a more authoritative tone okay and how do you think you can get there I don't know all right all right cool perfect perfect so what I've done is try to understand your situation that's actually sales what do you think sales is um giving people confidence in you in some ways sales some people think sales is just trying people to buy something it's not that can be part of it but sales in it can be explained in many ways it's removing pain from people's lives by connecting with people not being good to communicate it would be at the certain parts of communication is more effective than being good at it what you come across as is someone who knows what they're doing when it comes to construction and who wants to genuinely help so if you can communicate that to people then they won't look at you as a Salesman to look at you as wanting to help so if you go to their door and you're wanting what kind of jobs you want to do for people if you go to door-to-door what would you be doing for them um well well I'm starting a handyman business with my dad and but it wouldn't be door to door it would basically be all online and business cards we would not be going door to door um but if I did Roofing sales primarily which I'm I'm probably not going to do that but I could still do it as a side hustle that's more of a door-to-door type thing basically you go drive you look for roofs that need replaced knock on their door ask them if they considered a roof replacement and uh and then go from there does what you do how much see what is usually a problem that you fix at a house like when it comes to roof like it does it save the money or to save them in the hospital like what does it do for the customer exactly what I do full time yeah I think basically it's all old people that um they're retired and they don't have anything else to do rather than just look at all the little things that are going on in their house a lot of what I do is gutter repair and gutter cleaning uh basically an older person will see dripping from a gutter Corner scene or something and that drives him crazy if they see a drop dripping from a gutter and so I come in and you know I remove the old seal and do new sealant I'll also do uh roof repairs like if they're if they got a leak then I can go up and and seal that area um I can do uh rotten wood like trim repairs on the outside of a home a conceal around windows so what I'm trying to figure out isn't the what I'm trying to figure out the why why would they care about this like what is it for instance I'll tell you this way um we my company we sell Cloud infrastructure so companies don't have to buy their own computers and manage them and manage all this you know electronic stuff it saves them a ton of money of having to buy this thing is called sand store uh storage area networks that cost like 80 grand a piece we do that for people that just pay us to put it in the cloud so with them you know a different way of explaining it is you know figure out a way at a high level to describe what you're doing so if you if I went door-to-door mowing lawns you know what am I doing I'm helping The Lawns look better I'm providing a value providing a service it isn't the what it's the why why do they want their goods fixed because when the gutters get all filled up they overflow they might leak they might drain um you can get your roof all messed up and then you link it into your house and then you have you have to repair that you have to repair the uh the roof you have to repair this you have to repair everything and then you've got something that would cost you what a thousand dollars for Jose to do versus you know a forty thousand dollar job that's the one so yeah that being the why what's the why what you do for people what does it save them what is it how does it what pain does it removed from their lives potential things matter yeah yeah yeah I see what we're saying yeah it's peace of mind really to prevent uh it's a small issue before it creates a bigger issue you know fix the roof leak before they have to replace like all the wood sheathing on the roof um fix the gutter leak before they have to replace the foundation or something crazy like that you know because if a gutter leaks for a prolonged period of time without attention then it could cause serious Foundation issues and what would that cost people like serious Foundation issues what do you mean serious Foundation issues well water gets underneath the foundation of the house erodes the dirt and then the house can start to settle dramatically and that can cause a serious problem what do you mean by serious problem I'm not a foundation guy I can't I don't know I can't really tell you uh ballpark how much money would it take to fix it if they ignore it I mean it would cost tens of thousands I mean possibly okay so going George you want to come is you you're look a certain a certain percentage of people that you knock doors on are going to need this work right yeah you know certain people command people aren't and you're when you knock on these doors really what you're wanting to do is to separate the sheep from the goats basically there's going to be people people who are jerks or don't want it but there's a small percentage of people that if you come across right they will listen to you and you'll help them so you don't go to door like hey I go to door-to-door I've helped people save hundreds of thousands of dollars on their houses by checking for you know checking for potential problems and um I would like to do a free estimate in your house to see if there's any problems with it so that I can save you from any issues that might cost you tens of thousands of dollars down the road later would that be would that be all right if I do that for you so then you're not going to sell them anything you're trying to say hey I'm looking to see if I can save you some money here and help you and they're gonna say yeah sure and then you find the problem like hey in 20 years this could cost you eighty thousand dollars I can fix it tomorrow for 800 so whatever I don't know what it is yeah and you say hey I'm just I'm not looking and what you need to uh communicate to them door-to-door is indifference if I asked you all about your phone I want to sell you your phone you're not going to care but if I want to do a difference you're like that means I don't care whether you buy it or you don't you say hey you have a problem I would like to fix it for you this is my card this is my estimate call me let me know I'm not looking to sell you anything I just am going door to door I wanted to find people that I can help them that right destroy the door sales that's the actual thing that's what you're meaning to do so if you want to communicate that what would that look like going door-to-door for you and how do you think you could communicate that to people yeah yeah seriously I see where you're saying how do you think you could do it because you're pure genuine you're you're purely genuine you don't have a Salesman bone in your body which is awesome people hate salesmen they do they hate people who come up as like hey I have this really good phone you need to buy the iPhone 15 Pro you need to buy it people hate that for what they love is someone who connects with them and wants to take away pain so how do you think you could do that with people that are doing whatever else like what do you how do you think you could do that well um I care about helping people and especially people that are not educated on issues with their home um also like you said I am genuine and I have a lot of integrity and I'm honest and I don't really I'm not trying to push something on someone am I trying to push a sale on anybody to make money I'm just I'm just trying to you know I'll be my family and um also wasn't I lost my thought you're fun so here's what you do when you lose a thought you want to go back to your roots when I lose my thought and I'm uh behind the pulpit pre-reaching or song leading say you know what I lost my thought I have no idea what I'm about to say next but I know God is good and God is amazing and when you could do with that like I have no idea where I was going to go next but I want to help people that's my intention yeah and sales is about how you come across to a client so you're going to the door you're knocking the door you're gonna say hey look my name is Isaiah I'm going through the door seeing if I can um help you save money on your house or if I can provide any value or whatever your come up with the value proposition and then see if they're interested in you looking around and helping them if you can communicate that then if you can communicate indifference or you're like hey it's fine a lot of some people need what we do some people don't I'm not looking to sell you on the on to find the people that don't need it I'm looking to find the ones that do and so communication is all about taking what you know in your heart you're communicating that stop worrying about being perfect you're never gonna get neither am I so like when I was selling cars I did it for three months not five so cool there wasn't my manager he told me he said David stop trying to come off cross so perfectly just be simple make it have you ever you ever heard the real kiss say keep it simple stupid keep it simple stupid make it as simple as possible hey I'm helping people save hundreds of thousands of dollars in the houses by looking for problems using my 30 years of experience um in the family business to help you save money on your foundation can I please look around your house to check if there's any problems that might cost you a bunch of money later on in life would that be all right then you come across cesarean and regularly like oh I don't want you to sell me I don't want to buy anything like hey I don't want to sell you anything I don't want you to have any problems with your house how do you make a living then well actually sir I I would rather have no one have ever have any problems with their house but actually uh experience I'm stripping up I'm stuttering I don't know all about this but what I can do is I can talk about it to remove its hold it has over my brain to say that you just you know you want to communicate them to the hey some people will need what I do I'm looking for those that do to remove that from their life and save them a ton of money but I hope you won't be one of my customers but I pray that you'll be one of my clients you want to connect with people once they realize that when you go under the door-to-door they know it's daunting they're thinking I don't want to go through the door it's so it would be so uh nerve-wracking but they're like hey this guy's sincere this guy's actually trying to help this guy literally just told me he hopes I don't need what he's selling but you're not selling anything you're replacing pain with something better so if you can take that and say hey I'm just trying to see if I can help you or see if I don't need to and if you genuinely mean that then it's right so like when I wanted to communicate that I was wrong but whatever else I might put on my on my page it came across because what you're saying is less important than what's in your mind you want to communicate them that you want to help them and if that's what you mean just talk naturally and be simple so pretend I find the person I just opened my door you go under the door this is role play this is this is gonna be hard do it let me know but this is you want to come across effectively and you can disconnect yourself emotionally and you want to come across as like effective and that you care and you want to help so whatever it is um I'm the I'm the guy open this door like hello what can I do for you hey how you doing sir I'm good okay I just wanted to uh inspection around your home I wanted to see if you had any uh issues um that uh you might need repaired I'm a handyman I'm local I was driving by and uh dude bro that was one of the best I've heard for a first try honestly so you wanna do this go into the second part first you want to say Hey look so it's a script so you're right I started with my job with the script right but it changed it's not about the script it's about what you're trying to come across with so it's uh you know like hey I'm hey there I'm David what's your name sir Stephen Stephen nice to meet you I'm Isaiah I'm a handyman I went I'm going across the neighborhood looking for looking for problems in people's houses to see if I can help them save some money on not having to repair it later I hope that you're not one of my customers would it be all right for me to look around your house uh to see if I'm right yeah just something like that it come across as effective I could put across as a Salesman just now you'd come across more effectively than me because you actually know what you're talking about here's the thing like what just happened what if I just start rambling well I guess yeah I guess I would need a script but what if I just start rambling to some random stuff and then I'll I'll lose my train of thought as soon as they open the door and then I'm just sitting there like trying to think of something to say which is happens a lot it's one of the reasons why I want to talk to you about it all right do you play sports today no have you heard questions say what did you ever play anything I did all right uh wow you're the worst that's the worst okay actually you're playing basketball what do you do when you miss a shot if your goal is to make 10 a row without missing you got to keep going you can keep doing it keep shooting and statistically starting out are you more likely to make it more or Miss more Miss more and if you missed more would you would be as upset as upsetting as it would be since you know it's part of it would you really let it affect you ultimately no it would still hurt but you'd know it's part of it if you go to the door there's gonna be times you're like and you don't know what to say it's going to happen that's why people some people don't like doing it so like doing it wrong is part of getting it right if you're not failing you're not even trying Denzel Washington said that um so yeah it's just something uh if you want to do it you could and you're not selling someone give up right you're not selling anybody you're trying to find people who need what you do never give in to the language of untrust trying to sell people you're trying to uh find people that need what you do and if you communicate hey I hope you never I never have to try to say anything I'm trying to find people that need it because I'm trying to save you a bunch of money down the road yeah in your face you will like when you're bait when you had your baby and and you know you had to change the first diaper was it like a smooth experience through and through nah I was the first one to change or die for for real okay if she had four kids if she had quadruplets four kids and you had to change all those numbers do you think it'd be perfect every time if she had four kids at the same time no that's that's crazy but is that part of getting better yeah so suspended with this I mean I I wouldn't have a choice in the matter I'd have to get in there and start doing it you know yeah so I mean when it comes to communicating I'm gonna try to do this because you know I'm not trying to get you to go door I'm trying to get you to think of communication in a different way you're not trying to say things perfectly you're trying to communicate to someone what you want them to know and that comes across Less in the words that you say which that is part of it but more in the way that you say it so a way that you can do that is if you're by yourself a lot you can talk to yourself don't just think in your mind oh only weirdos talk themselves yeah only people I've never heard of renegger Communicator ever tell me that in my life um to yourself talk to God back and forth uh you'll get better and better go through talk tracks like I'll think of uh I'll think of ways like I'll think of a conversation with a customer before someone even says anything at all I'll plan ahead that conversation before it even happens so you just talk to yourself and then record yourself talking and listen to yourself saying things to improve the way you say things so you have the confidence within you just need to change the way you say it like I can do it I do have confidence because you do have confidence when you go out there and you're fixing your roof are you unconfident or are you confident no I'm thing because I've done it why because you've done it so many times so how would you get more more effective in communication do it more yes exactly yeah that's not even super hard that's why I'm not good is because I don't get enough opportunities to like I said my job I'm just solo I'm just solo I I don't work with anybody I have my own band I drive out to this job most of the time I only have to interact with the homeowners most of the time hardly ever do I actually have to talk to them so basically I'm going all day eight hour shift without talking to anybody and I have to talk to myself and I it drives me crazy I have to be listening to uh to like um to podcasts or something yeah you know so it says anyone you know you could practice on people from church family um you could practice some people if you want what do you think about that um yeah see uh I don't know if I could do that you know Stephanie and I could I mean Shiloh I could do Shiloh um you know that's about it you know let's see well you know in order to get some a bit do get better at something just do it a bunch there's like people think I see David's putting in the effort drinking the water going to beard yes sir yes yes I am this is my third person yes sir I'm glad to see it dude well I am um crazy is the other one yeah you want you want to be more effective so just like it is difficult and it is daunting but what you want to do is I would you just want to do it more you don't have to do it a lot but communicate and pretend like you're a David your skin is going for the water okay sweet uh thank you um but you just could be more it's it's super hard but um you can do it it's just repetitions all of this stuff is yeah I can do what I can do by God's grace with communication because I've talked to over a hundred thousand different people statistically a lot of them it's just what I went through unfortunately it's a lot I went constant customer service from when I was 16 to when I was now um so 20 what how are you now yeah I'll be 23 in October it's just interactive it's communication I would you could go on Omegle you know and talk to people there you could yeah Omega see it's it's embracing see there's it's it's a game do you play any board games um what I hardly ever once a year maybe okay so let's play hitting the hammer on the nail you do it more you get more effective at it talk to yourself more and you want to come across coherently and effectively and watch YouTube videos about tonality you want your tonality to come across certain ways however you want to come across change it to that and do it and like discuss things like things that are controversial talk out both sides to yourself like I think people yeah I think people I think pro-choice is stupid I think pro pro uh pro-life is stupid and then literally argue it out in your brain I think and then like practice like I don't know what to say what do I do practice it out do it over and over and over and over again before I even talked to you I'm already thinking okay how am I going to ask him this how am I going to ask him that if he when he's probably gonna say this what am I going to say back if I were to ask you why you want to be better at communicating I'm going to think that it's because you want to be more effective you want to you I might have accidents in a request my apologies um when they come across more effective you want to be able to bring things up for memory more and you know that's what we call schizophrenia well for some people they can think it's that it's intelligence is what it is it's adaptability and you can do it and the more you say you can the less you can it's just you can please you don't have to talk about you just do it so you could ever actually the door-to-door estimates with co-workers he doesn't have any co-workers he works by himself right yeah pretty much yes due to the studying nursing and other similar activists practice on each other before the end of the field experience both ways um well you could uh what do you think after all that I've told you what do you think you're going to do moving forward to be more effective at communication um I think what I'm gonna do is um try to educate myself more watch YouTube and I think that I'm gonna put in more of an effort to um to talk more with people around me and uh I'm gonna read and I think