################################################################################ START OF FILE: 2023-08-28 - What do you mean by 0018 With Olivia Calini - .txt ################################################################################ SERMON DETAILS ======================================== Date: 2023-08-28 Title: "What do you mean by" #0018 With Olivia Calini Speaker: Church: What Do You Mean By Type: Church Service Duration: 3h 50m Language: English URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6gRxebX_1k ======================================== TRANSCRIPT ======================================== everybody to the live this is going to be what do you mean by number 19 with Olivia colini she is married she's going to be answering questions such as how do girls like to be approached her thoughts on rizzing someone why friends first isn't very plausible so if you would like to see that come and join what's up guys welcome to live hello I'm gonna wait for people to join our guest tonight is Olivia colini when she joins then she will be on the live with us should be great Lord willing what's up Sawyer I remember actually going on the bus the Louisiana Camp bus with Mr Sawyer before he was married what's up guys Olivia as soon as you're ready to join go ahead and request to join with an extra handsome oh thank you Levi I'm sure you look perfect as ever as you always do today I what's up Mariah hi I went white water rafting today that's why my hair is what it is for the first time by the way and it was amazing completely worth it it was incredible we're awesome yeah I had Ruth and Anna and Alex trun Thomas and I what's up welcome to the live thanks for having me I'm excited to finally be on here yeah thanks for thanks for coming on and one uh here with that youth to another what's up for one kid Without Youth to another oh yeah I know the feeling I've been there not many people can relate it's tough yes I saw a video actually where I said your first 12 seconds matter a whole lot so you got to kind of give a preview the first 12 seconds so like when no one was here I was just like what do you mean by number 19 uh and I went across a few of the questions you'll be answering should be interesting okay um and they also said just to go ahead and go through it and now I'm with people to join so I'm just gonna pray quick and then we'll go right into it all right all right thank you for this day for everything Lord thank you for keeping me safe in the white water rafting and as though that you'd be able to spread this live hope everything goes the way you want to ask you all in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ amen all right guys so tonight really the pot topic is around relationships uh any questions you have you can put them in the chat or preferably the Q a and I can just type them up for the future I'm gonna grab a drink I'll be right back um should be great it'll be great Lord knowing um Thursday I'll be getting my new mic so that'll make this even better all right so Olivia how are you today I'm great I had a nice and met up with friends about 45 away there's a girl from Canada who used to be part of Youth who got married and dipped to another country so when she comes back she likes to go to the skirt store and then we try to find a Posh Restaurant over there so it's just like shopping shopping isn't my thing but that's what they do around here so I joined a skirt store I'm not familiar well basically it's it's run by midnights I believe so probably girls watching know them better as the Main Street Exchange a lot of message girls wear their skirts so it's called Square store up here oh it's sweet I didn't even know that existed yeah there's not too many locations so whenever people come up in the area they're like oh the skirt store and they always stop by there great yeah too much attention to that even if you did hear about it so very good so I guess I'll just go through these so around this the topic tonight guys is relationship questions so I'm gonna put this in the chat relationship questions welcome now I will have to clarify if people ask like questions like what do I do if the person divorced me or something because that's not our office but you know Olivia's married and stuff like that so our first question was like how do girls like to be approached well every girl's going to be different so there is no like buy the book you have to do this this and this and it's going to work magically that obviously doesn't exist however I think that whenever you approach a girl are you saying like if you're interested in her very potential interest let's say interested whenever you approach a girl you need to be courteous like a gentleman and sincere like above all I think you should be genuine and sincere don't we have put on don't pretend to be somebody or not or just you know present yourself in this way that you aren't normally just be you and be genuine because girls can pick up on face girls don't want fake okay all right what about when they're like uh in their um in their pods or with their friends or whatever else how are we supposed to do that Okay so so somebody said you like coined the phrase like girl pods right because that's something I think that was for the Trevor Eamon that did that yeah okay um I'm assuming you mean like the the clicks of girls that just stay huddled and they and they Branch off ever um say they're not interested in anybody getting to know them so don't bother really because unavailable do they really expect a guy to come and approach them they are purposely building a wall around themselves they they have to try too right like they have to make themselves available the women in the olden days when they wanted a guy to notice them they dropped their handkerchiefs do some something women if you want something you have to make yourself available so they should either mix with guys that they're related to or get involved in a group activity that the guys and girls are both active in at camp they have to do something that opens the doorway for somebody to feel free to come up and interact with them if they're refusing to do that and intentionally putting up a barrier I would just say they really don't want anybody to make a move really interesting so you're saying that if they're in their pods and they're like almost never by themselves they don't actually want to be approached they're not doing anything to allow a guy to feel comfortable doing it if they if they are secretly Desiring to be approached but then they're too shy to Branch out of their pods they're making it tough for themselves and the guy like they're not going to get what they want by staying in the pause if they truly want to be approached by a guy they have to open up a spot for a guy to come in and a guy's not going to do that in a pod you know if they're not trying then yeah Eli that's one that's the next question we'll go through that in a little bit um all right so Olivia what about when uh people say like oh well in order to break and I think it's completely wrong because it's just you're asking for a load of trouble but um saying oh well in order to have talk to girl pods you need to bring your own guy pod and like infiltrate the pod the girl feels surrounded and intimidated I don't think I'll have her eye on her on one of the guys who came up with a group of other guys if she's in her Grandpa because she's shy I highly doubt she's gonna feel comfortable talking to the guy she likes when he's surrounded by his guy friends I disappointed that happening I agree you gotta have one-on-one stuff you have to have connection I've recently had a problem staying single with other girls wanting me I don't want to get into a young relationship what are some tips to hold the girls back Levi there's nothing you can do I'm sorry like you are the Giga Chad of the Giga Chad it's like there's nothing you can do appreciate the admiration but don't feed into it if you really don't want anything it's up to you you don't have to ask them for their contact information don't interact on their social media don't take their number it can't go farther yeah well yeah that makes it makes sense maybe they don't want to be approached because that's made sense to me like usually people that um don't want you to talk to them they're gonna stay well do you think there's a case of people that want to be approached but actually you know what that makes sense because like the guy's the ones that make things happen and the women make themselves almost available so that things can make happen and that they don't want to uh someone to talk to them then they're not going to make themselves available whatsoever yeah and I've seen instances um many years ago with probably girls either right about like pre-teen or just becoming a teenager they liked a guy but they were terrified of him knowing so it's like oh the guy likes coming quick hide me it's like one of those passing face things like they have a crush but nothing comes out of it and they're just running from their Crush which I don't quite understand either unless it's a security thing but okay scenario question hey uh girl a lives in stay day B boy lives in state B both boy and girl are interested in each other who would you recommend should be the one traveling to see each other the most quote unquote she's talking about courting or dating or dating very invested yeah so there's a guy named Mike like girl named Rachel they like each other girl lives in Tennessee a guy lives in Ohio who should travel to see each other more in my opinion the guy should make like the first move ultimately so he should go meet her parents make sure they have an approval to even continue seeing each other and then from there the way plane tickets are dragging or whatever like travel is so expensive so when you're interested in somebody you have that long distance it is a huge investment and I think it should be shared um because the guy automatically has more of a financial burden later in life like if the relationship progresses you get engaged and married normally he takes on most of the financial burden but until you're at that stage I think it should be shared when it comes to traveling the girl visits the guy and then the guy visits the girl now if you slip an extra visit or two in there now and then great but I think it would be nice to alternate yeah I see what you mean someone said fall but the girls traveling the most what does it show um it depends so like a guy who has his life together he's going to have the financial capabilities to visit more and depends on the girl and the girls family and the distance between them both as well um if it's a serious relationship the girl's gonna need to meet the guy's parents I would say ultimately it depends it depends on like strips the girl's parents are how strictly guys parents are stuff like that who the guy is or the girl is how old they are how much money he makes ultimately I'd say um at least one out of four times the girl needs to visit the guy because she needs to get to know his family as well as him getting to know her preferably I'd say it'd be almost half and half with the slight Edge being given to the guys and she's the one um you know probably is going to provide the financial part of it right and there's always going to be that Nuance like there's always that exception to the rule like you mentioned a girl with strict parents I've heard of somebody who is dating they were like the youngest of nine kids and her dad was so strict she was never ever allowed to go down and visit her boyfriend in Florida until they got married as far as I know he was always having to visit her always and I just think that's I mean parents are different teach their own but in my opinion that's that's like an exception it's a bit more obsessive than what most parents would require yeah Lord willing they're going to be reasonable at least and human beings rather than you know a weird uh God complex situation from the girl's dad somebody had asked a follow-up question about what if the girl is traveling the most what does that show money what do they mean by that like traveling the most to go visit the guy he's not playing for with effort I think I said uh I don't know it depends on where it lives what a situation is I'd say also if a girl uh you see the guy wants to go to visit him and he offers like hey I'll just I'll pay for the tickets there like that or pay for their travel and be right let's see I did we did go through that though um how to get a girl to acknowledge me as a living human being Olivia oh hold on the person I just asked confirmed that that was what they meant um so I'm going to answer the first if the girl is doing all the traveling and the guy isn't willing to put forth the effort for the money if he's not willing to put forth the time effort and money to go visit the girl I would say he's not actually that invested drop him like a hat find somebody who is willing to show up and put an effort to make you feel special like you're valuable I agree if if it's if a girl is important up to me I will drop everything to make things happen The Only Exception at all that I could see is if they're taking care of their dying parents or old parents or if he's working 80 hours a week or 90 hours a week or something but ultimately people make time for what they want to make time for people make happen what they want to make happen and a lot of times it's really going to be more along the lines of he uh it's not important enough for him to make happen right um and also if he doesn't have the if he's not visiting you is that because he doesn't want to or is that because he doesn't make enough money to if he doesn't make enough money to visit you then how is he going to provide for a family exactly yeah and it shows where his priorities are like like you said if somebody wants something to happen they'll make it happen if he doesn't prioritize you in that early stage of a relationship before all the distractions of running a household and stuff set in he's not going to prioritize you later it's you're you're not valuable to him in that relationship so don't collect replies yeah someone someone said uh how to get a girl to acknowledge me as a living human being like a respectable human being if you show somebody respect they will typically show you respect back if you're just sitting there probably like a Wallflower people probably don't know what to say to you if you want to be acknowledged like a human being interact just introduce yourself to people be friendly nobody's gonna ignore you some people will what's up part of that answer too is not just to introduce yourself to people but make yourself um I'll use a monopoly analogy if you're saying how to get people to acknowledge if there's 10 players how do I get to people to acknowledge me as one of the best players in the board where people would want to give me attention or admiration they want something that they'd want me in their life have property have money have assets and keep moving forward so you know have your life together and also go and talk to them because if you want to talk to them and you don't have your life together it's going to come out and the girl's going to know yeah that's not a good look before you began before you start to think about beginning a relationship you have to make sure you're ready and prepared to take on that responsibility I cannot tell you the the number of guys that I ran into who granted they were in their early 20s so it's not expected that they would be like well set in life but they were really telling me Oh I'm ready to get married and start a family and everything and they can't even buy a plane ticket to come visit how are you ready you have done nothing to get ready that's not being ready you're like you you have to get your ducks in a row let's see I think uh what about premarital eye contact though I think we can let that slide honestly I'm not sure I don't know it's pretty bad just just don't put your gaze linger for Terry Crew brief premium marital eye contact exactly all right so this next question is really good actually from someone who actually was single and is married what are your thoughts on a guy likes a girl so he wants to Riz her we're like oh he did good so it's debut Riz or whatever apart from the joke which is just a joke in all seriousness what do you think of Riz like the term self and the idea of okay people especially like the whole gen Z okay they're all over using swing the anger the English language is deteriorating and that is not helping it's not effective communication so they're they're like borrowing these words that they think are cool from public school or wherever else they've heard them and they're really not saying what they need to be saying because I think when they say risk somebody up it's like oh am I Charming enough to form an emotional connection to that person and that's different than the meaning of the actual word itself right like the way the world would use it yeah so we understand like what they kind of mean when message kids say it but at the same time I mean come on slang in general if you're over there trying to form full sentences with nothing but slang words like bra sauce and lull and acronyms and all this stuff you guys don't realize how unintelligent it sounds completely unintelligent you're taking a very tiny amount of words and trying to talk in everyday life using just those few words when as it is it's like okay language do languages do adapt and evolve they always change over the years but the English language has over 47 000 words that have become obsolete that we're not using and it's getting worse because of all this slang yeah like it's not effective communication you should go and look up a YouTube video of interviews with children from I don't remember the exact year I think it's 1940s 1950s just an interview with kids in second third grade they are so eloquently spoken like adults cannot do today I'm talking adults with college degrees cannot talk as eloquently as these children tend from the 1940s and 50s and it's really sad to see the decline in society um yeah also the uh there's another part of it where some people just do it for fun or it's slang whatever there's also the um Levi uh there's also the section where every demon in the Bible whenever it manifested itself it entirely manifests itself or in general with sarcasm complete and utter sarcasm that's the reason why we have Cuss Words if you've ever noticed it's because they don't have the correct adjectives like I've like you know freaking or whatever I've thought of trying to replace those with a different word to be you know more intelligent and better like see honestly this last generation has become lazy in communication and it's all mostly assuming rather than actually connecting with the person they like yes like and I think that it's a like like for instance is this like I'll approach the Riz thing from a sales point of view in my job I call people over the phone and I connect with them now if if I come off as oh I'm just trying to be charismatic and trying to raise them up they're gonna know it but if I come across as genuine sincere and I care then they're also going to know it because they get 20 to 25 cold calls from guys like me if every day so however so like when I started they gave me a script of things to say things to do and it was less about the scripture more about getting the message and the spirit of it so like we say oh rinse someone up it's like it's not this isn't a joke or a slang this is the person you're going to live with whatever the rest of your life it's the second it is the most important decision it's the second most important decision you're making your whole life and it actually matters a very huge amount and it can't be simplified or not simplified but almost perverted down to a uh a slang word invented by the world to uh signify and to resemble something that's not Christian I think the whole idea of people rising somebody up is kind of image say it like that it sounds like a bunch of a bunch of like middle school high school boys who just want to get an ego trip and see how many girls they can get to like them just temporarily and whenever it comes to like building an actual relationship with somebody you need a true genuine emotional connection it almost seems like it almost seems like race is almost like a a one-size-fits all like you can raise up anybody like oh I can risk up any girl like why you know and what it's almost like a challenge like can I get this person's attention you know yeah they say there was the difference between RIS and flirting so flirting is actually good there's a healthy amount of it and I know there's different definitions and some people can say flirting has no serious intentions but flirting naturally happens in a good healthy relationship where there's attraction terribly but it's just like a playfulness that you guys connect over I mean every every most everybody has experienced learning to some degree but it's not always insincere it's my point so I think Riz if that's your whole ego trip let's see who can like me to put a feather in my hat versus actually having a playful connection with somebody you have a meaningful relationship with that's a pretty significant difference in my opinion interesting thing it implies that there's a system of doing things that can attract any per any girl based on the um the the content of the way you you say words it doesn't it it's not a serious way of looking like someone says I like the difference between reason floating flirting naturally comes in a relationship it's part of it that's why people are players just because they enjoy the initial Rush of a relationship and the honeymoon phase and they don't actually want to commit to anything they just enjoy that um what if someone's comfortable using slang in apartments as well yeah we agree with that that's not what we're talking about we're talking about the you know like oh no raise is more important than predestination you know like that part of it boyfriend bro and he thinks it's great why not I think that's great not that we're not talking about that part we're talking about uh we're talking about shrinking down things of the up things of the highest value down to something really dumb yeah and I'll be honest there's been times I don't know that he loves it but there's just been times that I've even been talking to my husband I'm like bro and I'll say something but that's different than if you're like trying to speak paragraphs in this gen Z slang like what is that it's unintelligent when you're sitting around table and just these handful of like 10 words are being like jammed as many as possible into every single sentence it just you're not really being effective in your communication I think I'm missing a comment here I'm trying to catch up on something someone said it's normal after the fact it's no more conversation after the fact but to approach someone with the intention of loving them loose Foundation well it depends on whether you're talking to like me I don't use that I I just learned you know my brother told me what race meant in December at Winnie the tree and then I had to be rear minded on these Labs I didn't even know what it is it's the result of of uh hanging out with people from the world that's where they got out from we didn't get the store message ranks the first time I heard of it was it was after you started the lives like I think you started talking on the live the day after I heard it for the first time in my life and I was with I was um with some youth who I believe some of them go to public school and that's no doubt where they heard it from but I hadn't that was the first time I ever heard the word so I was even later in hearing it than you were yeah let's see Levi uh example of a sarcastic game actually Laura Carlin preached about this at our church um but one example is every time you hear a demon speak they speak very sarcastically for instance when one speaks to Jesus um it says uh what have I to do with thee the son of God and uh why is the demon asking that why is it saying what do you what do I have to do with thee uh literally everything because it's literally a devil talking to God himself a lot it's very sarcastic what have I to do with thee sarcasm I don't think I would personally take that as sarcasm it could be I don't know like I would have read into that more like somebody trying to Bluff you like the devil's a bluff a sarcastic well I also like being sarcastic I'm talking about well when my brother When Love Was preaching but he was talking about a guy that's sarcastic all the time and then later on left the message but he was very intellectual he never really had an experience with God and one of the like sarcasmus finds like a funny way but a lot of times when someone can only speak in the sarcasm and can never say anything serious and can't talk about relationships without saying oh it's just Riz not predestination not the Holy Ghost just RIS then it shows very little to do with swimming with God and more just oh well this just sarcasm or in other words a lack of seriousness towards something that should have more seriousness in that subject of humor as well like not just sarcasm but if you if you were joking about anything relating to the word that shouldn't be joked about then that would be just as disrespectful whether it was sarcasm or a different form of humor yeah yeah like a lot I mean Elijah used sarcasm when he said uh where is your God maybe is he asleep or maybe he's on a long journey well yeah he was like mocking them okay Olivia what do you think is an appropriate age to date is that when you're asking or somebody put it in the chat someone put it in the uh questions q a section all right there's one for a syrup that like got skipped in the chat that I've been wanting to reference so oh do it go ahead I'll keep him in my head okay uh somebody had asked a little ways out here they said what age do y'all think it's good to start thinking about marriage I'm in ninth grade it's different for everybody some people are interested in marriage and so they're much older in life so if you're interested in marriage now you're already thinking about it so I don't know why you're asking for permission it's okay to think about marriage is a very normal thing I think it's more important for you to be praying for your future spouse whoever that is um I don't know why but in my particular instance I remember thinking about marriage since I was four or five which is like incredibly early most people that young don't think about it but I'm gonna say at least five like in kindergarten I feel like I was thinking about that um but at whatever age you're thinking about it if you have that desire that's great it's not that you have to make a move when you're that young but what you can be doing is praying for that person and do it every day until you meet them and then after you think you make them keep praying for them and after you get engaged and married you keep praying for them I agree about them more than just am I allowed like when should I think about marriage whatever time God will make away and as long as you're prayerful about it then only teach the right one I mean for it's it's like that's perfect I I believe that I'd say for between a girl and the guy it's also different like a guy's like when should I start thinking about marriage I think you should start thinking about marriage when you can actually marry somebody tomorrow logistically if you can legitimate like for instance if you want to figure out how can I win this Risk game and Conquer every territory in the board uh you can't even think about that and say a bunch of armies you know so like build up your life and make it where you could make it happen before you seriously start thinking about it seriously because the thoughts becomes words words become actions yeah but in order in order to know what they're preparing for they would have already had to have started thinking about marriage and that would be the motivation for like preparing um I would like don't make a move for marriage until you're ready for sure but I think there's no harm in thinking about it as early as it enters your mind really yeah I agree I was talking more on like the the serious thinking about we're actually thinking you know they want to make it happen oh like starting to look yeah yeah let's see if someone says I'm gonna be honest no guy with a mental age over 16 unironically tries to risk anyone up to be honest Sharon said I was positive I was going to be married at 16. I was thinking about it but I was well wildly unqualified to be thinking about seriously yeah so that's another thing um you don't realize well like whenever you're in your teen years you don't realize how I don't say amateur because you can be very mature of your age but okay I'm gonna say this word instead is better you don't realize how inexperienced you are to make a decision like that until you pass those years and you look back because it's it's kind of sad that I don't know where exactly it stems from but just the way we're all kind of collectively brought up and the mentality is your goal in life what you're looking forward to is you get married you find a spouse you get married and there's so much more to life than that that shouldn't be the main driving Focus like yes one day you're going to get married most likely inevitably and that time will come you can't control it by thinking about it and going to Camp after Camp you know hunting for somebody if it's not your time it's not going to happen if it's not your time yet and there's so many other things you could be pursuing in life than just marriage because there's a life beyond getting married too and it's it's never the same like so many people pressure other people like oh do you like somebody yet who are you dating who cares if you're not dating somebody you could be pursuing other interests you have that you want to accomplish first there shouldn't be like this pressure if you don't want to get married at a certain age that's fine there's so many other things you can do in life and enjoy and grow as a person I wanted to get married at 18. but I also wanted the right person more than getting married thank goodness that should be the case for everybody so that came with waiting like a lot longer but it was worth it and I like thinking back now if I chose at 18 anybody who waited past like 18 or whatever get married and thought they were ready they looked back and they're like well I'm so glad I didn't get married that young I would have made the wrong choice I wouldn't have known what I know now like how to make the right decision because you don't have as much experience in relationships you're still developing as a person you don't even begin to know what you want like and who you are until you hit 21. you don't even begin to know what you want in life you might think you do at a younger age but you're going to start to change and some people get married younger and it's easier to adjust when you get married younger some people say but you want to know who you are for sure what you want before you make that decision and plus your pre-press report text is going to finish developing until you're 25. so it's probably being right before 25 I'm just saying like make sure that you really know what you're doing yeah yeah I I agree um what would you think is the better version like I understand like in a way if you took the good elements of Riz and you said well what they mean is you need to be charismatic or you need to have have uh conversational skills which personally I don't think that's plausible either because guys and girls are different some of the guys are really charismatic and good at conversations some guys are really bad at it and girls are some girls want a guy who's very timid some girls one of the guys very charismatic just depending um so I'm thinking that the right part of it is um being uh being sincere and finding that person that's made for you rather than the uh trying to be like a one-size-fits or I can sell anybody anything kind of kind of approach yeah someone says I got married at 17. it's definitely different for everyone just pray about it who got married at 17 and I know humor is the right person 100 sometimes it happens sometimes you know everybody's career is gonna be different nobody's story is going to do the same some people are already at different times but above all you just be careful about it and I think we never answered that one question you asked about what age somebody needs to start dating yeah that was one what do you think I should start doing I feel like you said this on another lives brother Branham said it's according to what your parents say because for the brands uh first wife's parents said yeah you can guys can date when she's 15 get married or when she's 16. his mom they got married when she was 14. a person learning earlier in the comments unless they dated for less than a year she started dating him when she was 16 and then got married at 17. so it really depends more on what your parents say where you're from and what God says um is it you know it's more about maturity and where you're as far as being able to provide yeah because your parents know you really well so they they know if they feel that it's safe for you to start dating a certain age or if you're emotionally mature enough so really that's a question you need to ask your dad because he's the one who has say in it as the girl's head it doesn't matter what somebody else thinks if your dad doesn't want you dating until you're 18 or 19. well but your dad says goes so the longest relationship you've been in who is she asking that to yeah two and a half years unofficially though because we weren't actually dating that whole time because I was very hesitant so actually no um a year and five months probably the longest one that I was in how long was yours David uh it depends on what you mean by relationship uh official one okay because I changed mine to like when artificially dating not just talking I mean like it depends on what uh on um what they mean by relationship um I don't know what that means what do you have to say my longest relationship ever is like 27 years because I have a relationship with my parents but I'm pretty sure she means like dating relationships uh let's see super Wendy you asked the dad's permission and he said yeah you can date my daughter oh like what that three months okay three months well hey you know that's good that you got your answer early because it's a lot better than staying in a relationship for a long time and realizing you wasted your time have we ever read the chip conduct and character book yes I have several times what about you I've read parts of it my cousin had it and we were in his room playing games and I was like flipping through it I don't think my parents had a copy of that one but as I had to say it was a compilation of quotes from one Branham and I had searched most of those on the table at myself over the years so believe I if someone meant a talking relationship then that would be more like um that's a weird situations about situations where you talk for 10 months and the parents say you have to stop talking and they won't say why but you and the girls still like each other and you go on for wondering what in the world to do say two and a half years then approximately only 10 months of that worker and I'm actually talking it was a weird situation yeah for me including talking and dating like with the same person I'd say two and a half years yeah and I said it's my longest um okay good good good stuff um now you're telling me that friends first or whatever in parentheses isn't very plausible I know for some people it is some people it isn't what what do you what do you think it's still not and when I say this you guys are going to think well duh That's So basic but I've seen the other people have come on the wives and they were talking to you about like well who are you asking them how do you get there with a girl like okay how do you become friends you're saying be friends first what does that mean you can't be friends first with anybody before this other thing that will get your foot in the door and open the whole thing up do you have to introduce yourself to the person you cannot be a friend to somebody until you make an introduction it's it's so basic but the whole like how do you become friends with a girl or guy you have to put your name out there and form some type of connection with them and an example of that would be let's say you go to a camp and it's not against the ground rules for the guys to like walk in the direction of the girl storms okay so first day of camp you're there early I don't know the campus so that's why I said that so you're there early walking around watching people show up and you know you're with your brother a friend whoever and then there's a group of girls who drove by themselves there's not a guy with them they have their huge suitcases because girls over pack and they have to like haul them across the the gravel the grass whatever you can welcome people to Camp say hi introduce yourself and be like hey sisters you have a good drive would you like help carrying your luggage closer to the dorm if they say no okay fine but if they accept your help they think you're this awesome gentleman because not many guys do that and it will remember you forever you've already put your name up there and then if you're not interested in them okay that's fine you were just a gentleman to some Sisters in Christ if you notice that you're interested in one of them later you've already made the introduction they know who you are there's some type of like connection there they trust you they like something about you you can purposely time it before you meet up in the food line at the same time and talk to them about something else so you're telling me that not necessarily because someone said oh well I was friends first with my wife you're saying the first thing you do is in yourself introduce yourself to them and then your friends no you're not friends then but it's a you can't become friends first until you've obviously met each other but you know it's like the whole oh you have to be friends first okay but you're skipping the most basic stuff ever you can't just Waltz into a camp and you're like oh there's a girl I think she's really pretty hey let's be friends way to be a weirdo like you can't do that she has no desire to be friends with you there is nothing that makes her want to be a friend with you you know so you you have to form some type of connection and repertoire throughout camp in very small subtle casual ways because like you said you don't know if you're really interested in a person or not so um I know not all girls care to play sports but I was that girl who's always on the volleyball court I'm going to use this example because I know it works um most of the time at camps guys and girls are playing together and okay by the way if it's not volleyball okay fine just go do whatever you like doing don't go pretend you like doing something to get with a girl who likes that thing that you hate be you go do the things you enjoy and you're going to connect with people who have similar interests which is very important later on anyway but okay the volleyball situation see you're playing volleyball a team player introduce yourself girls get to know who you're playing with for nothing else just to make more friends I can't shake hands introduce yourself learn everybody's name and interact that way okay so then the introductions made they know who you are you know who they are and then if you're realizing hey that girl's pretty cool I like her you don't have to make it obvious that you're remotely interested slightly watching her but it can be something as subtle as glancing her way a few extra times because honestly you're more interested in her than the volleyball game you've played dozens of volleyball games you've never seen this girl before ever and she's pretty so your priority has shifted in your mind you like her more that's not blocking at her but you just happen to glance at her more your priorities show where your attention is so a girl can tell when a guy is interested in her because he's starting to pay her more attention all of a sudden and it's something people don't think about but body language is huge I got some I know you like statistics so I got some numbers for this um let me find it real quick my iPhone SE is so tiny compared to my Pro Max okay so focus is being put too much on communication all right everybody's talking about raising somebody up with the way they can talk please verbal communication you're overrated and missing the body language cues because those are incredibly important it's the bigger picture so there's this man named Albert something I can't pronounce his last name uh he researched body language and he broke down the components of face-to-face conversation and found that 55 of communication is non-verbal 38 is a vocal like think of tone and only seven percent of communication are words only seven percent are words only most of your communication comes non-verbal communication how your body language is if a girl likes a guy she'll play with her hair more she will blink her eyes faster she doesn't know she's doing it but she is her heart rate increases her face might be flushed she might lick her lips like there's all of these tiny subtle body language signs that indicate somebody likes you so you don't have to go around purposely doing these things they happen naturally but if you know how body language works and you want to convey that you're interested in a very casual subtle way to a girl at Camp you can all right so Eli says what if you're dumb like me and can't pick that up you might not realize you're picking it up and you know even when somebody I mean if you're not interested it doesn't matter this is if you're interested in the girl I wouldn't expect the girl to make the first move if you're not interested it doesn't matter see uh Benjamin Browning says uh genuine question how long does it take for a girl to consider a dude a friend because I think you said that I a guy can't just introduce himself to be a group to a girl then become friends please elaborate yeah so I'll get there because this is a process okay you can't expect to have a girl be your friend instantly this is going to be a throughout camp process all right I'm using Camp as an example here so you're still in the volleyball court you've only first introduced yourself to them you're not friends with her yet you're just an acquaintance all right so now it comes to the body language so how do you subtly casually Express interests to this girl because you're not sure if you really like her okay um making eye contact most people are not good at eye contact but if somebody is it makes you feel more connected they've done a study where if you it's creepy don't try it but if you stare unblinkingly in somebody's eyes for a minute even if they're stranger you feel afterwards like you have a closer connection there's something about eye contact so if you're on a volleyball court say her name when you talk to her if it's her turn to serve the ball and you have the ball toss her the ball gently say her name and be like hey it's your turn to serve and make eye contact when you do it and that's very very natural thing she's you know if you go about it a casual way that you would with anybody she's not gonna think you're a creeper weirdo it's very natural but it still conveys a connection You're Building repertoire trust interest a connection because most of the people on Decor aren't going to do that in the same way and then um back to the the body language 38 is vocal like tone that's the other thing I'm sure you guys have heard an example of this somewhere like even teasing somebody who's stating about like the way they say the person's name it's different when you care about somebody you say it more affectionately whether you realize it or not so it's different if you're just like if there's a if there's a girl and she likes this guy named Josh she's like hey Josh you're up and then there's this other girl who's like Josh like they'll say it differently you know like there's so it'll be a lot more subtle but there's a difference there's a chair underlined in that tone all right what's this uh what if Fallout from Ben hey what what if I just wanted to get to know somebody as a friend though to see if you're they're a computable personality types even compatible personality types yeah and so you get to know them better and you can't know them better until you introduce yourself but they have to want to be a friend as well it has to be mutual so you have to you're still working on building up that trust and stuff so okay you finish the volleyball game whatever now you have something in common you can talk to her about you spend time together there's been those subtle body language cues whatever don't hover around her like make a comment about the game or whatever and then if she if her body language is that she's trying to go her separate ways meet up with her friends don't hold her go do your guy thing like you would do if she wasn't there let her process and think about you and decide if she actually likes you and wants to see more of you give her a chance to miss you and then later you know I'm sure you're gonna be watching for her so like try to time an opportunity to make it to the food line at the same time as an example and then be like oh hey we're on the volleyball team earlier and strike up a conversation what have you done since then you know you start talking about something read her body language see if she's interested she's trying to keep the conversation going is she smiling and laughing a lot and then if you feel like there's a connection and you guys are having a fantastic conversation that can keep going you could ask for permission to sit with her for lunch and not just like you and her don't make it offer you can have you and your guy buddy or your brother and her and her friend like you know you can have it more of a casual setting but you're starting to build a connection with each other you're starting to build a connection with each other and it can go from there if it continues blossoming if she's more receptive and you guys are like hey wow this is awesome this person's so cool and she's economic too you're both making time and allowing time to be spent with each other going to the snack bar at night together you know here and there it's like you do something for a little bit and then you go your separate ways give it a breather let it process then you know create another opportunity in another conversation and then by the end of Camp if it's gone on that far most likely she's hoping or asking for her number and you better do it in person because if you do it over social media after camp that is a weak move girls don't like that you've got to be a man okay okay that's all really good what about if uh if if um you did you see a girl online and you think she's real pretty you have no idea where she's from and the only way to contact her is through social media I mean hey it's 20 23 people do that people have been getting married off Facebook for a long time now two of my sisters there's another girl at the church who got married from Facebook too yeah I mean here's the thing technology has vastly changed the whole dating courtship marriage world and especially in the message there is no dating courtship marriage you know what we have talking courtship marriage there's no dating you're in a talking stage first and then you completely skip the dating because if you actually did what dating originally was you'd be labeled as a player because dating you know if you look back at like 1940s 50s whatever what dating was was a girl would not be allowed to go out with the same guy two nights in a row she had to go out with a different guy every night and that helped you learn about different people and different personalities to see who you actually liked and who you actually were interested in so when when we're spread out across the US now and we're actually able to interact because back then they only married within their Community they couldn't travel like we do now they weren't flying to other states and getting married they were getting married within their own towns so technology has completely and drastically changed that because now we can connect with the world and you have people getting married to people in other countries and it'll never go back to the way it was but the dating thing is like out of the picture so in the message you can barely look at somebody else without somebody being like oh they like them they want to start dating they're talking or whatever so you're not dating you're courting and it's done with a very serious intention which yes it should be but how do you know if that's the person you want when you see them for a few hours at camp and church services because there are a lot of wolves in sheep's clothing they put on a good act and they act like they love the Lord and then you start talking to them you start dating them from afar and then you realize oh you aren't the person you pretended to be but you're already invested in this locked in relationship that is technically courting and it makes it really difficult being everybody so spread out you can't actually date in the message yeah what do you think about this though what if we tried to normalize a way uh can you fall in love in line yes of course you can everybody does my sister Anna did and Amy did um and they married those guys so um what about this what about if guys ask girls out on dates virtually paid for whatever they're send them a gift card and they had a conversations if they're on a date virtually or even in person you say hey would you like to go out on a date with me tomorrow morning I heard they're serving breakfast at the cafeteria you know what do you think about that comment I'm wiggling my toes in Delight over this live oh yeah yeah yeah all right sorry you were saying uh yeah what you think of the idea of instead of this um you know unknown game of talking whatever what if I fell in love in person I know Anna but you know what I mean you didn't you didn't just block him you talked to him over the over Facebook too you know what I mean um so Amy but uh what I what I mean is uh like what if we normalized where if you can't meet a girl in person but you do want to talk to her you ask her out on a virtual date or even in person you almost ask her out on a date at a camp what about that part now we sit on a date at camp or you're saying like hey do you want to get ice cream together with the Snack Shack like that yeah you could even trade as a game just like yeah hey I heard we met on Facebook for fell 11 person well that awesome um that's what I meant uh uh I mean like yeah you could play with it and say hey I heard they're serving lunch tomorrow at the cafeteria would you like to go on a date with me and like make it a clear intention of like you seem interesting and look to know more about you I know it's a little opposed to your very subtle game but at the same time if they've maybe maybe at that point you would ask that if they've shown the subtle body language cues maybe they like you too yes yes exactly that that was my point from earlier once you get introduced to each other and you start to form this connection they're going to be more receptive to to something that you suggest like that so you can look for opportunities later like hey would you like to sit together at lunch do you want to go get something to get the Snack Shack now they know you they feel more comfortable with you um so yeah that's that's all fine and great but I don't know if I would come out and say do you want to go on a date with me and do this because I'll probably freak a message girl out nowadays like well the point would be better uh wording I just okay what would be your what would be your reason behind wanting to say do you want to go out do you want to go on a date and have lunch together at the camp why would you say it like that um well I mean it's the I just grew up the world what the world does with the wrong way of dating but in the the idea of a format where you just have you invite them to a meal and where you learn about each other and you have a conversation I think that should be normalized rather than a um like no you have to be friends first we won't really Define what that means you gotta talk for a while you gotta whatever I think you know having an initial conversation because and what the world does and looking at the world but to help people I've done it because nates and unders they weren't dirty terrible people like they are now you know have a conversation in person eat a meal and then see if you're interested or not in a second date yeah um so by using the word date like when you were gonna ask the girl you would say that so she would know all of that as your intention I guess I mean the same way that you would if you if you were if you met someone in person like the way the people other people do it that aren't the message you know they do it because they they're not saying that they're in love with the person but they're saying you I have enough potential interest into you to where I'd like to learn about you more to see if we're compatible it that yeah that's something people shouldn't be afraid of in the message but my sister and I were actually randomly came up in the car when we were hanging out earlier today she was mentioning how there's guys in the message who they go out and get with worldly girls and it's because it's I mean for one they're not truly serving the lord right okay but that aside it's easier for them because worldly girls treat it more casually like they're open to being friends with guys they're not scared out of their mind about being a friend with a guy whereas in the message it's just like oh if we're friends then it's something because people do talk so I understand why that fear is there but like if it comes to to sitting to have lunch with somebody at a camp I wouldn't say hey you want to go on a date with me to this girl that you just met the day before that because when you say dating in the message they're thinking courtship when people say we're dating they mean courtship because that's it's completely invested at that point so you're gonna freak her out and she's gonna be like I'm not ready for this relationship you have to talk to my dad and I don't know if I want to commit you know we should come up with the phrase that they basically uh infers and says the same thing the world does when they're saying a date it is casual and that is the same thing Eli I don't want stuff like that in the chat um but it should be the same thing as um what the world does in like nothing because it's the world that sounds weird but where you're like uh it is to see if you're compatible and it is light and it is casual if anything is just free food you know my personal opinion I think it's I think you're overthinking it not just you but people in general like you don't have to say that you're dating if you want it to be casual just to get to know each other just do that because if if you want I know it's different for guys and girls I feel like guys friendships are very different than girl friendships yes but but let's say that you wanted to become friends with this guy and you decided to like go out to launch together or something maybe that's a really weird analogy for a guy but you know you don't have to word it in this strange way because you're just getting to know each other to see how much you click and how close you become as casual friends and you know like you don't have to make it sound like some serious invested friendship that they have to commit to and potentially for a lifelong thing you're just like hey man you want to go get some lunch yeah bro cool let's do it okay boom yeah we couldn't do that with the guys we it's honestly more about the free food with guys like there's an actual the other the guy in some ways uh no let's see uh someone says like how about hey you want to go to the cafeterian tiger like twt how you want to go to coffee yeah I mean like what do you think uh for instance Olivia so you think like if I first if I asked a girl hey want to go get a drink with me at The Snack Shack and they say no what does that mean she's not interested she doesn't want to give you the impression she is she has no desire to get to know you better or spend time with you interesting so you're saying that I didn't a guy wouldn't come across as wanting to you know basically marry the girl if they ask her if he wants to go get a drink with him he would come across as I want to buy you a drink and have a conversation with you if he asks if you're trying to get a drink yeah to me if a guy did that to me then it's like okay this guy he there's something about me he's interested in he wants to get to know me better he's trying to spend time with me and that's fine that's very casual it's not like he's saying hey can I have your phone number because that indicates I want to contact you long term for a while okay you're not there yet you have to you know that's like the end of Camp when you've established a connection yeah in most cases so in that case I would say let's go on a date and get ice cream I just say hey would you like to grab some ice cream together and talk all right we can let's see I I think that's perfect um as a girl with that youth how did you want to be approached by a guy because I know there's different like I know one girl uh she told me she had 50 people 50 youth at her church and this drastically different from what you had and what I have so how's the girl that doesn't have youth at a church want to be approached by a guy which is really only going to be at a camp right um man my I I can't find any of my notes on this phone so I'm just gonna wing it I know but yeah we didn't have anybody um it was to put it in perspective for everybody else I know you know this but like when I was growing up we had a home church that was all relatives my grandpa started in his house they still have services in his house to the state you know he passed away and it was my parents aunts and uncles at the time were not married so I have a brother who's five and a half years younger than I am and by the time he was born and I was like becoming at the age where I wanted friends I was pulled out of public school and homeschooled so we didn't go anywhere we didn't have anyone to interact with my brother was a baby and then there was cousins that came after him who were also babies and toddlers so for a very long period of time it was literally no one else in the church my age except for my two older sisters and that was it so when we're talking no youth we literally mean no use after church on a Sunday or Wednesday throughout the week and by the way we shared a bedroom so we'd be sitting on our bed spacing each other in our room just like well hi again like we see each other all the time there's nothing new and there was no Fellowship no use um so whenever I got older to the point I was like close to dating age and stuff and we were getting out a little bit more Camp was the place where you were hoping to meet somebody because there was no other opportunity and by the way I didn't get social media until I was like 21. yeah I don't think I got Facebook until I was 21 I got Instagram later than that so there really was not much interaction at all and I wouldn't have known most of the people on there anyway because we didn't really get out so when I went to a camp I was hoping there would be somebody there that there would be a mutual interest in I said where else do you go because we didn't we certainly didn't have anyone in our area and anytime we wanted to go to a camp for special meetings it was usually a good seven to 12 hours away so you know you go to a camp maybe once a year maybe if you're lucky twice a year for special meetings but that's it and that does make it feel a lot harder to find somebody because you're hardly getting yourself out there nobody knows you exist and then apparently the ones who are remotely interested and you are too afraid to do anything and then oh they're afraid asking person and you don't have social media you know it's just a lose-lose situation so yeah I was hoping that if I was even interested in somebody that they would return the interest and ask for my number or email um email yeah either you were really over under if you were really using old technology or you're just really old I was born in the 90s and less the cool kids yeah I used I used emails I I still have a Hotmail account created when I was like seven percent Hotmail yeah no honestly like my thing was because the first time a guy asked for my email I was 15. I was just like wow there's this guy who actually likes me funny because there's guys that I had liked in the past but for one I was too young and guys are even uh more immature and not thinking about girls because you know they have cooties at that age it was just kind of when you're by yourself all the time and it's just like well one day I'm gonna get married but then there's nobody around it's like oh somebody wanted my email wow if you get older you're just hoping somebody else asks for your email oh okay part of it too David I didn't have my own phone call I was almost 21. I didn't get my information so I did not have a phone number to give them so yes I was hoping to ask for my I could have gotten one a little earlier but there just wasn't a need because we were always home with nowhere to go and nobody to see so yeah what are the girls to talk to actually her parents would only let her communicate through email and this isn't like 2019 and she had an iPad we could have just facetimed or iMessage but no just email it was strange yeah exactly um like yeah um but I mean it's hard like at a camp especially with like deposits and stuff like that because as kids with that youth we are we are asserting ourselves regardless of where we go like there's people we know because we see my camps but at the same time we kind of are yeah but it's I think the guy is expected to make the first move anyway it looks a little strange if a girl is going around introducing herself to all the guys and shaking hands you know like that's a little bit more frowned upon than a guy just yeah you know and plus you guys don't know what to do I wouldn't say there's never an instance because Abigail introduced herself today because God sent her there but um like it just depends you know but yeah typically like I got like I'm used to build one and introduce myself opening up against the girl injuries themselves which really is just it's not because you love them it's just to have a conversation yeah um okay here's a good question a girl how would a guy go about rejecting a girl hush get a guy go about rejecting girl okay so on I'm not exactly sure where that's coming because rejecting a girl is in they start a relationship they're dating and he and he decides he wants to dump her rejecting a girl isn't she's coming on real strong and he doesn't want anything to do with her is it in uh let's say for instance as in she tries to talk to you she's showing interest which isn't coming up as desperated like that which if a girl shows any interest to have any conversation like you want to continue it but you're not attractive them whatsoever they're a nice person but you're not attracted at all how do you reject them okay so at camp like for example at camp they're just yeah repeatedly showing up you're not interested make yourself unavailable be in a pod be in a guy pod it works for the girls you cannot reach that pod no you just I I don't think you need to be direct in that instance the girl will know if you're avoiding her her if she can ever hang out and eventually she will just lose hope I know that sounds sad it's never fun to be rejected but yeah I mean the guy is where it starts if it can start or not really a girl can be as interested as she wants but if the guy I mean whose book plays really but you know if a girl's coming on for one I think that's a red flag a little bit because the guy is supposed to be pursuing the girl I agree for like the most part but as far as like the initial stages of is it a conversation like there's a guy I know of he's all timid there is no he's just all the way timid and there are girls you know that are very uh social so maybe there'll be a point where they've she'd introduce herself but I agree yeah the guy's gotta start leading because if he can't lead in a relationship he's not gonna be able to lead in a home yeah yeah he has to do the pursuing so if if a girl is the one doing doing that's kind of mixed up I I would just avoid that okay all right I have a really good question actually this is a question um interesting how do you differentiate like how would a guy differentiate a girl just one just being nice between her actually liking him never assume you can never know a hundred percent until you have that conversation with them you can be sure you might be right because there's a lot of times you can tell that like yes she absolutely likes me all the signs are pointing there but I think it's just better not to assume that's kind of the approach I took um maybe because I was very friendly and outgoing if a guy was very friendly with me I didn't necessarily take that as oh he likes me because I wasn't necessarily that way and also I didn't want to assume it's like what every guy who's finally nice to you the one guy who doesn't ignore you you're going to assume automatically 100 he likes you so I always treated it like I did know that he did until I was confronted about it because if if his intentions were not serious enough for him to have that direct conversation with me it would never go anywhere so there was no point in me knowing if he had a passing pressure or not what about if you're supposed to be friends though but like what if they yeah they are interested but they don't know if they'll come off too strong if they say uh you know oh I actually do like you what's the best way of telling the girl that other than saying yeah I like you a lot or how do you tell a girl that basically that you are interested there's two sides to this if the girl likes you back she's going to be ecstatic when you have that conversation because she wants you to like her if however she does not like you and she is praying that conversation does not come up um there's no easy way to go about that because that's something she does not want to hear she does not want to know that you admire her because it's a tough conversation for a girl to have she can be flattered that a guy likes her but at the same time it's like I don't want to hurt him why does he like me I wish he didn't like me I don't know all girls have that same thought process but I think it's safe to generalize it in that way so if if you're in a situation where she likes you back you really don't have much to worry about so I think you would have to tread lightly spend time getting to know each other and get a feel for if she genuinely seems to like you as a person and there's not this one like line that you can use to buy the book across the board but maybe you could say you know you gradually build up like okay you're messaging each other and then um hey would you like to start doing phone calls see if she's open to that hey would you like to start doing video calls so we can see each other you know if she's putting on the breaks and she's like no I don't feel comfortable with that chances are she doesn't when it's go any further so there's really not a need to say hey I like you though because she's just gonna be like I know but I don't want it to go anywhere so you have to kind of build up and then if you're already interacting and she's being more receptive the connection is growing friendship is growing there's signs of Interest then you're going to feel more comfortable both of you to have that conversation where you're just like hey I I you know I've Loved getting to know you you're a super cool person with all these amazing qualities I really admire about you I I really enjoy spending time with you as a person see how she responds to that this you know say a compliment about her personality like that and see how she takes it and if she's receptive to it then maybe another conversation you can just be like you know I really want to be honest with you I have feelings that have been growing for you I really admire you as a person I want to know if you feel the same way and if you want this to go further it's good stuff it's really good okay um how would you differentiate say you met a girl at camp and um maybe you just introduce yourself but you never continue a conversation because super busy can have kind of a short camp and you don't know what to do and they message you for some random other reason there's not that maybe maybe they ask you what something about you whatever are they hinted that they want to talk to you or they're just curious or should you text them or like if you maybe had potential interest in them should you text them after Camp if you met but you never got a chance to continue your conversation with them for instance like I know that'll happen for some people like a twt there was a girl like it turned out to campus 15 so it doesn't matter but um I looked for a set all of Saturday almost off Saturday and almost and all of Sunday I couldn't find her because there was just so many people yeah so if something like that happens what would you what would you recommend okay so the part where you mentioned like sending a text are you saying where the girl randomly messages you after Camp about something unrelated sure let's say that for instance okay huh that would be interesting um because that means she's really interested in me when she's like uh yeah she's trying to make a move um I mean just be honest just be honest you can tell her like oh I'm so I'm so glad that you reached out like reply to whatever she sent and be like by the way I'm so glad you reached out I was trying to find you to let you know how much I enjoyed meeting you at camp and to tell you bye and I just couldn't find you in the crowd it's really not rocket science I think if any if everybody is genuine and sincere and honest that that's the best approach you can take I see I I agree okay that that makes more sense that makes more sense um okay I have specifics about that question that I'll ask you after the live um that I can't put out on a uh okay on a um Also if anyone ever here I was like hey we can continue this these are good topics but if you can't put it up like if people hear me breathing or swallowing or anything weird noises it's because of the acoustic foam like like my dad one time I was he was alive with me and he was helping me say things and he was sitting over there and people could literally hear him on there typing things and whispering things to Mom let's see they were literally taking notes yes yes yes I am okay let me go back to this here but yeah it's uh I love this this is these are good questions okay um why if a guy is interested people on here on a live about relationship advice maybe because they can relate to it again it's all changing it's all different um okay how do you how does uh let's see so here's the thing like in my job when we want to ask a client like what they currently use for this we're just straight up asking that we say something like hey you know I hear from some people they do this other people do that I know what you're doing with this so what does that look like for you so that's how I'm trying to answer the ask these questions because it comes off more effectively so like uh how do you get your foot in the door when interested in the girl some people uh I just want to talk to them a whole lot some people want to approach them out of the blue maybe you want to hit them with flower how do you get how do you get your foot in the door when you're interested in the girl at a camp versus DMS because some girls don't go to camps why not do they not want to meet somebody or they just don't uh some of them don't go because their parents won't allowed them other ones don't go because the uh because they have gigantic youth groups and some Churches have a doctrine of no camps because they have big youth groups um the reason I think it is aside from not being introduced first the reason it's not very plausible to be friends first before getting in a relationship when you don't have a youth group um you don't know them so you can't for one and then if there's any type of communication long distance you're already invested and that amount of investment of time spent talking to the person money if you go to visit them whatever like that is already more committed and dedicated than just a platonic friendship would usually um consist of stuff like a guy and a girl yes there are instances where they are friends without each other ever liking each other sure there's always an exception maybe they can they grow up together and they consider each other like their little brother or little sister there's always a case like that so this is not 100 but I would say the vast majority of the time a guy and a girl are not friends even if they don't like each other like today they are not still friends without one of them having like the other at some point in time even if they never confess their feelings to the other person someone had a romantic interest to some degree at some point in time and when they realized they couldn't go further they were content continuing to be friends I think that's the case for a lot of people when it comes to Big youth groups it's a lot more likely for somebody to be friends before starting a relationship because you have everyone there you might have grown up together you've known this person from Forever you have a connection you've been around them all the time and maybe you never looked at them in that way and then one day you're like hey he's really handsome she's really pretty they're fun to be around and there's something that's growing just when it's the season for it but if you're not in a youth group you know that doesn't happen and then you have an instance where you're in a big youth group and you don't click with anybody in that way some people don't stay and marry in their youth group some people are surrounded by Youth and they don't feel like they have true friends yeah it does depends on how many youth you have like for instance for me I don't have friends that are girls that I speak to consistently yeah yeah not because I'm a weird dude or anything it's because I um I've never been raised with girls my age near me and it's a weird thing for me when people say oh just stay friends I'm like what do you mean my brain can't register talking to multiple girls I I just won't do it um so it's a it's a hard thing like you know when you're trying to be interested in somebody or like the be friends for a while you're just like well what does that mean people are like oh I was friends for this my wife well did you come from a big youth group were you raised under the social uh under the social workings of people who are able to be friends with each other because they were taught that in a social way from the tremendous amount of Youth of their Church you know there's also those things which happen as well yes so let me ask you this so you you didn't grow up with you so you have to just hypothetically assess this question but if you were surrounded by young people and there were 15 girls 15 guys around you that you grew up with together at the church you would be talking to girls on a normal basis right just as friends casually because you see them all the time and you hang out and you all just know each other again the pastor's kid and the song leader of course yeah yeah all the time it would be nice if that could be more normalized because it would make things easier but when people are so spread out in the message you have small churches here big churches there and everybody coming from every direction to go to a camp the whole be friends first when you show up at a camp is not realistic you you can't automatically be friends first with somebody you've never met yeah if there's no background also I'm also when it comes to like being friends or stuff like that people get people get weirded out or think that I'm coming off strong when I want to talk to somebody on the phone and like just as specific to me because I make 100 cold calls a day for work um I want to talk on the phone with something because I anybody that texts me ever knows I almost never put an actual text I almost 100 of them doing voice messages because I hate texting with all my heart and soul so I want to talk on the phone with somebody the girl may think oh it's because he loves me like no or because he likes me no it's because I actually want to find out this person's worth is worth continuing to speak to you know no what is the girl expressed that she was not comfortable with the phone calls and the voice messages yet and she would prefer only communicating with you over text would you put forth the effort to communicate with her solely over text like typing everything out if you liked her I would ask her if she could uh if she could what's it called compromise with video messages or at least voice messages or at least well yeah well if you said like specifically she thought voice messages was coming on too strong as well which would be an inconvenience to you but I'm asking if you would be willing in that instant to put forth effort for this girl that you thought you were interested in to be like okay I'll just straight text her for two weeks or until she tells me she's right well yeah yeah yes with the caveat guess what the caveat of her not being bothered if I visit her in a month I'm fine I'm with texting a girl for a month straight just texting and not voice messaging if she says yeah I'd be happy to for you to come out and visit in a month to uh you know like go uh whitewater rafting or go laser tagging or just to come to my church and go out to eat afterwards then go back to your house whatever yeah which yeah I mean like what do you think would be an effective way for me to for me to because I think I try to communicate that the best that I can that it isn't weird for me to talk on the phone like I just I do it all the time and it's not mad what is it an effective way of me of saying Hey I want to talk on the phone because I did test texting because you can't actually know what someone's saying and it's actually a way of talking on the phone a way of uh actual communication it doesn't mean I love the grave and I like her it may mean only that I think yeah she's real pretty track there's attraction but I'm gonna see if there's any actual character or if we have any compatibility or chemistry of the phone some girls might be okay with that but to be honest I as much as you're saying you don't want to come across that way because it is the social Norm I think it's going to be taken that way even if you say I absolutely hate texting I always talk to people on the phone she's going to think that's an excuse that's so weird because I here's here's this is if a girl asked me to call her dad like if I met a girl at twt and she said in order to talk to me even just a friend you would call my dad I would give her dad's number and call me immediately there would be no oh I could have worked myself up oh I've gotta I've gotta try to uh to uh get myself I would just call him immediately that's just my personality and I want to try to uh you know I I know that it's nothing just social Norm but I'm trying to figure out the effective way of showing like hey I literally do a podcast where I I'll talk for three and a half hours straight I'm and you know I do cold calls for for work you know it's it's hard to try to show that um I guess the same with the cool car it's also the uh the um I worked in the wireless engine for three Wireless industry for three and a half years uh are you an airport purifier because the air gets to light when you're into the room I I actually I met new people it's I can't I can't hey you find they they finally broke you and now they now they know what'll get you laughing yeah honestly in my opinion if a girl really likes you she'll be honest with you like I may come off a certain way but as long as I'm not being really stupid I'm just saying I say hey I want to talk on the phone because this is the way I communicate they'll probably if they like you they'll want to talk to you if they don't like you they won't want to talk to you it goes into my people make time for what they want to make time for yeah but if they don't know if they like you yet you know like let's say you slide into a girl's DMS and then you're like saying her a few messages and then that same night you're like hey I hate texting can I call you she's gonna be like okay this is strong she even if she allows it that doesn't mean she's comfortable with it and I get what you're saying like I understand that for you personally you don't like texting but because it is such an unheard of my minority in today's society you can't expect everybody to conform to you because it's a very unique um yeah I don't think anybody else is like that it's a very unique preference so it sounds like an excuse and the last thing you want to do is make somebody you're interested in uncomfortable because that will push you guys farther apart so you might have to inconvenience yourself and make yourself temporarily uncomfortable and wear your thumbs out texting for two horrible weeks but on the bright side you can romantically tell her hopefully one day as much as I loads texting I went through that for you like I was willing to put myself through that for you as much as I detest it I texted you every day throughout the day for two weeks or however long you know like because you'd rather do that than not talk to her interesting I've rarely been in that position um with that and I've always been curious so like if I said something like hey look I've made tens of thousands of cold calls my goal is to introduce myself to new people virtually I've probably met over a hundred thousand people so when I asked you if you'd like to talk on the phone it's just because that's the way I prefer to communicate if it's coming up is strong for you I completely understand whatever makes you the most comfortable feel free to say that would be a better way to say it when you when you end it with whatever makes you most comfortable that's being considered now the first part where you go on about the thousands of cold calls you make a day at the same time that makes the girl feel like she's the same as everybody else and it's really not special because you talk to anybody in every Joe oh what let's see I mean what about the this but if I tell you if it's for work that's what I do for as a for a living I don't talk to thousands of other girls you know that's not that well what's the way to differentiate that like hey for work I do this well shame I understand this for work but then talking on the phone isn't necessarily anything special for a lot of people the talking phase comes first like over text and then whenever it becomes more serious you level up to the phone calls no one ever gets more serious you're face timing so if you're just like phone calls mean nothing to me then what kind of girl no will mean something interesting that's kind of funny because you say you got to come off really subtle and if she thinks oh well I'm just among all the different guys that girl people that he talks to all the time maybe that would be a good thing if you're not coming off as like well I just want to talk to you because because in essence if I want to talk to a girl it's because I wanted to learn about her or even just to talk to her initially at all well there's nothing very subtle about sliding into DMs like you can be subtle when it comes to body language and introducing yourself in a group at camp and doing activities together and like observing somebody from afar when it's literally you one-on-one using technology that's different that's already personal as impersonal as text can be you're still having a direct private conversation with a person so a lot of people do take it lightly because it's so used but um I don't think there's anything discreet about sliding into DMS it's interesting random guy pops into a girl's social media probably one of the first things she's going to think is does this guy like me what does he want so the guy wants to just convey that if a guy wants to convey that hey the girl is pretty and um she seems like she has this even slightly a bit of uh a bit of character and you want to start a conversation how would you convey that in a first text to a girl I'm sorry to answer repeat the first part I was distracted by the comments if you want to take in Bay to a girl that the reason why you're texting her speak is because you want to have a conversation because you initiate that just because you thought she was pretty and if a girl thinks a guy is attractive as well she's gonna go on his profile and say yeah this guy's worth talking to or he's not how can a guy convey that in his first ever message to the girl why else would he be signing into DMS you can't do anything else to have a conversation the girl wants to have a conversation because he's in the DMs what should the first text be I mean Different Strokes for different folks do you know anything about the girl that might work you have to have something that made you want to reach out to that girl so whatever got your attention from her page whatever dream to her maybe you could talk about that it's like hey I see you love to travel they're still at it aren't they these are good you guys need to write this down I want a book of these pickup lines curly a punching bag I'll hit you up all day um what was the last thing I said I'm making me lose my train of thought oh if there's something that caught your eye on their profile like if you see she loves to travel or she owns horses and you you love horses or something you know you have something to connect on that you can reach out to her about and be like hey I've seen you posting about this I think that's really cool I'm into that too and just find some type of connection to have a very casual conversation about if you probably Ben you're like hey girl I think your profile picture is absolutely beautiful she's gonna think you're coming out very strong you have to have something else to talk about when you aim it's funny my manager um told me and he told me about the meta conversation so the meta conversations the conversation that goes on when people aren't saying anything or when they're saying things versus things you don't say for instance like if a guy's texting a girl even though you tell her oh I think you're really a boxer because I want to punch you in the face comments are so distracting I can't hardly you're fine um girl are you cotton I'll pick you life it's really bad it's really bad uh KSI I made that joke this is 100 cotton I picked up myself that was funny um but uh if you text a girl like even though um call me Joshua because I'm going to break down your walls of sex alive if a guy girl or Will Smith because I'll let you slap girl He Will Smith because I'll let you stop laughs I hope somebody is screenshotting these or writing them down I want a compilation it's beautiful cool um so like The Meta conversation is you can Babylon because you're hotter than the fiery furnace and that's that's really bad um probably should not say that uh so like if you're texting a girl even though it would come off strong to say I think you're really pretty that's why I texted you you're already saying that by texting her it's the medical it's the conversation that goes on without saying it if she wasn't if you if you think she was pretty you wouldn't text her and if she didn't think you were handsome she probably wouldn't respond that's true I respond I'm talking about continuing it that's still not true because women and men are different in this way you're right about a guy a guy is only going to reach out and try to initiate something with a girl he finds attractive because men are very visual women are very emotional so she she will overlook somebody's lack of physical um qualities and admire stuff about them inwardly and they will become beautiful to her she'll still be able to admire things about them they've done social experiments on this um where they'll like catfish these guys and uh like on a dating app whatever it was they they put this blonde model really attractive the guys show up and she's like a 500 pound like they put on a fat suit and everything gave her double chins and the guys immediately get up excuse himself to go to the bathroom and it's like they disappear then they reverse this with women who were catfished by a guy who was unattractive and they stayed throughout the date and we're willing to give them a chance to even have a second date because really what an emotional connection men are always drawn in visually first a girl will reply to a guy in some cases that she doesn't necessarily find attractive because they're more willing to learn about that person first okay that's unattractive but they're more lenient how can a guy convey that he would be able to create a um a strong emotional attachment on his profile what's up Grace hello oh can you hold that thought because somebody asked a question yeah did they try catfishing the man with beautiful people instead of ugly people the it wasn't the social experiment man it was just a troll question um my cousin he's being genuine I'm just trying to yeah yeah I'm just trying to understand exactly how I meant that like the whole point of the experiment was that the catfished people with beautiful people and then if uh someone who is 400 pounds showed up yeah that was the whole point of the experiment yeah basically they made them think they were going on a date with somebody who's really attractive and then when they showed up it was very much the opposite the guys wouldn't stay with the girls who were not Model status but the women would stay with the guys who were not Model status all right so what was your question what can a guy convey that he is able to to uh to have a strong emotional connection on this profile display a healthy relationship a loving relationship with your mom and sister I think that is one of the main ways that a guy could put that on there if you show that you have like a really close family bond and that you really respect your mother and love her the same with your sisters that is a huge green flag because so like pictures with your mom with your sisters or what specifically that's the what they're like how would you put that into action for a guy like if you're sharing pictures of yourself like on your Facebook or whatever you have family pictures you have one with your you know you and your mom and for instance a lot of guys if you don't want to come off like a mama's boy like don't overdo it but you're just that's if you have a good relationship with your mother and that is a big green flag because you're going to treat your woman very much like you do your mother-in-law well yeah what I'm saying is there's a lot of there's a lot of guys who have a great relationship with their mom and with their um their sisters but they don't post it how would they post it what kind of post would it be what would the format be how should they do it whatever's genuine don't try to raise anybody up with your post you guys know what don't don't raise somebody up into your post you have to do what's genuine you know like you don't want to put yourself out there in a way that's fake just to get girls is what I'm saying so so this is kind of are though well you're you're asking like how are you going to present yourself to have an emotional connection I think you do have an emotional connection with like a good relationship with your mother and sisters from what I have seen from your social media and the way you've talked about them I would say yeah okay I was I was because I was thinking like do I because I have a bunch of pictures with them but if I come across like I do then great just for the small things like um your mom popping in the room on lives and the way you guys talk to each other you've shared pictures of you with like when she had her phone returned to her you had your arm around her and you know you're like you're very comfortable with each other you can tell you have a good relationship so you weren't trying to happen naturally that's great you don't really have to charge my point but if you want to just think about what you what you would normally say about your mom and sister don't do it with the intention of a girl seeing it because that's the wrong motive if you genuinely just want to express your love for your family members then do that in whatever way you feel like is appropriate and natural but most guys don't do that so it's not expected nobody's gonna think it's weird if you don't have it it might be more weird if you have a lot of it okay perfect um what let's see what do you think of pickup lines so it's the vendors stop tell them to stop they're only going to come back with a difference dude you quit reading them because okay you're gonna have to ask a question um if you scroll up on them thank you thank you if you scroll up you'll stop seeing the new ones um so what do you think of pickup lines the chat are absolutely bomb those need to become a thing great talking points in general they're cliche and useless I think they have seldom actually worked for some people they do but I want to say there's people who are probably in the minority I see okay interesting so like just what would be in place because like a pickup line as far as I can tell us is is designed to make a girl laugh or whatever just a just to initiate a conversation what's better what's better than a pickup line show genuine interest in her so this goes back to [Laughter] you oh boy um so you're fine it makes me lose my train of thought every time um okay so this goes back to girls wanting an emotional connection so you mentioned a guy's thinking she's pretty anyway what's wrong with saying hey I think you're pretty wouldn't slide into her DMs I don't think you should say that I'm just I was just saying the meta conversation is already kind of saying that okay but what a girl would rather have is an emotional connection she wants somebody that she feels like connects with her on such a deep level she wants to share her soul with somebody she wants to have a deep intimate emotional connection so whatever you can do to start to establish a connection whatever you can do to start a conversation with a girl that's genuine to form a connection like that to learn about her will make her feel very special early attacks is because girl are you taxes because I want to evade you Natalie said she's putting them in a document somewhere these are gold um but yeah so form form an emotional connection above all and that you're gonna have to to read your audience yeah I mean people have because people you know like people have layers it in conversation yes you have the layer of like small talk like it would be a way of of getting past that layer of small talk with a girl what did you just meet to be there emotionally for orgas you want to be but it's hard to get past that initially because they don't know you well you're gonna have to tap into whatever she's passionate about and you're not going to know what that is right off the bat but through small talk you can start to tap into that when you find something she's really passionate about you could start talking about that and find out why she's passionate about it what else she loves doing and where that interest stemmed from go back to like her childhood find out how she became the person she is today and why she's the way she is because everybody has a past history they've been through and a lot of struggles and things that have made them who they are and you're not going to hear about those in a primary conversation with somebody because that's too personal it's too deep but that's a good type of connection you want to have when people talk about be friends first in a relationship you don't just want to be friends first and it's hard to do in the message but you need to have friendship as a basis you have to have that Foundation if you can't be friends with the person you're not going to have a good romantic relationship you've got like the same qualities that a friendship has a marriage needs at its foundation you've got to have trust you have to have support you have to have acceptance good communication like all these things that make a good friendship healthy and Blossom you need that as a basis in a relationship vulnerability yeah what I have found initially in some conversations at camps is the girls going to as soon as they talk they're going to um they're going to uh repeat and insecurity of some sort in some ways like some really insecure they might say something like oh I'm just the I'm an exactly they might repeat something they're insecure about and I found that a way that you can you know initiate can like maybe an emotion just show that you care is by almost overcoming that uh insecure insecurity statement if that makes sense I I think I'm following what you're saying so like if she says something that lets you know she's insecure about it you can actually let her know that you think it's something to be admired rather than to feel secure about encourage her yeah encourage her 100 that is an excellent thing to do because it will make her feel accepted and over time it may even take away your insecurity yeah because people are their own worst critics like you can hate something about yourself and nobody else thinks twice about it or they actually think it's very nice but you will always look at that insecurity unless somebody repeatedly says something to help you get past it yeah yeah you're right but I like that I do have like a little story from before I had a phone that it didn't necessarily start with a pickup line but it's it's an interesting story I have a lot of interesting stories because I had a lot of creeps follow me around in life I don't know why I was a creep magnet so this is one of those stories but I I think it was 19 or 20 and um I was running an Etsy shop for my dad which is selling customized products online and you can make the items and then mail them from your home and instead of running to the post office every single day we would set up an online pickup so we get like the mailman coming down our driveway and doing a free pickup we'd have a USPS mail tub full of packages he picked it up put in his truck and then drive off and that was very standard we had that multiple times a week um so our regular mailman was not working on Tuesdays in particular and we had a substitute mailman a regular mailman was this I think he was like some type of ex-military guy really nice 57 year old dude he was just real friendly and then the substitute we had he didn't come very often extremely rarely he was a colored man I don't know his exact age maybe late 20s early 30s and a few months prior to this he had like knocked on the side door to get packages or something I slipped the tub out he'd take it so I see him like once before and then fast forward to the time the story actually happened um it comes down the driveway it's a Tuesday so it's the substitute and I wasn't used to seeing or seeing him or anything but he knocked on the side door so I opened it and I'm just in like bum clothes I have this ratty ankle length denim skirt old t-shirt I think my hair was just brushed and like completely down it looked a little bit like I was a mess so I didn't really want him seeing me but I didn't care because he was just the Mailman he was a substitute mailman what am I going to see him again so he knocked him on the door I got it from the computer opened it and I gave him the mail tub and when I opened the door he gives me this whole up and down look like twice real slow and I I felt like that was kind of weird I was just like it's because I am dressed so bad like old ankle length denim skirt my hair is not count and I was just like okay that's did I imagine that no I didn't okay whatever and then he starts talking to me he takes the nail tub I forget what he started talking about but he used to be in in the Navy he traveled a lot he's telling me about all the countries he visited um he saw my brother in the yard he starts asking me about my family is that my dad over there and then he's like he'd been staying there talking to me on his route minded he's on the clock he's standing there talking to me for like 10 minutes which I thought was kind of strange but I'm like okay never had a million to do this he's friendly substitute whatever and after a while he goes to is your dad okay if you talk to people and I was like yeah like I didn't know if he thought because my dad was outside and we'd been standing there for talking 10 minutes like if you thought that'd be an issue because people saw the way I dressed and they don't know what to think down in Alabama I had people ask me if I was at modern Amish because they saw me on a phone like they just don't really know what to think of people who have long hair and skirts down there so I thought he was gonna ask me questions like that or how I believed and then at some point he tells me he has to keep going on his route and asks me if he can have my phone number so that he can send me pictures from the countries he visited when he was in the Navy I do not have a phone legitimately and as good of an excuse as that was I didn't know how to say no and I said yes and let me go grab my iPod because I didn't know my number I got a number off of an app and the whole time I'm thinking Olivia what are you doing you're giving this mailman your number I don't want to do this but I can't say no and it was so weird so I went to my finger app or Vibe or whatever it was and I gave him the number on there and the whole time I'm thinking what are you doing I don't want him to have my number why didn't I just say no and then before he leaves he gives me uh like one of those I don't really call him like a little mail catalog that has cologne scents on them like you scratch and sniff to test the the scents and he hands that to me so I can smell it and have something nice to smell like it's gone and then he also told me a couple times that he thought I should wear really tight pants and slip my hair back in a ponytail because I thought that'd be a good look for me and he didn't know how old I was or anything and people usually guessed me to be younger than I was back then I was like 1920 and you say okay well you know I'm gonna text you you're going to see me again or whatever I'm just like okay I'm thinking what do I do I cannot let my dad know I gave this weird mailman my number who gets hit on by a mailman so I didn't know what to do I felt really bad about it I was like panicking so he starts texting me every pickup line on the internet any article you can possibly find about how to make a girl feel more attracted to you send her these messages he was sending me copy and pastes and I know this because whenever I was uh um maybe 17 18. I looked up almost all of those articles about um how to how to get somebody to like you over text not in a bad way but just like how guys and girls are different and what type of text you can send and so forth and I had I knew where he was getting these from and he was sending like all of them once like ever since I first saw you I always knew I wanted to meet you and all these others I was gonna log into the chat but I couldn't access my Viber account to read some of them it started getting weird and inappropriate and I kept telling him look I'm sorry I should have never given you my number I don't want you to keep texting me he continued doing it and it became harassment for weeks he quit texting me because I quit replying and I was terrified to walk around my neighborhood on a Tuesday because he kept coming consistently and there was a Tuesday we did not schedule a meal pickup I saw his mail truck pull up in front of our mailbox he put our mail in the mailbox we did not have a pickup he dropped off the mail he should have kept driving instead he pulls up at the top of our driveway lingers there for a second like he's thinking goes down the hill and knocks on the door I did not want to answer it and then another time I'm sorry he didn't knock on the he honked his horn he honked his horn there's no male peck of everything he comes down the drive I honked his horn and then another time that there was not a meal pickup and I think he came and knocked on the door another week and he was just like very persistent so that was very very weird I mean but the delivery was spot on I guess he he was using all of yeah all the how to get a woman texts yeah I mean the delivery was really good it's a really male dominated industry like that the fact he the fact he gave me that catalog with the scratch and sniff cologne so I could have something nice to Swan and who's texting me his whole route and he yeah it was kind of Relentless I kept telling him I didn't want to text and he was not being respectful of that he kept like pushing he was so pushy he had been previously engaged and his fiance broke up with him in Italy I think it was Venice so he had like two kids and I was fully convinced by the way he was interacting with me within a week he would have had me meeting his kids he was just like that that involved what way did he tell you to wear pants so how did that come up in conversation when he was giving you your old well we've been staying there for talking for like 10 minutes and I think he asked why I had a skirt a long hair because most people asked that which was a normal question um I forget if you asked if I was homeschooled but he was like feeling me out with questions like that but yeah he was telling me what he he would like like I cared but this random substitute mailman would like that's [ __ ] wow that's that's some professional that's terrible especially when you came under drive when honk the horns and the thing was like I would I would usually run out and get the mail as soon as it came in general so whenever my sister saw me like cowering inside the house and not answering the door the one time she's like what's wrong it's the moment I'm like I know that's why I don't want to answer so I told her what happened she was just like that it was very strange that is really strange this pickup lines did not work I can bet and once people have made fun of me they've made fun of me for this but they're like oh David what's your best pickup line this is what I tell them I say I have good style smell good be disciplined be uh um you know the grooming and everything with your fingernails and all that uh have money in the bank be out of debt have a car and pick up on conversational threads um have good anchor attack good body language and good tonality it's like 10 things before you even talk to her if you have those things that's like three-fourths of the way there and like for instance yeah Eli should say oh that's lame David when an actuality that pickup line because if you smell bad she's not going to want to talk to you I don't care how good you are talking to somebody if you don't uh if you don't smell good and if you don't look good and if you don't betray yourself as being capable and um and competent she won't want to speak with you well there's always an exception to the rule so I'm just gonna just move this out here just found homeless men on the street and took them and took care of them and fell in love with them so for some people it's not going to be a bill breaker but yes you should have good hygiene I'm just throwing out like an exception that has happened I've heard stories about that yeah I agree I'm not that guy like something someone said for me you know oh for you okay I'm always saying like well have all these other things first and then you know try talking to him you can say like something like uh I use this once and it worked um and I actually came up with this box this is girl next thing I was like I was like 16 she was real pretty she's next to me I had no idea to talk to her it's just it's like I had icebreakers in my pocket that says like hey you want an icebreaker they're really good at breaking the ice she laughed she got Icebreaker and we talked for a year it was great I mean that worked on her I have to be honest I don't think that would work on me unless I was like already really interested in the guy but everybody's different so the most important thing is be yourself because you want somebody to like you for you and if that works for them think great you found a potential match somebody who shares your humor which is you know a great thing that you can connect over so and say what do you think uh what do you think Olivia someone says that is not a pickup line those are just characteristics gotta have the risk what are they saying is non-pick-up line I didn't follow that when I was saying about character like you know be in good shape uh we have good style be together something like that it's like that's not a pickup line those are just characteristics gotta have the RIS you have to have rizz I just think this being a responsible human being I think there's a difference yeah because you do have to to be in a place where you can be the man you need to be for the family you want to have that's some talking about but like people like pick up on other words what they're saying is what is the most successful way to initiate contact with the girl and I'm saying have all those other things in line first so if your ducks like humor is good yeah humor that's a humor if like people love Thomas because he's funny Thomas is really funny people love him if you can get have good humor that's the best way to contact her all right is this question like something only you can see you were reading the it's the best way to contact a girl I don't know which one you were referring to the one you just read um let me see all that uh when my mom she said humor was good in a good relationship or humor is huge in a good relationship and I agree with that like like what were you listing the qualities for somebody had oh someone asked me Dave someone asked me at the end of the live what level and I said have the best have the baptism of the Holy Ghost be debt free have a plan have your life in order uh have good grooming smell good um have 10 grand at the bank have a car have a really good income and then uh you know and then that gets you 90 of the way there to initiate a conversation with the girl because if you don't have those things she will know it have your life together that matters more than some stupid you know girl are you are you Satan because you I feel like you fell from heaven or something like that you know are you an angel because yeah saying instead of pickup lines I would rather have these qualities because they're right that isn't a pickup line but that's what I'm saying I'm saying I'm saying that within about two minutes or if you I'm saying if you smell bad if you don't have those things in line a real Holy Ghost filled girl will not be interested in you if you don't have the Holy Ghost if you don't show that you take good care of your body if you're not in good shape usually and if you are in debt if you are uh if you're if you smell bad those things really matter a lot Style so I I am not somebody who supports debt I don't I don't think it's um a way to live people like to live the American history I'm saying to not have debt that's what I was saying yeah so however when you say it like that I think people might be getting the impression it's never okay to have debt which isn't necessarily true it's ideal not to have debt however I don't think it's a bad thing if a guy has debt because he has a house because most people can't pay cash on a house however if he's good at budgeting his money and managing his finances it will be okay he can pay off that debt early where he's avoiding a lot of the interest where he's like okay I agree for that so I agree for the house not really dead I'm saying a mentality of debt like if he's there talking to you and he's got you know six thousand dollars in credit card debt 25 000 debt on a car oh but he's got a Camaro you know um that's that's more what I'm talking about rather than the normal debt that Dave Ramsey talks about I'm talking about having your life in order and recognizing value and having a uh having um all your deduction a row and being actually capable of supporting a family before you speak to a girl will give you such a subconscious confidence that will come through when you're trying to initiate a conversation with the girl because a guy that makes twenty thousand dollars a year versus a guy that makes eighty thousand dollars a year one is going to be so much more confident than the other one talking to a girl because then it is they can support her so much better so people in the chat are making comments about school debt uh James said that is a given if you pursue higher education it's not unfortunately not always people they do have to take out loans most people in you know the parents are paying for it a lot of people do have school debt unfortunately it's the same people U.S yeah well I'm not even talking about having debt I'm talking about a mentality towards debt like I don't care if you have six million dollars in debt because you took like all the different let's say you have 600 000 in debt because you went to the doctor school and you're 32 years old but you make 200 000 a year if you have the mental I'm talking about having the mentality towards it where you are you know you have your reduction role as far as paying off debt getting debt out of your life if you have that mentality then you'll live a better life which will make you more confident which will make you more uh the better like someone asked Jordan Peterson or my brothers or my family I you know ask them how can I get the girl My Dreams they're like that's not the right question the right question is how can I make myself into the dream guy that gets the drink girl and that's my answer someone says like David what's your best pickup line or someone say like what's your best way to get a girl no the right question is what's the best way to make myself into the dream husband so that I can get the dream life that's a good goal to have but how many how many girls do you want to be interested in because ultimately you're only going to end up with one well one but what I mean though is you are making yourself into your dream the dream husband and you want the you want the one girl the dream wife and if you have a bunch of debt and you don't want to pay it off and you don't make hardly any money and you don't have a car and you're in terrible shape and you are super unhealthy you're making bad decisions consistently and you don't have a pastor you don't go to church consistently you don't have the Holy Ghost those are things that show that you're not fit for any girl really so what I'm saying is like instead of focusing on how can I get the girl like me personally in my life I'm focusing more on how can I be the best version of myself the best husband for whoever my wife's supposed to be make myself into the best guy rather than oh I'm gonna get sad about not having a girl because I'm in terrible shape and because I'm this because no make me into the greatest person Eli we can't add you because it would take way too long we can't add any third person it's already way too much content we're barely through half the questions it's too much content just for two people barely thanks so um the thing is you keep saying you want to make yourself the dream husband for the woman that you're gonna end up with yeah you don't know who you're who you're getting up with and the guy she dreams of so how do you know that you're checking off those boxes that she has because you don't know who she is yet you you have an idea of what you think her idea of a dream husband is but because they're they're Givens their Givens they're like I don't think a girl put there but I there's um there's a uh I would be very curious as to what girl would say no David I actually don't want you to uh have the Holy Ghost I don't want you to not be in debt I don't want you to not have a good income I don't want you to be in shape I don't want you to have good grooming I don't want you to have good style I don't want you to focus your whole life and give God everything I don't want you to keep on preaching I don't want you to keep on song Living I don't want you to put money money away for uh for a house she's going to want those things and it really it's like a game of a of a of Chess instead of trying to just take your queen out and your bishop and try to Checkmate the other guy as soon as possible build all of your pieces out first and create a uh a platforms for Success before you try to check the other guy's King well let me give you an example when I say women's lists are different see those are the things that you think a woman will value and prioritize in a dream guy however those things might not be deal breakers like she she might not care if she marries somebody who's a little bit out of shape if he's just really good to her and loves her it's of course her emotionally she'd would rather have that than a guy with six packs of abs so well it's it's not really necessarily about um those things that I mentioned they're not about you know I can't get a grown to the time but I'm saying a lot of that is with me not trying to um not trying to make things happen not trying to just text a girl that think is pretty until one wants to talk to me because that's about all that I can do right now um especially if people think like me doing these lives would be a lot easier at camps no it's a lot harder because of the girls like approaches me and says she likes a live or if I try doctor I don't know if they genuinely want to talk to me or if they're just being nice or if they just enjoy the lies they have no they don't want to talk to me whatsoever so it makes it even harder ironically um so I know those things what I when I say I'm focusing on those things it's more about me not trying to make things happen and just you know the Bible says commit the way of self under the Lord Delight itself also in him and he shall give the desires of thine heart so I'm trying to make myself as efficient and as effective as possible instead of trying to make it happen because my job was is literally to contact people for a living if I'm trying to make it happen then I'm just gonna I would just DM girls until one of them liked me and that's not a good idea that's why I'm more focusing on lose a bunch of weight get myself you know make myself as effective as a man as possible that's what I'm focusing on I think that's wonderful that you're wanting to be the best version of yourself everybody should shoot for that but I'm just saying like those aren't necessarily the the that's not necessarily what is the image of your future spouse's dream husband's material like that might not yeah yes should have the Holy Ghost there are some of those but I mean maybe she doesn't mind if you're in a little debt it's good to be out of it but maybe her personally she wouldn't care you know like you you don't really know something else might be more important to her so yeah keep striving to be the best version of yourself you know to be but I'm just saying that there might be things that are more valuable to her that you're going to have to learn over time so don't get like tunnel vision like oh I have all these things checked off I'm I've achieved status of perfect husband nobody can ever reach that place and you're always going to change and grow together as a couple also which I know you're aware of but I'm just putting that out there because it's something that comes out kind of often I think on the lives and there's a lot more to it like you know a guy could be super fit and you know be whatever else that you listed out of debt and all the stuff but he's just a homebody he hates travel well if that's the girl's passion that's the deal breaker so she really doesn't care about everything else because that one thing through all those other characteristics out the window she wasn't willing to go up that one thing for all those other things that he is so I mean ultimately you're only going to end up with one person that person has to accept who you are using another I agree with all of it I really do what I'm doing is because in some ways because my version of just lightly talking to someone even just to talk comes off is what people say oh you come off too strong or owe you too much there so you come off as desperate always everything but in actuality I do so much social interaction that me asking to talk to someone on the phone or me dming somebody or whatever else that is the my equivalent of having a conversation with them and um it's uh it's because I just um maybe right I'm praying about it and I want to do the best things that I can I uh I'm taken wrong people take me wrong so much to where it makes me just want to focus put more of my focus and will into making each time I sound it'd be the best time ever making each time I preach making these lives all the different things and then uh you know at the campaign I might meet somebody whatever else but because like my social norms and my way of approaching things is so drastically different from every girl I've ever met in the face of the planet that I come off as way too desperate and way too strong way too fast when really in actuality that's actually my version of not coming off strong at all just because of by God's grace the things I went through like I come off as very serious a lot of times because of the things we went through like with Amy like with my life like with the girls that I've talked to and they're weird parents it's things like that um so in many ways what I'm doing is because I want to people have told me oh you did this oh you do that you come off your strong all the different things so I'm just like okay fine I'm done with it all I'm just going to you know save a bunch of money uh get myself in perfect shape and focus on me for a while because I'm done with people saying telling me I'm too much this I'm too much that like I'll try to do things a certain way or not and people still have problems with it so I'm just that's I hope that gives you more about you know an overall picture as to why people unfortunately misunderstand a lot of people and for some people that can that can perform a complex if you just you just like you're understood by almost everybody which is really hard because you know your intentions but not everybody does and that's when it boils down to like finding those few people who are able to connect with you and really understand because understanding is such a huge part of any relationship friendship romantic relationship when you have that connection it's like this person gets me they understand me and you feel so accepted and like you've never been so hurt in your life like that makes it really special especially because you don't get much of that when you're constantly feeling understood by a lot of people um I forget where I was going with that but yeah somebody's going to accept you for you at some point but at the same time because you're so different and you realize that you're very unique in your approach to things that most people aren't accepted of it it would probably be in your best interest to try to conform to like the societal Norms because ultimately what your goal is you want to communicate effectively to other people so if you know before you say something that they're going to take it wrong and they're going to take it this other way that you don't mean then it's probably better just to explain it in a way they can receive it because your your ultimate goal is for effective communication where you're both on the same page you want to feel understood you don't want them to be offended or to to have a um misconstrued idea of what you meant you're right um change because it feels like you're not being used sometimes but yeah I mean I another thing is I don't know it's a it's a difficult thing I guess it is hard because you've been through things a lot of other people have when somebody Dives in and they get to know you better your ins and your outs the things you've been through in life like you've mentioned things here and there about the stuff you went through with Amy and talking that one guy out of uh killing a couple people like all of those things you're mentioning the topics but people don't know that trauma because it is trauma and so your brain goes into survival mode and it changes the way you think and there's all kinds of instrumental changes and yeah they hear the scenarios but they weren't there they didn't feel the emotions that you felt they weren't there under the pressure and the stress all of that stuff throughout your life especially at such a young age molded you into who you are not many people have experienced that not many people can understand what you've been through but that makes you you yeah it's us ironic I come off too strong in the beginning when in actuality it's going to take a lot from a girl for me to commit the rest of my life to her it's going to like I realize this in my last relationship was just like wait whoever I'm marry is going to be the mother to my children I'm going to be with this girl for the rest of my life if I can't stand it now I'm going to hate the rest of my life so you know I may even if I'm off just during the beginning I'm trying to work on these different things and it's hard because it's not me and um but even though even if even if it's you know talk to somebody it's still going to take a lot of trust and time because of the uh because I've realized as I've got older it's the rest of my life I'm a preacher I'm not going to get married more than once so it's um it's it's I make people think I might have come off this way or that way when in actuality it's going to take a lot for me to want to marry somebody probably in a lot of ways yeah not as actually desperate as people say that they I come across as what it actually is is I went like you said I went through so much trauma and so much things that I went through and fought it to where I come off as too strong when actually I'm a lot less hesitant to commit than the average people are yeah ironically and and a lot of that stuff like just going into survival mode I think like it gets buried inside of you in a way and then you don't even realize it but it comes out in other areas of life like you change subtleties and things you say and do and so it comes off as strange to other people maybe because they can't begin to understand what you've been through or why your mentality has like been molded that way but one of these days somebody's gonna understand and maybe it'll be easier for you to know when it's the right person because you just know like wow this person really gets me like nobody else yeah my dad told me something too he's like David remember you know looking for a girl you're looking for the girl and what I'm looking for is like for instance if a girl if someone asked me David what would be a way if a girl wants to talk to you and she wouldn't approach you now especially with all this stuff with lives and people know who you are and also like that the best way would be would be to be honest with me I hate with everything within me this stupid societal norms and social games of oh well if someone texts you and you don't and you actually could respond immediately you need to wait exactly this much time to respond because you don't want to come off this way oh in person you have to almost act like you're not interested in them at all in order to get them today I hate it all because it's not genuine if I'm genuine like if I was genuinely trying to save Amy I'd save her like I did more times than I remember if I wanted to talk about other stuff I would be genuine it'd be real and like I'm very intentional let's see uh Eli says Dave would you rather date Brianna Bray or would you rather date Zoey black I want to date and be with whoever God wants me to be with um but it's the uh whatever God wants David I'm not gonna answer the idea whatever God wants yeah um so you mentioned like people waiting a certain amount of time yeah like people say like oh if you get texted you should uh you should just like not respond because you don't want to come off as too available and I would say to that I know where they're coming from but I don't need to create artificial um artificial uh unavailability because from the hours of ten to six I'm not available because I'm working maybe from 12 to 1 a little bit but usually I just take a nap from 12 to one for all that because that's life and there's church this setting for service life already creates that for me but if I'm available I'm going to respond pretty fast because with these phones and all these different things um I can uh text pretty fast I can type 80 words a minute you know so like um people say that you need to do this like to me if I'm busy I won't respond if I'm not busy I'm gonna respond specifically like the girl and I finally she likes me too but there's another uh guy in the chat and said I never understood those unspoken social rules and the problem with that is um I think the meaning and things kind of got lost and it just got shortened so it's like oh make yourself unavailable you need to be busy the reason behind that is because if something becomes too common it loses its value so you know they talk about like mystery in relationships if you look like you have no life that's not interesting to somebody if you're somebody who sits around on your bed holding your phone like this 14 hours out of a day you're boring and so that's what that concept is trying to avoid you don't want to look like you're sitting there you have no life you're always so available that it's like oh they're always there like make yourself a little scarce yes um but you don't want to do that artificially I think it's harder to do when you're genuinely interested in a person that like you want to be there you want to see exactly when he texts you want to see exactly when she texts you want to be there and like have that conversation but it's so common now with technology that I think you have to remind yourself to give it a break give it a breather back when our parents were dating they would write letters or pay for very expensive long distance phone calls if they were in a different state like that you know they they were waiting for like weeks to get that letter there was that anticipation that mystery here everything is so instant it's just becoming too common you know yeah I agree like right away so you've got to make it intentional to keep some of that mystery alive and I think and then when you then when you take that and you and you sold over 10 million dollars worth of these phones and who put a store by God's grace number three in the nation running it by myself because of how many I was selling I can type 80 words a minute I can type without even looking at the phone so me responding instantly to something I can even do while I'm working sometimes and people think oh we're coming after some women actually when in actuality with the real truth of that is that's just because of the way I am with phones right yeah so you can do that and let's just say like all of us can it's so easy to make ourselves constantly available on our phone but then that takes away from the specialness it's like oh you don't have like a certain time to look forward to talk to this person because you can talk to them whenever and wherever you want they're always there it just kind of becomes old like you're gonna kill the flame a little too early like you do want to keep some mystery and interest but don't just pretend don't just throw the phone aside for half an hour and you know be watching the clock until it hits certain times so you can reply go and do something with your life so you have something to talk about that will make you more interesting for one I agree when you are talking to them you don't like you can talk to them and still portray that you have an interesting busy life when you speak to them you can still let them you know like communicate to them answer their questions whatever and then let them know oh I'm about to go do this with my family or yeah we're gonna go see this at this time like let them know you have a life you're doing other things you have interests outside of that text chat you're right I think you should have that's with the boys things you should have other things you're exactly right um I'm saying is uh what I'm saying is the uh make it more genuine rather than on purpose like yeah and not respond like if someone's not responding to me but they're posting things in their story and they're posting things on their page then like they're just not making time to talk to me you know so like it's um it's uh you're right still make time for your friends and your family and have a life outside of them and I think that work in school and church and stuff like that already creates that I'm the one I'm specifically referring to is sometimes when you actually can could instantly respond and I think that as you go along because you're exactly right I think as you go along with her she'll learn about you and learn or she'll learn about me and she'll know all these different things because I know the social Norm is different things Eli I am not going to add you tonight because uh it's just too late and it would add way too much time to this live but um you know I am learn I I am learning what sorry I was like I'm offended Eli you don't think I'm doing a good job yeah uh yeah I mean you're right and I have tried to add things kind of funny people like no you have to wait you have to wait exactly two hours and 37 minutes and 37 seconds with five milliseconds otherwise you do this and that I don't care about the future um but yeah you're right and I I do agree it was just a different uh perspective I guess okay sometimes I say things in such a way where it's so easy to disagree with because it creates more content sorry what was that last thing you said it was so easy sometimes I say things in such an extreme way as a as a host because I looked up like tips like for podcast tips for interviewing say things that you know though would disagree with so they'll correct you say things they use a dumb thing so that they you know that they will want to correct you because they love to correct and they love to expand so sometimes I'll say sometimes like usually I get taken the wrong way when I'm being normal but sometimes I do actually say things in a very almost very uh controversial way in order to get people involved and then I'll expand on what I with the actual balance is but it's just to see um David's having small text and in a way Eli I don't want someone to just come on and disagree with me I don't like the way you disagree um it says that what happened when you talk with Kate no I just messed up I what I did with Kade is between my job and these lives and helping my brother in love with this next uh things in his life I worked over 60 hours in the span of five days and that's why one of the reasons why I messed up a live which I apologize for and all that um but yeah so do you have any more thoughts Olivia about the certain things um yeah going back to something we mentioned like quite a while oh no actually this first so you mentioned you don't like when people post on their stories and things but they're not responding to you because you see that they have time like they're doing other things um that doesn't mean that they're like intentionally avoiding you I get what you're thinking as far as they're not prioritizing you but at the same time some people's lives which I could like I get where you're coming from because I could not fathom it when I didn't have a youth group and like there wasn't anything to do where I lived or you know there wasn't much there wasn't people who hang out with I could not fathom how people's lives were so busy they couldn't answer a simple text because like you know they're checking their phone how do they not have time to respond to me and I was like I'm never going to be that person I can't understand why they're like this they're not prioritizing me it's like you feel lonely you've had this time where you're just like wanting to communicate with people you would make time because you desire that so much but live living up here since getting married I never thought my life would feel so crazy busy I don't have time for things that I need to do for a long time I have texts sitting on my phone from months ago and I'm like wow I'm that person I said I would never be and I feel terrible about it because I want to reply to those people but I have so many like things pulling me in different directions and there's so many people up here now compared to where I was there's always something going on it feels like that like there's so much going on that is hard to focus on just the mundane normal things of life it's like oh there's this coming like I hardly have a free weekend which I'm not complaining about because it's awesome compared to what I was with but I'm just letting you know that people genuinely have such busy lives sometimes it feels easier to make like a Mindless Instagram post than to sit down and give a well thought out heart-to-heart message to somebody that they talk to so I wouldn't take it personally they're probably genuinely that busy not everybody but but give them the benefit of the doubt because it is possible I agree I agree like I um I I agree one of the things that made me uh upset in some ways about people um my responding is I have a friend who I texted things like six months ago like over almost a year ago and the person still has not responded it's really irritating um six months six months to a year some stuff but it's it's all good um but you're you're fine um but yeah I understand with it and it's all interesting it was more about just the perspectives and things because everyone has thoughts and ultimately everybody's different everybody's the same in some ways but also everybody's different as well yeah and I thought I was gonna make earlier as well when um you're talking about like people tend to get together with I think you mentioned just briefly that people tend to get together with opposites right usually yeah I will you know give us somebody who's very outgoing um and I think a big part of that comes down to novelty because that's something that humans need they need novelty in life something different that they don't have if you were dating somebody who is like your clone they're identical to you they have the same exact interest they just mirror everything you like you would get bored with them because you have all of that in yourself you don't want another you and I think yes man I just wouldn't want to live with another us you need somebody who can build you up to be the best version of yourself possible and it's not about completing the other person it's about complimenting each other because one person can have you know they can be weak in these certain areas and then they get together with somebody who has these strengths that make up for their weakness and together they're pulling the load where the other person struggles to pull it and it just makes them like a Powerhouse so I think it's novelty and then just like you're becoming a strong you're becoming stronger when you're together because you're making up for each other's lack I I think that's like an attractive thing like things that you want in life that you don't have you see somebody else who has it you're like wow that's so amazing you admire that quality about them and there's something else that can make you attracted to somebody I agree so my mom said great live with you on Olivia thanks oh thank you it's actually really fun I thought I would be super nervous but I'm fine I think it's because like I kind of know you even though we haven't ever met in person before so um let's see uh as a girl how would you advise a guy to be when he's looking for a girl and by B let's just say I mean uh how would you guys advise a girl to look for a wife let's say how would you advise a guy to look for a wife yeah um there's so many things that make up a good person so it it goes beyond like just being kind and considerate and a gentleman to the person you're interested in here's a way to start it actually you're wondering how to start out a thought of what to do you can begin it by focusing on what you shouldn't do foreign supposed to do when he's looking for a wife first answer what is the guy what are some bad things a guy does when he's looking for a wife the wrong ways of doing that what's the wrong way to look for a wife in the message I mean these are all things we've heard before if you just look at her looks that the wrong way to go about it but at the same time all guys do it that's right and I couldn't say it back to the girl too is the looks because you don't know her character right and there's nothing wrong with that like I don't think guys should be berated that that they do that it is a known fact but it's the way guys are made they're visual and I don't think that it's wrong for a guy to see a pretty face and then be like oh she's pretty I wouldn't mind looking at that for the rest of my life that's a fair thought to have you know like you have to wake up next to it every day like is it fair thought to have and I don't think it's wrong that a guy is attracted to a girl I mean honestly would a girl like if if she was dating a guy and he's like man I just love your personality but you've got such an ugly face no girl loves that she wants a guy to find her attractive woman wants to feel beautiful so I don't think they should get upset when a guy that they don't like finds them attractive honestly if a guy if a girl told the guy that as long as she still liked us we probably would not care but if that's all you're looking for face value then obviously that strong everybody knows that so um what I was going to delve into it was a little bit off of the main path to answer that people would usually hear so it goes without saying a guy should be a gentleman but for whatever reason there's not enough gentlemen in the message it's very sad that I can go out into a Walmart and there's guys with tattoos druggies like their pants hanging too low and they treat me with more respect and kindness than my brother in Christ at a camp hold on one second Eli no jokes about people that got that are dead that's a no-go on the line but go ahead and continue okay um like I I think it comes to I I don't know there's some people who think they're above other people just because somebody's raising the message doesn't mean that they're truly message Believers or that they have the Holy Spirit there's a lot of people who don't and humans are human um but there's been a lot of businesses where guys end the message who are supposed to be brothers in Christ are just jerks and no we're not how dare you say it I'm kidding I mean girls yeah there's bad apples too this for both but you asked a question about the guys I know what you mean yeah yeah it's like you know if if a stranger on the street a sinner who doesn't go to church can treat a lady with more respect and kindness than somebody who is going to possibly spend eternity with her like that's really sad um so anyway there should be more gentlemen than there are but rather than just looking for a guy who treats you well because he's interested in you and he's kind to you and he's nice to you because he's interested in you it's important to look for somebody who is kind and a Gentleman and consider it to everyone whether he's interested in you or not because how he treats people in general says a lot about his character if he's only treating you well then he could very well just be putting on to get what he wants yeah I agree and it's very telling if a guy has friends or not which I've heard my whole life but it seemed that almost every guy that I talked to or dated they didn't really have friends they didn't end up being great guys either but I I don't know I like I I haven't fully wrapped my mind around that so maybe you can help David because Guy friendships are very different girlfriends like girls if their friends long distance it's harder if a girl already has a youth group because by Nature if you already have people around you you're less inclined to uh communicate with people long distance but still if there's that connection girls will be intentional intentional about talking on the phone or texting guys on the other hand they can go a year or two years without ever sending a text they see each other in their Bros which we take yeah because there's no emotional connection in that two-year you know time frame 20. the guys still have emotional connection when I saw Paul and Ben Browning at TW team byc I had not seen them in a year basically and almost immediately I was having like emotionally charged conversations with them so yeah guys guys are way different every single guy I talked to doesn't really have friends they say they do but then they never talk to them so to a girl that's not having friends but that's like how all guys seem to maintain their friendship so it's it's we don't talk about them take away from emotionally tried it's not necessarily emotionally charged you know we're men we're making we make things happen if we're gonna have a conversation it's gonna be a conversation about making something happen you know like we really don't have heart-to-hearts we're not women you know we're not weirdos um so like but for instance it may look for someone's thought that I don't have friends when I go to byc there are probably 200 guys that I know at byc or at least 100 because I've been going there for over 15 years um [Music] so like uh but we'd never talk and you're right girls have emotional things guys have more of a uh it'd be interesting to do a study on guys friendships because guys have a um more of a connection on a like uh are you a good man you are a good man too good and not talking about each other behind their backs not saying a negative about one another and you know like talking good things about each other bandage two of those backs and you know encouraging them that would mean more than some Heart to Heart these guys don't really do that a lot of them don't I feel like the guy equivalent to a heart to heart is like too gross sitting on a couch then they just like look at each other eat a snack and they're like you're good yeah I'm good like that is a hard start right there like if your guy eats pizza with me outside of my family not many men have eaten pizza with me you know so it's like a very intimate moment with your brother exactly you know because we're eating pizza together exactly like we like someone there's a comedian that said that like his wife got mad at him when he didn't ask his golf buddy about uh about uh about uh his his golf buddy that got divorced recently or he's going through a hard time's relationship he's like yeah I didn't because it didn't come up we were just playing golf it's a difference but there's differences like for instance if you put Zion eamund and I in a room together we're going to talk because we're both we create we have dads who are really good preachers it's going to be different you put Ben Browning and I understand which can be a little bit different or even Paul Brown again it's going to be a little bit different it depends on the guys really yeah and James said uh I have heart to hearts with some guys every now and then and I believe that is the case for some men because some men are more in tune with their emotional side than others which is a very good thing because some woman is going to treasure that it's a really hard thing for a woman when she wants to connect with a guy emotionally and he doesn't know how because he's never done it before he doesn't even do it for himself with his guys he doesn't understand the need for it if there's a guy who enjoys having those occasional Heart to Heart talks he's in touch with his emotions he knows how to express it and how to connect with somebody compassionately a woman is going to treasure that someday but we wish that more did yeah guys do have these come have them every five seconds of a day um we you know we don't have them as often and a lot of times you guys don't even tell their problems to others um because we are more apt to want to just solve them ourselves um so we we do have conversation with the guys but like you know the person that I really have conversations with immediately the person that I have conversations with in my life where I'm actually inviting them a lot is like you know the most anyway I do with a lot of guys but really the most is my dad by far my pastor I had to add my best friend good job yeah that's always good to have a close connection with your dad a good role model yeah yeah I referenced the notes because mine are a mess on my phone so and you're fine like look how it even the green is that is it's like a toy and to think I never bigger than this hilarious uh okay what things don't work when you're trying to get a girl interesting didn't you I just realized I never finished answering the last question sorry about that you're fine um so what a guy needs to do and he's intentionally looking for a woman I believe it was yeah you have to get your priority straight which you've touched on I know people say this but I don't think people will realize just what it means to to be spiritually where you need to be you have to realize you're taking on a huge responsibility God is going to hold you accountable for to be the head of your house you're going to be responsible for your wife and your children your actions how you lead the household that is huge you have to make sure you're at a place spiritually where you can be the right type of head the right type of leader and you've got to make sure you have your own personal relationship like personal daily don't count on going to church twice a week you have to make sure you're spending hours praying every week you gotta pray every day read your Bible do what it takes to get closer to God you have to know which where you stand on all of these different issues that you hear in church like stream sermons of ministers that you trust Listen to More tapes do your own studying read the message because when you read uh the actual type out you you recognize things that you miss when you're used to hearing the same audio over and over and over because we've had the tapes for so long if you are a regular tape listener you've heard a lot of the sermons multiple times you're going to graze over stuff in your mind read it like see how it dovetails with the Bible you have to put it together and know how to lead a household so when your wife comes to you your kids and you're like hey Dad what about this can you explain it to them can you do you know how to guide them do you have your own walk do you know what you believe where you can even testify to somebody on the street who says hey there's something different about you I can tell you're a Christian but there's something different about all the other Christmas I met you can't just say oh I believe this and this and then there's this quote for this they're not going to accept that they don't look at quotes as they're absolute the way we do we already know that God's not into negative Prophet we can see it in the Bible they don't have that you have to be able to show them from the Bible and you can't just say oh I don't know what I believe because that doesn't look good like how can you lead a family when you don't know what you believe make sure you're where you should be spiritually and none of us are where we should be but do what you can to to have that relationship you have to be first and foremost financially make your preparations and be prepared as hard as it may be for some guys you have to be willing and prepared to know your your investing your time and money into this other person you have to be selfless you cannot have a happy and successful marriage if you're selfish you have to put your own thoughts needs desires on the back burner and both people should be doing this for each other and you're prioritizing the other person above yourself and giving 100 to each other and if you're preferring each other it'll go a lot more smoothly and you have to be willing to make those sacrifices to care about your wife's feelings that you don't understand to you know be willing to have emotional talks and things and help her realizing she's like the more fragile vessel um so if you're not ready and you're thinking well I want somebody to clean the house and cook for me but I don't want to deal with the relationship part don't get married don't do that to somebody and when you're dating be a hundred percent I shouldn't even have to say it should be 100 honest there's people who aren't honest when they're dating you need to be completely honest when you're dating that person don't pretend to be somebody you think they want you to be so that you don't get dumped you for for their sake if you truly care about them you should be completely honest express the things that you want in life your goals your plans the things that you like you dislike and if there's something there that's just you know it's going to cause problems later you're not willing to accept it have enough Grace to be honest and say we're not a good match and go the other way don't pretend to be something you're not just because you don't want your ego to get hurt you've got to be honest above all when you're looking for a woman prepared to be honest be selfless no ego God first wife second it's already good by no ego what do you mean no ego well everybody has a little bit of ego but no ego is in you have to be willing to lay down Pride because if somebody's prideful and arrogant and they do something hurtful but then they're too proud to apologize it's beneath them well then you're just leaving uh you're leaving wounds in what's supposed to be the most intimate relationship that two people can have and when you leave those wounds you're hurting somebody you love and those things don't go away you want to try to like repair it smooth things over best you can come come to some type of agreement you didn't mean to hurt their feelings you let them know but you can't just say oh I'm Too Proud to apologize and who cares if your feelings got hurt you know you you have to be obviously be considerate so that's where I was getting at with that you have to be willing to set aside your pride for the uh and consider the other person's needs above how you might feel okay that's all really good so I'll answer this first and if you answer it since you actually married when someone says like by the way all of that was really good like that's that's all amazing um when someone says they're in love or what does it mean to be in love several times I won't say several I'll say um let me see here mm-hmm maybe two times in my life I thought I was in love with someone they were in love with me when in fact it was just the idea of who they were I didn't actually know who they were um in my opinion from what I've seen from people who thought they loved each other versus the ones have actually worked out but being in love means is that you prioritize being with them over everything else you don't care if you're technically writing an argument but you have to say you're wrong if it means staying with them you don't care if you have to move 8 000 miles if it means staying with them you don't care about anything else as long as it means you get to stay with them then you you uh you take you put the importance of being with them over everything else and nothing will stop you from being with them you can't live your life without them to me that's what I've seen is the evidence of being in love with someone what are your thoughts I think there's different types of love and that it's possible for somebody to be in love more than once because people are at different stages in life like a child is very new to the world they have a very limited perception of what love is they only know what love is based on what they experience from their caregivers but it's love to them to the capacity they know how to love their loving so I think as we grow and go through different ages and stages of life it is possible for you to love somebody as much as you know how to love somebody that's the only way you can think to describe the emotion but that doesn't mean that they're the one I think you can feel love for people there's different types of love it they can feel love for people who aren't necessarily the right one um but it's very possible I believe that you actually loved those people in the past in whatever way you knew how to at that time now it wasn't necessarily reciprocated to the extent it would need to be for it to be a lasting love but that doesn't mean that there wasn't any love there and like uh Caitlyn Barrett said a lot of people just fall in love with the idea of someone yeah yes someone asked uh what can a maker girl all of a sudden just not like you anymore not want to talk to you anymore what kind of a girl suddenly stop liking and God there there was a reason the reason there was a reason um that varies on so many different levels the reason could have been she heard something about you she didn't like and believed it to be true without checking with you sad but people do that um she could have seen something about you she didn't like or she was trying to like you and thought maybe she did and you thought she was more invested than she was and one day she was just like you know what I really don't maybe she did she met somebody else and realized that she didn't like you as much as she thought and she finds other people besides you a lot more likeable so sometimes it's a wake up moment and I had this I think I want to say for sure the first person I ever dated um they were nice to me but everybody else thought they were a jerk and I could do a lot better so it was hard for me to see because it's like hey there's this guy who's nice to me like you know I didn't get like the jerk side um but when you're by yourself and you don't have other young people and you're not seeing other guys you only have this one guy that you're ever communicating with that's all you have to go off of and then if I finally went somewhere else like to another Camp it's like oh I've seen all these other people all these other individuals all these other personalities how they treat everybody else it's like wow they're more enjoyable to talk to and be around than the person I'm dating it's like a wake-up moment when you finally bust out of your little bubble and then you get like a taste of what else is out there it just kind of wakes you up more to the fact people are different and there is a better fit pretty much if if there's like a room and you stick I don't know big room three dozen people in there half guys half women you leave them in there long enough somebody is going to start liking somebody else um yeah my dad said if you take if you if you take a bar with 20 guys just 20 guys there will be perfect peace if we're going to get along put two pretty girls in there they'll be fighting within 20 minutes or less yeah I think it's part of human nature it's like you know the opposite genders attract and you stick you know three dozen people in that room somebody's gonna you leave them in there you know just to talk socialize whatever consistently for two three weeks they learn something about each other they're going to start forming an attraction and like someone in that room but that doesn't necessarily mean that that's the best option that's just what's available to them that's all they know then you let them out and they mean other people's like oh well never mind you weren't that great after all this person is awesome you know it doesn't sound good but when you have more options and you get to know other people it just expands your horizons I agree when I when I was going across my uh definition of being in love I was talking about the true being in love because I personally don't believe you can truly be in love you're in love with them they're in love with you and if it's truly there and it's the one that God designed before the foundation of the world unless one of these backsliding you're going to end up together and that's what I've seen of course there's different kinds of Love Like I Love my I love uh milkshakes you know I love that you know drinks whatever and I even love a girl or you can love there was a video I saw like do you like being do you love not or do is the value from her that you're just not alone anymore is the value that um they're just a heart you heard one girl she's actually backsliding another she made a good point she said what is the her sister was talking to a guy and she asked her sister like hey do you just like like do you only like this guy because he's just really nice to you and you're used to people being so mean like people are you just like nice to me or do you just love them or do you like uh are you interested in them because they're a normal nice human being rather than um rather than uh what they're used to see someone said so like for me I'm required before uh before I get to know a person but I act more myself whenever I get to know that person do you think she could have gotten weirded out the only way to know for sure is if you ask her it takes a lot of guts to ask someone that but there's a thing that I do I do it in sales all the time for instance I give you really good analogy I talked to a guy about something it turned out he had nothing to do with it he was the regular guy but I'd have to call it all right corporate office so I asked him hey I do this cold calls all the time how did I come off could I have done better I broke the walls of whatever because I'm a Salesman he's like I thought you did pretty good so you could even ask me like hey I know it didn't work out or whatever um but was there something that I did wrong or is that could you really tell me I'm not trying to convince you to like me again I'm just wondering what did I do wrong that way I can do better for the next time it takes a lot of guts to ask that but you could ask it like that way because you're separating the emotions from the question and looking at it more in a uh objective sort of way rather than emotionally attaching yourself to it [Music] there's so many things that could have been Landon I don't know if you guys were dating or not but just in my opinion dating texting talking whatever I think whoever like ends the communication whether that be guy or girl you 100 need to give that person a reason don't torture them you want to hear a story where a girl didn't give me one sure okay so there's this girl like over a year ago I talked to her for two weeks and we got along really well really fast the first night we talked I'm not even kidding we talked for eight and a half hours straight eight and a half hours and should be called that they said we've talked we talked about two weeks and then she invited me to Camp I went to the camp and then at the camp she was really standoffish and she texts me and she says I just think we should just uh I think we should just like not ever talk again God bless you and I was like what why I'm just curious and she would never tell me why um yeah I think people avoid giving a reason because they don't want to hurt the other person but they don't realize it does more damage not to give a resource like if you ever remotely cared about that person just have enough decency and respect to give them a reason just tell them why so they're not torturing themselves trying to figure it out Play It Again I think they were the reason because they don't want to hurt you they didn't tell you the reason because they don't be because they it's easier not to that too yeah for sure because like for instance there was a girl I tried to talk to one time and she just told me oh I like someone else I'm like oh sweet okay cool looking uh good for him and it was instant but if someone just like doesn't responders and tell you why like oh what's up doggy what's his name a very cool name for a dog thank you but I mean like but yeah it's uh they say oh I don't want to hurt his feelings like no you didn't want to go the extra mile that's why you weren't honest with the guy like people make time for what they want to make time for people are honest with what they want to be honest with and it is easier just to say I don't talk to you anymore than to um say the actual reasons as to why 100 Landon I asked her but she said I didn't do anything wrong but she said I didn't do anything wrong it's weird there wasn't a reason she said here's the thing Landon if someone isn't willing to treat you with respect in that way then they're not actually worth your time if someone's not willing to be an actual human being to you then then you would come up as desperate if you're still trying to figure out why move on with your life there is a point where you're just like you know what this person actually is a good thing I dodged a bullet that uh she's being as weird I just need to move like I did with that girl I talked for two weeks all of a sudden she didn't want to talk to me ever again I'm like wait I think I dodged a bullet with this one God bless you thanks for inviting me to this Camp I absolutely love it you know yeah but thanks brother Andrew if you're uh someone said how eight and a half hours how in the world her and I were were uh nerds about the exact same like five different fandoms and she had uh different medical issues that caused her to be really hyper um and uh we uh eight and a half hours I was driving back from a long trip so we were able to talk for a long time something similar happens uh we were dating up on the phone all night I didn't even want to like I was gonna go to bed and he just kept talking we kept talking it's funny because he's quiet now but I think we're on the phone eight and a half nine hours it was like he called me after dinner when he finished work and then we were just talking to each other and then day broke and he had to get up and go to work again hadn't slept at all like it does happen it does happen did you guys talk the whole time yeah yeah the whole time what did you talk about then you're on the phone eight and a half hours you didn't talk well yeah I mean yeah we talked the whole time we were both talking a lot and then we talked like the night after the next night for like seven hours so I mean what did you and him talk about we had so much long phone calls I don't remember I honestly don't remember that was like a year and a half ago I think I don't remember what I would talked about that night like people say like oh well this person seemed like there's so much the one what I like to say is like they were 20 80 the one or seventy percent of one they were so close to being the one but they weren't actually the one maybe most of them want to say someone says uh I used to like this guy or Sharon says I used to like this guy they told me and he told my sister that he was into older girls The Humble mate and I just didn't like him anymore oh I'm sorry Sharon that's sad I think any guy like me personally any guy that wants to uh that um really wants to do whatever God wants it's really whatever God wants honestly um you really don't actually care how much is that phone bill we have unlimited minutes so it doesn't cost anything seven hours yeah we talk a lot especially especially when you like you understand each other yeah yeah and sometimes it only comes down to like a good friendship but I do think there are instances going back to what you said before I do think that you can love somebody who isn't right for you per se it's just not the same as it's not enough but love is sacrificial so you gotta have that acceptance and then where both people are willing to just go all in and sacrifice long term so do you think that somebody only has one mate on the earth or is it possible that they have multiple people that they could potentially end up with and they can just choose a very definitive answer this is actually a really good question for brother Andrew Glover since he says about these things um but I feel like God predestinated us to be with one maid and maybe like for instance like for the brand of his wife died and then he married uh he went from Hope and had sister meet and that was predestined by God I believe um so personally that God predestinated someone it's your soulmate it's the one God predestinated for you before the foundation of the world and they perfectly fit um I would say that it's more of you know something or predestinated by God rather than oh well this person or this person are perfect fit I need to choose between them remember the band did talk about a girl that had a choice between two different guys and she never chose and she lost them both but I think it's I'd have to do more studying to give a very definitive answer but I would lean personally more towards the uh God predestiny to be with a certain someone rather than having multiple choice okay so I'm talking about it because I feel like there's like it leans very strongly two ways to what you said where God predestinates somebody he's molding somebody to fit you perfectly like he knows who you're gonna I'll be right back you can keep going I'll be right back okay uh well he's gone I'm gonna go back and answer a question that I thought [Music] that's moving uh Landon asks should you keep talking to someone who doesn't like to tell it about themselves no if they refuse to open up to you you're not gonna be able to ever form a deep connection you can't learn about them and no if you can get them to open up at some point but if if it doesn't sound like the person trusts or maybe likes you enough to feel safe opening up there is another one what if the girl is two years older than you is that okay it's comfortable if you're okay with it I suppose my my mom made an interesting comment that has stuck with me since I've heard her make it um and that is if the woman came from a man's rib then why I would his rib be older than him just it was just an interesting comment that was just like hmm that is true of course there are some some couples where the woman's older than the husband and they have a very happy marriage but it's just like food for thought and I'm going back to your question from earlier Landon um did you say that the girl said that there was I think I believe you said that um she told you there is nothing wrong for like you didn't do anything wrong even even if you didn't do anything wrong or that there wasn't a reason that there was a reason a hundred percent you'll have to repost it Isaac um there was a reason she didn't share it with you but there's always a reason and unfortunately sometimes people will just never tell you what that is but you you know for a fact that they weren't the one for you so you can look at that as your answer on it's tough but it's always worth it I'm looking for a question Isaac I just don't see it way up what's the difference of randomly finding a person who's better versus voicing concerns when the issue is too much copper stop it when the issue is too much um so it's not that concerns weren't voiced obviously yeah you want to voice your concerns but what I have noticed was that that no matter how many times I mentioned the concerns or what the concerns were it was always oh yeah and then like they pretend like they would fix it or they were going to improve that area they never did they not saying that they didn't want to but maybe they couldn't because that's just not who they were and when somebody shows you who they are I think you should believe them the first time don't keep expecting them to change after they've shown you that they can't um because it's easy for people to say they can or they'll try to do this but I I never really saw a change yes copper doing copper things so you can voice your concerns but at some point you have to know when the person is who they're saying they are you have to believe them the first time and don't keep collecting red flags I would know all about that a commercial break actually what would help me because I'm not used to doing these lives these questions the questions would help because I don't want to go on about my topic um that I started on when he left the room because I wanted his input on that if the rib is from you then why would it be younger than you as you no you wouldn't have to be the exact same age how do you know when you found your mate please don't say you just know when you know it's a debate comment okay this is actually a topic that David and I were going to talk about because for sure that has driven me nuts my whole life people who are married would always say when you meet someone you'll just know that doesn't help somebody who hasn't experienced it and I had determined Within Myself that after I got married I would actually give a real answer to that because I got so sick of hearing from everybody you'll just know when you meet the one you'll just know that doesn't help but unfortunately I have to say they're being honest but I think it's not being explained very well the way I would explain it to somebody is brother Branham said somewhere that you need to have a direct Revelation from God or you should have a direct Revelation from God before you marry somebody and faith is a revelation and when you have faith for something you just know like you you can't necessarily prove it or explain it but you just know there's something deep inside of you you just know beyond any shadow of a doubt and I think it's that faith so that they're them saying you just know when you meet the one it's like a shorter version of that and I know that's not maybe the answer that you guys hope to hear but I think it comes down to you have that revelation you can't force it and you're not gonna know what that's like until you experience it but wait until you have that experience when you're not questioning anymore and you have that faith that you are certain what were you saying sorry I'm back now okay good she said I can deal with that answer um Beth Gates had asked how do you know when you found your mate please don't say you just know and you know it's such a big comment which was one of the things we were going to talk about so definitely they they they also like the same exact kind of sodas I'm kidding I have no idea I don't know what was your answer um that somewhere I remember brother Brandon saying that you should have a direct revelation of before you marry somebody you should have a direct Revelation from God before you marry that person and faith is a revelation and when you have faith for something there's not necessarily a way to prove that you just know like Faith isn't knowing so when you have this deep knowing inside of you you can't explain it but you just know beyond any shadow of a doubt then that's what they mean by you just know it's it's been revealed to you and you have that Faith to step forward it's all really good I agree I've never been married so I I like answers in some parts of it I guess as far as like Anna's mentality and Amy's and Sarah's but yeah it is a collective answer everybody my dad when I first met my mom uh God spoke to him and said you will marry that girl and then he did three years later wow yeah and the see the thing is it's like you don't want to get caught up in everybody else's experience because no two individuals are the same you're not going to be dealt with exactly the same everybody has a different love story so you can't say oh this one person was told three years in advance exactly first and last name who did who they were going to marry that could have been for them but that is highly unlikely that will be your situation yours is going to be very unique to you it's going to be a love story written just for you two so don't go trying to live other people's lives or like looking for a specific sign that somebody else received that was for somebody else and if your answer only comes from just knowing I think you'll be happy and content just to know who your person is finally yeah good stuff um what if others try to convince you she's not the one even if you know she is well if somebody can talk you into it they can talk you out of it there's people who disagree with people getting married and that's their opinion but that doesn't mean it's true I mean we're not living in an age of like arranged marriages so who is somebody to tell you you can or can't marry somebody else if you know for sure it's your life they're not going to be living your life would you want to listen to somebody else's opinion who doesn't matter and then regret the rest of your 40 years of life that you didn't end up you knew you should have been with yeah being single has his perks From Grace Smith yes it does it does I've saved so much money if you ever go back and you and you calculate how much money you spent on relationship relationships it's a lot especially for a guy like save a lot of money not being in relationships okay so I have to hit on this one somebody said oh where to go it was right above the comment it started I think I skipped it so if a person really knows that she's the one even though she's older how does that work okay so the whole all right you've got to take out the grain of salt there are going to be people who claim they know you are the one and you are not they're one I'm speaking of her personal experience um so whether they're older or not that doesn't matter I like God works on both ends of the line so just because one person is saying I absolutely know you're the one for me you're the one for me okay well that's what they believe but do you have that same Revelation because because if it's right I believe God will give you both that Revelation because there has to be an agreement in order for you to get married so so older younger yeah it's whatever God wants people like to put things into a box and then try to control this with it really it's whatever God says there's no one-size-fits all so when you had gotten up we were talking about um whether somebody had one mate or an option of like multiple people that they could choose for me so I I believe God has somebody Pro destinated for somebody but at the same time if you look up quotes about this the way by the brand worths it it sounds like you have a choice because he he refers to I mean he actually specifically says you have a choice in who you're going to marry and I used to look at that like well what does that mean though do you just have a choice between like 8.5 billion wrong people and one right person or do you actually have a choice between a few people who could all be good fits like I wasn't sure how to look at that but he he talks about how we're free more agents and God gives us a choice in who we're going to marry and really there are different people that you can be compatible with like people that you're in relationships with in the past it didn't necessarily work out like long term but there was still something you liked about that person like there was qualities you liked and then the next person you were with didn't have all the same qualities but there's something else that you liked that attracted you to them and those obviously didn't work so you're making a choice in like what you're willing to put out with who you want to live with what qualities you want and obviously God knowing all things he knows who you're going to pick in the long run then you hear about people picking the wrong one the right one and it's just like it's such an interesting topic it's really hard to say but for sure about it too brother said uh if you picked the wrong one you could ruin your entire life um and I do believe that God knew you're going to marry and I wouldn't believe that God had to press a predestinated mate for you okay God told Dad who he was supposed to marry and this also like uh since like Mariah says I think he means there's also perfect well and permissible like you may marry the one who God didn't want you to marry but as soon as they have the Holy Ghost God can make things work out just perfect well anyway let's see I don't think predestination and free choice or contradictory my pastor someone with a predestination is God knowing what your choice will be exactly and someone could say well that proves there's no free will but no if I design a computer to operate a certain way and it has free will it'll operate the way that I designed it to in the way that I know not even necessarily because I programmed her because I uh forced it to do it but because I know how it's designed and it's made in my own image and after my own likeness and I know it's going to make because I know all things I'm God if you also when brother Brandon makes a statement about if you get the wrong one here you'll have the right one there um the paragraph that was in it seemed possibly to indicate that if you married somebody who didn't have the Holy Spirit like if you were born again Christian you had the Holy Spirit and you ended up with somebody who didn't you would have the right one there was sort of I said I had that quote say to my phone but um I did a horrible job referencing it because it's worded much better but that's just what it made me think of yeah in some ways it's more what he talked about was more about what not to do rather than choosing rather than marrying the right one I guess yes because if you look at it one way and and at the same time it's like if you think oh there's only this one person for me it feels overwhelming to think okay there's 8.7 billion people in the world and then you're just supposed to find this needle in a haystack you're like you're looking around finding the one but yes you're supposed to be prayerful about it and trust that God will lead you to that person and I think that's why it is a miracle when two people meet because for for the two right people to come together and it's ordained of God I think that's that's a miracle okay we're not purposely ignoring brother Andrew Glover Andrew Glover wanted a shout out I think shout out what honestly what even is a shout out someone hearing their name and alive what even is that okay they want to feel heard we see you people any followers it's 29. let's see it's just a wife okay um so like uh what would you say to a guy who's interested in a girl but not confident about doing anything about it I'll give you an example for instance what if the guy grows interested in would widely be considered as like objectively one of the prettiest girls in the whole message and he knows that she's getting guys dming her all the time she's getting a truckload of male attention what she did how well you know how what should he do I mean if he shoots his shot he's no Warsaw than if he didn't try if she rejects him because he has nothing to lose I accept maybe a little bit of his ego honestly if you if you have a half a brain like me with my job my job is to do with rejection like no is hearing the word knows what I do for a living like once you realize that the rejection is going to happen like it's part of getting the right thing then it doesn't hurt you as much emotionally it'll still hurt sure but um it's part of it you're gonna be rejected by every girl you ever with except for one right or or even if she doesn't reject you initially at some point you one of you will have to break it all if you feel like it's not right um so my question would be how confident are they in knowing what they want do they actually really really want to get to know that girl are they confident that they want that because if they are really confident that they have to have that I would think that would be motivating enough for them to want to try what and like what you told me about the uh pods makes me think like for instance would have noticed a camps usually the ones that you could consider to be at the top as far as the prettiest girls of the whole Camp usually they have a lot of friends they hang out with maybe that's because they don't want to be approached by guys it could be um see so you mentioned the like the prettiest girl in the message I I've heard this tossed around so many different times where people are like oh this girl could have anybody she wanted this guy could have any girl he wanted pets never true I know it feels that way to some people like they're unreachable but there is somebody who cannot stand that person there is somebody who doesn't think that they're all that and that is I agree and reject them I agree and not necessarily saying that everyone what it means is that statistically they get more male attention than the average really pretty girl and they also have to reject more men than the average girl does or the guys to reject the roles like statistically they have to deal with it more so there's a higher chance of them getting rejected when they try to talk to them right and because they have so much Choice like someone may feel insecure like I'm not in the best physical shape I'm not in this I'm not in that I mean they may not want to talk to me yeah yeah well I guess where I'm coming from is I've had a couple people make that statement in reference to myself and I was just like no that's not true how can you say that because then the guys that I thought were nice that I was interested in wouldn't pay me any minds and so it's like okay you think that but that's obviously not true because I end up with all these strange ones and the ones that I would actually wish would pay me attention don't so what some people might think oh this girl has it all and she could whoever she wants that's not necessarily true let's see maybe because Mariah yeah Mariah says this pod thing still makes me laugh David you literally created a word but the Trevor did but the Trevor Eamon not me I never started myself with girls so dudes wouldn't talk to me I was just hanging out with my buds okay Mariah so that's if that's true then or since that's true for you then how would you want to be approached by a guy out of the blue you're saying hi I'm I'm Andrew Johnson what's your name you know I mean some girls do just hang out their friends because like if they're coming from different states or they're comfortable around them because it's somebody they know and they don't want to be by themselves in a Sea of Faces then yeah I'd say hang out with your friends um but I think if a girl was like actively hoping that a guy would take notice in her she would do something to make uh like an opening for a guy to feel comfortable to approach her at the same time see they had dudes and girls did you guys say that we had a bunch of Youth at your church like the the point of it is Mariah that Olivia and I both grew up um Without Youth so walking up to one of these PODS of these groups of girls it's a daunting thing we're not exactly sure how we're supposed to do it because if we just go out and we if Andrew just walks up and say hi Mariah I'm Andrew and talks to you then it would come off as obvious or whatever just your siblings yeah I think they were from a pretty small group also okay yeah but when it comes to the confidence like I don't think people need to have confidence in themselves in that moment like if there's this girl that they like okay cool in and of themselves they like her but if they know that God has somebody for them and they're wanting to find the person God has for them why would they place so much confidence in themselves why not why not put your thinking more in a place where you can have confidence in God where you pray about it and you've been praying for your future wife that will bring you both together when it's time to the right person so the goal isn't for you to just find this girl you think is pretty and start dating her I mean you if you don't if she doesn't feel a connection you can't even start and it can't lead anywhere towards courtship but if you think the possibility pray about it and see if the door opens and if it doesn't like you know if he prays about it you say okay I'm gonna make a move and see if I can get this girl to talk to me see if she's interested just have confidence that it's not about you no matter if she rejects you or accepts you you've already prayed that God's perfect will be done in the situation have confidence that he will lead you right if it's not his will she'll reject you and praise God because you got your answer early if it is his will the door will open you know like see Chris Smith says uh every girl is different David and you're not going to comprehend the female brain it's a phenomenon for miss me Isabel it's a phenomenon they will never fully understand to be fair I don't even think females understand or uh fully comprehend their own female brain because it's not consistent I've never had a girl be consistent in what to think like me asking about these things really what I'm trying to do is just like they're saying okay you're doing it wrong okay cool what's the right way because if there's a wrong way then there's a right way and if there's a right way I'm going to try to do things correctly you know we're trying to figure out what is the most effective way of doing these things yes everyone's different but if someone's going to want to correct you about the wrong way of doing it and they're not willing to tell you the correct way of doing it they shouldn't correct you in just the wrong way without also providing you the correct way of doing it otherwise they're just critiquing you just to critique you maybe they don't know how to tell you the right way they just know that way it doesn't work well if if someone knows how something doesn't work without knowing what does work that doesn't quite make sense well Thomas Edison tried how many times before he got the light bulb but he's still got the light bulb well yeah he tried so many times you kept figuring out ways it didn't work I mean in relationships are so intricate and difficult and everybody like changes something about it because everybody's so unique with their personalities and things so there is no one-size-fits all I know somebody that's that answer yes I understand I'm just saying if someone says oh you're doing this wrong okay cool what's the right way you tried that right oh everyone's different so you're still doing it wrong it's like what just trying to understand you you never understand it but you're trying to figure out what is the most effective way of being of of doing these things I think it's to embrace change of course but some ways if someone says oh this is the wrong way then you almost the right way people don't have like the head knowledge but they aren't very good at teaching somebody else or passing that knowledge along to somebody else so even if like somebody was fantastic at piano and this one's like hey can you teach me something on piano they just can't explain it like they can play awesomely but they can't explain it there's some people like that so maybe they know that's not the right way and they know a better way to go about it but they have no idea how to get that thought across to somebody else yeah I wouldn't even say that we're trying to fully understand the female brain we're trying to figure out how to initiate conversation I don't want to hear that question on these lives anymore I have I have like split that white out but you've got to have an introduction and form repertoire trust subtle body language cues connection if it doesn't go anywhere there's no interest if it does there's mutual interest that you can become friends from there good good so that was really really uh quick off the draw I was I was perfect good stuff um all right so like what would you say to a guy who's interested in a regular girl but he's not confident about doing anything about it maybe he feels like he's too shy or he's too he's too not uh popular not too good looking or whatever else what would you say to that kind of guy he's not confident making it happen or trying to talk to her or whatever else well if he doesn't do anything it's never going to happen for sure but ultimately you want somebody who's going to accept you for you so even if you are like more quiet like you don't have to be the most charismatic guy in the room some girls aren't going to like that there's similarities that draw people together and then there's differences that keep them together because of like that mystery and Novelty we talked about earlier things that complement each other um somebody mentioned in the comments that confidence is key and that's quite true because girls love confidence if a guy is confident and he's like I'm gonna do this I want this girl so much I'm gonna show her how much I want her and what I would do to get her then the girl's like whoa this is very flattering I mean he's not going to go to that extreme that he can't most likely but I'm just saying that like confidence does go a long way and in some cases you kind of have to fake it till you make it if you feel like that will help and I don't mean like being somebody you're not but enough to put you in a mindset where you can portray that you're portray confidence something to get you to the place where you're able to do what you're dying to do inside not everybody is very confident by nature but I'm trying to help land them and you say oh I'm just not confident stop saying that stop saying you're not something the Bible says Abraham called those things which be not as though they were who against hope believed in Hope and God imputed unto him for righteousness sake for the band said God can't do anything for you until you first confess that it's already done so regardless never say you're not confident say you're trying say I'm confident that God is making me into the man I need I need to become when you say something that Satan will say admit like oh I'm just unconfident I can't do anything Satan saying amen preach it Landon Turner no say I am exactly where God wants to me to be I'm doing everything I can for God God's making me to who I'm supposed to be someone said so I said regret you're right shoot your shot try regret from not trying is worse than hurt from rejection and when I say regular one what I'm saying is every girl like at every camp every time there is a hierarchy or they say uh a way where girls consider certain girls to be the prettiest girls there and those girls get the most attention that's just part of social interaction regular hey there oh great so Landon I'm going to get personal here why are you extremely unconfident in your mind what is it that caused me to lack so much confidence because if we know this about you we might be able to give something that actually actually benefits you more yeah that's a good point Mariah um if there wasn't a reason that she gave it simply could have been for lack of connection which I I feel like somebody should be able to voice but some people just don't want to I don't know sometimes they just don't know the best way to say something so they avoid it in general you can't make somebody tell you but um you know if she wasn't the one for you anyway I wouldn't worry about it yeah I mean I think I think that's you for you and that's all you have to worry about yeah I think God wants us to have faith for healing for a job for the right mate I think that would be a key thing and it is exceptionally hard to have patience because a lot of times we want to just make something happen and you know it's cool to see couples like my mom and dad this this December they will have been married for 35 years and they're still in love feel it's awesome you know even brother Branham was shy and nervous and like he said like he he wrote a letter to propose to his wife his first wife you know like he was batchful as can be um so like we want to have faith and pray for the right kind of Maintenance what we want and someone said that you the regret you feel from not trying for instance a doctoral girl is worse than the regret than the hurt from being rejected I'm not exactly sure I was a military brat and I've always just always had trouble finding friends I really did try but I feel like I'm not being myself whenever I make myself seem confident it's not about seeming confidence about being who you are and um being who you are and not worrying what people who are not LED of the spirit of God think of you someone thinks something of you and it's not in a nice way and it's not in a Godly way we you shouldn't give a second thought to it be what you are like you're a baseball player you have a Mustang you like Disney World be the best baseball player to ever exist in the planet give that everything you've got give God everything you have and be confident in what God created you and not to try to obtain like oh I'm confident no Bubba says the Lord shall be that confidently he shall keep thy foot from being taken so have faith for these things pray about it but don't say a testimony Satan we'll say Amen to even if it's not true Abram called those things which be not as though they were so hope that helps I think he made the comment about seeming confident because I had said like the fake it till you make it type thing because you can you can you can actually obtain a level of confidence from making yourself believe you are confident any sense but you know it could just be your personality Landon um people who know me or think people who are acquainted with me believe me to be a very extroverted outgoing person I I know that I am both introverted and extroverted I think I lean a little bit more on extroverted seven introverted but depending who I'm around that draws out of me my extrovert or introvert side there are some people that I can sit in a room with for hours and they're talking laughing with friends and I'll just like be in a shy little shell and hardly say anything and I don't know if that's your situation or not if you're an introvert you're not gonna you're not going to be as vocal in groups um you are Ken up Landon yeah but see even even if you're not like as assertive or confident as other people chances are then you're going to end up with somebody who's very outgoing and very confident because you're drawn to that that's what you want for yourself and opposites usually attract each other I agree just because just because you you feel like you lack something a lot of other people have perhaps it doesn't mean anything's wrong with you or you're less than or you can't get a girl that's not the case at all God made I believe God makes a person for everybody and he knows it's better than we know ourselves so he's going to do exactly who you need when you need it brother Randy biscal preached a sermon called the value of the flaw people should listen to it if they haven't um and he preached about how sometimes Godless just go through things and we may battle it but um god well let's go through it and fight it rather than have us overcome it immediately because sometimes the pride you get from overcoming something you will think you did it yourself and that's worse than having a flaw where you constantly constantly keeps on bringing you back to God it's an hour and I can't really encapsulate a sermon by wimpy one of the probably one of the greatest preachers to ever live couple of biscal that's an hour and 40 minutes long within 12 seconds you know but just look up on YouTube Eddie biscal the value of the flaws is really good excellent excellent this myself and if it's perfectly with the conversation so yeah to build confidence get out and try new things prove to yourself that you can do more than you think you can like confidence comes with experiences get out learn new things experience life it will build your confidence James is 100 right in that one thing with confidence you need to it is in the words you say too it is uh you you whatever you say is what would be you know a young person you'll never live above your confession how you feel but then kill the guy of blindness one time and he was going along everywhere saying it was healed but he still couldn't see anything but the BAM said no matter what say you're healed and he did for months he still wasn't healed then he went to a barber shop and then they uh they said they tease them they're laughing I was like no I am healed when he was done they teased him again he said no I am healed and then he could see so whatever you keep your confession the same even if it's not true they never live above your confession let's see uh Mariah Landon most people are having the same pressure it's not just you my husband was so troubled by that when he was younger he said he prayed and prayed and he was given a newfound confidence he's a principal yes brother Andrew brother school is a prince of preachers he is it's just amazing I I've actually been going through some of his old archives on the website listening to them they're really good yeah and that's that's also excellent advice Landon like you can only do so much in and of yourself and if we tried to do everything ourselves it would just fail any areas that you feel like you're weak um pray about it ask ask God to help you grow into the person you need to be you could even land it with people for instance Landon if you're trying to talk to say even a girl I'd say and if correct me if I'm wrong on this but if you tell them hey I'm really I feel very unconfident trying to talk to people but I'd love to introduce myself my name is London Turner and if you just be honest people love teaching other people things even if it's just friends whatever and they get to know you then you get more confident people love correcting people and then and like teaching them so if you tell them like yeah I'm just unconfident introducing myself to people like oh well here's a better way to do it and there you go you're having a conversation like that it's kind of like it's a it's a link to this like when you don't know what to do state the obvious for instance like when dad told me when I'm songwriting and I have and I feel zero uh inspiration say guys I don't feel any inspiration but I know God saved me God sent a prophet and you go through all these different things and God is here because he said in his word wherever two or three gathered in my name I will be in their midst so you almost say the obvious and then say something that you know is true and when you talk about it more and you say it out loud it has less power over you I don't know if I would walk up to a girl and if I were a guy I don't from a girl's perspective I don't think it would be the best move if a guy walked out to a girl and was like Hey I'm not a confident person you're like cutting yourself down right off the bat you know it's like very ironic your insecurities on your sleeve that's ironic as if you told them like hey I I was I've loved your advice on something it's hard for me to introduce myself to new people because I'm sometimes unconfident especially when talking to girls what do you think I should do then you're approaching them as like a counsel way in an indirectly instead of making it about you talking to a girl because there's different layers of talking to people in different contexts and the context is her trying to help you then you could you could see what her advice is I think I think that is a question I would say for when you get to know the person better as a friend because then they'll know you better in ways that they can help you anyway but I don't I don't think it's a good first impression to walk up to somebody and be like hey I'm horrible at this like don't cut yourself down that's just my opinion I don't I don't think you should flaunt your insecurities as your first introduction that's not how you want somebody to remember you oh yeah I met this guy he's super unconfident that's not how you want to be remembered so I like if you genuinely wanted to learn and you wanted this girl's opinion I would wait until you guys were closer to have that conversation um she'd probably be able to help you more anyway you know what you're I think I think you're right I think I had that one wrong I think you're right on that one um so like land is like when we say fake it till you make her we're not saying fake it's necessarily fake it it's um it's more of uh become the person you need to be in order to be successful become a confident person by saying words your words are self-ignotic hypnotic if you smile it's send subconscious subconscious messages to your brain that you're happy so like we're not saying to fake anything but to fix the first interaction you can like change your State of Mind basically yeah good points good stuff yeah that's so that that is a better way of explaining what I meant when I said fake it so we make it with comments like you said like if you're feeling down if you force yourself to smile like you don't feel happy the first time you smile but if you keep doing it or you're like do a fake laugh or something pretty soon you'll be laughing for for real or just feeling happier in general so if you fake the confidence after a few minutes you're actually genuinely going to be confident and that might not work for everybody if they don't know how to go about like faking it but um the concept is it's not even ironically it's not faking it it's being it right you're becoming it you're like projecting it pretty much I know sorry what were you saying uh that you're like projecting it you're projecting what you want when you come off when you're being more confident you actually are more confident because confidence is a mindset not a being it's a mindset because something can break your confidence immediately and that doesn't mean you don't have confidence it's a mindset to have and another big thing that plays into it is your it's your thoughts like a really good actor or actress they're not just reading lines and like faking emotions they're channeling their thoughts as if they were actually experiencing whatever scene they're playing they're like thinking as if they're that person going through that thing and it's and it's like the unspoken words that just float through your mind um so yeah like your thoughts will play a huge part if you just build yourself up to a state of confidence in your mind you're that's what you'll be projecting yeah we we love you too London one thing I actually did at byc when uh the person that was trying to act in a skit she was like I feel like I'm not being loud enough and I said when you're doing your part I want you to speak things louder than you think you need to so it's louder than you think so like it's uh we love you too London it's being more confident than you think you need to be and it's not faking it so you make it it's being it it's like almost acting but it's being you are what you do confidence is just your mindset if I'm shooting a free throw and I miss 25 in a row it's my mindset I'm not going to stop until I make it it's a mindset not exactly a being it's just a mindset and actually I remember hearing a long time ago that like the good actors they become the characters that they're playing and that's kind of dangerous because then they can take on those Spirits like if they're playing a murderer or something like they can take on bad spirits from becoming that character like they get so into the role and they take on that mindset I love how invested your mom is in this she's been on like the whole time I take away that's right I just love that yeah it was amazing I think I'd love to have her remember this is one of your lives she what I think she watches like every one of your lives I always see her on here yeah she's pretty cool I think she likes them So when you say like for you you married the one when someone says oh you'll you'll just know when they're the one what does that mean to you specifically um so this is what I answered earlier when you had gone to the restroom but I think there's some new people on so what people say that and until you experience it it just sounds like you're not getting an answer but everyone has a consistent answer of that and I had told myself when I was younger like I'm tired of hearing that answer when I get married I'm gonna actually give people a real answer because that's like not a good answer it doesn't help anybody who's not married but I feel like what they say is true I think they're just giving like a shortened version of it that isn't very explanatory so the way I would put it is it is true that you just know when you meet the one but what that means is like brother Brandon talks about you should have a direct revelation of the person you're going to marry and you marry them faith is a revelation and when you have faith for something just know like Beyond any shadow of a doubt you just know you're just so confident insuring yourself and you can't explain it but there's something inside of you telling you I know it's right and you have the faith to move forward yeah let's see all right so like do you believe you see we already went through the everybody has one person intended for them or multiple people um so last question here because promise four hours in um what's the uh biggest difference between dating versus being married oh there's a few things I'm going to reference my notes on this because I know where they're at they're the last ones on my page um okay so I think some of the biggest differences between hearing about relationships or you're just receiving relationship advice prior to being married compared to being married is having the experience of the application of it so what I mean by that is it's hard to fully comprehend everything until it's put into a real life perspective for you it's kind of like schooling you you get taught the technicalities of things but the puzzle pieces don't click until you have to apply it real life so I can compare it to something as annoying as like word problems in school they make you practice them over and over and over again you know how they work you figure them out it's like you know you're thinking this is pointless how am I going to apply it you you see it in this unapplied form where they're teaching you the concepts but you can't grasp the importance of those Concepts until you have to apply it in your own life later so I think now that I'm married like all the advice and stuff I heard in the past it's like making more sense it's becoming more of a reality like okay I know exactly what they're talking about I know why they said this it's like wow that's true and when you're seeing it played out in your own life and you're experience in it it just has a deeper meaning like it becomes more of a reality to you rather than just a technical concept so that would be the first one um the selflessness in marriage which people do talk about but has to be said again because it is really a huge part to have both people pulling in the same direction like you want your hearts and Minds in unity as much as possible so you're pulling the load together and you're not going in opposite directions it just makes everything in life easier and I think one of the biggest differences that nobody really talks about um that I noticed just recently is the difference between dating versus married so when you're dating you're still most likely a lot of people are still living at home like with their parents okay and if you're raised in a good Christian home with message believing parents they're studying before you this wonderful example of how important churches how important reading your Bible and praying every day is you hear sermons streaming in the house like you're constantly presented with this positive influence of the word the word the priority like prioritizing God above everything else it should be number one and you have your parents and your siblings and multiple people in a house who are constantly portraying that day in and day out and you like you know it's true and it's you know it's important something you have to do but there's like this this encouragement or a reminder it's like oh somebody else is doing it they're quiet they're reading their Bible now it'd be a good time for me to do it too you know it's like a subtle encouragement from your peers so to say um but when that's gone and you're by yourself whether it's just you your husband or your husband's gone to work all day in your house by yourself it's like a big eye opener to to how life can try to get in the way of that and you realize that you don't have that constant um influence in your life anymore like it's solely up to you you don't have anybody in your day-to-day life like being a subtle influence or or playing tapes like they're pushing playing you can like hear it throughout the house or something it's up to you to do that and to make time for that and you have to be very proactive about doing you don't have anybody doing it in the background in addition to what you're doing like you're the only one here so if you're not thinking about it practically if you're not doing it it's not happening and you have to be a lot more proactive in your spiritual life when you're completely by yourself versus when you're in a household where multiple people are doing it around you because like that constant reminder is just not as prevalent like you know it it's obviously a thing you do but um when you're by yourself and you don't have other people doing it it's it's it's different it's just got a different feel to it great stuff do you have any more thoughts on that um it's all kind of along the same lines I just I think like seeing it on a daily basis and seeing other people live it constantly around you is a huge encouragement and you hear the word being talked about if you're by yourself you can't hear conversations like between your mom and dad talking about the Bible there's something they've heard in a sermon like you're by yourself you don't have those conversations and I kind of miss it because um that's something I grew up with but like I'm very thankful I had to influence an example for so long and it it helps keep it in your mind a lot stronger than when you're just by yourself a lot of the time so it's really good that I I think that's something people don't think about when they think about like living at home dating versus marriage but it's like a very big shift in the whole dynamic of the atmosphere of the home like you are the sole creator of the atmosphere of the home let's see London Turner this is one really good another good point before we end let's see I'd sure to believe that my faith is at the strongest the strongest that it's ever been at the moment I know I can make it better and I feel like once I reach that point I'll become more proactive land and you will never get to a point where you think my faith is the highest it's ever been being proactive is the highest point there is higher levels of Faith than others of course but faith is an act of it's Faith you know you're never going to be a place where like yeah I have enough confidence yeah I haven't affect them it's a proactive thing where you're always working out there's no point where like yeah I've gotten to the point with God where I need to be like no you're always striving that's the point where you know you're at the right point is when you're always striving not when you think you're at the peak of the peak already all right so do you have any final thoughts Olivia I mean I'm trusting that you covered everything because I haven't been checking my notes so I I think I have I have and uh do you what what are some uh some really good tapes or books that you recommend for the audience like message titles yeah as far as books like we already know the Bible in the message book like even like books apart you know like uh the bat like uh you know tournament makeover or the uh The Babylon one called uh the richest the richest man in Babylon that one's also really good but um but like any books or tapes I was always there's so many good ones I can never keep track of like all the titles I'm in one that I will probably forever remember was the message images of Christ and that's simply because I was healed listening to that prayer line when I was 13 12 or 13. so that tape title has always really stood out in my mind um I would I would recommend focusing on any tapes we're both the brand talks about what the Holy Ghost was receiving it um those are always very good reminders especially how late it is so when it comes to books I'm not much of a reader quite honestly basically the only thing I read in book form is my Bible and like the exposition the signature changes but I don't do like pleasure reading I just don't have books that hold my interest enough so very very that also is really good thinking uh let's see uh one of my favorites is uh looking at the Unseen that one's the woman brother Ben speaks and says like I am the Lord that raised up Christ from the grave brother Branham has nothing to do in this that one's really good it's awesome it's different ones for different things images of Christ which which year is that preached in 49 49. interesting okay yeah very cool I used to have the whole date memorized but I haven't thought about a long time I just know it was 1949 images of Christ and then that that at the end of the tape during the prayer line um the choosing of a bride's also very good yes God hiding himself in Simplicity than revealing himself in the same there's two of those actually and they're both very good it's using a variety I mean how do you pick there's so many in there okay Christ is the mystery God revealed is also very good yes I loved um actually going through and reading the manuscript forms of the Seven Seals when he goes over those like I got a lot more out of it when I was reading and just like taking notes and things versus hearing it because he can move so quickly where you kind of Miss stuff but if you're looking at it you can always stop and go back I see someone said who's this Melchizedek Landon I listen to that song that's that I probably listened to that sermon over a hundred times when I was 14 I listened to the bunch let's see uh Jesus says father and mother this man could this Jesus gave his life this man couldn't because he was life to be a person you have to be a personality if you're a person with a personality you're a separate individual being those are quotes from uh from who is this I remember those all right well this has been amazing Olivia thank you for coming on this has been the longest live that we've had by God's grace which is awesome there it is I hope I hope I busted some things wide open oh yeah exactly it's it's really good it puts into words a lot of people don't do but uh I'm actually gonna have you go ahead and pray and then we'll end it okay all right wonderful dear heavenly father we thank you Lord for this time together this time of fellowship and we pray that you would bless each person who spent the time viewing and that they would leave tonight feeling encouraged and we ask that you would help us all to grow closer to you be with us as we go our separate ways tonight bless the services tomorrow in the precious name of the Lord Jesus Christ we pray amen amen um Sharon said uh her favorite tip was ashamed from 1965 very good these are awesome all right guys God bless you that was awesome thanks for coming on Olivia yeah here yeah